What if everyone in the world made the same New Year’s Resolution? What if all of us said “Let us make peace in our lives, and bring happiness into our being by loving ourselves?” Do you think you could stick with that plan? If any of us need to change something it is the self talk that flows freely through our minds constantly. We all have that self-doubt, we all have those bad days, we all have those friends that turn out not to be friends, we all have family members that we do not get along with. Do we care too much about how others judge us but not enough about how we regard ourselves? I think if we are honest and look within our hearts, we will find that we do not hold our own self in the high regard we should. I have made myself a priority for a long time now. I still have problems in my life, we all do as that is part of life. However, I decided when I went through a toxic and very ugly divorce that no one would ever control me again. I will admit I was hurt from the words that came out of the mouths of people who knew me well, gossip that always found its way back to me, but in that ugliness and nastiness I found myself. I found a person who could stand up to defamation and do what I needed to allow myself a fulfilling life. If others do not see my decisions as acceptable, well who cares? I am my own best friend. I will always follow my instincts, values and beliefs. Sometimes, we get rude awakenings about people involved in our lives, and it is usually from them through their actions or words. We all have faults, no one is perfect, but what happens is we see something contrary to the core convictions inside of us and we need to remove this person from our life. It is never easy to do this, but you have to remember there are only a few people who will stay true to you, and YOU should be one of them! You should never have to apologize for being yourself, nor apologize when your feelings are compromised.
This past year has challenged for me. I have chosen to end negativity in my life. I have done it slowly and without malice. My day-to-day existence was reflecting the negativity that was surrounding me in many ways. The reliving of my daughter’s death over and over while I tried to bring justice was causing health problems for me. I began to see that I was unduly influenced by this adversity in other ways. I found myself allowing behavior from others that was not acceptable, that I excused such behavior because I wanted to avoid confrontation. Then it dawned on me, I was once again putting others before my own principles. I knew this was not who I was. My mother used to tell me that we have to forgive but we do not have to keep people in our lives that we are uncomfortable around. I thought about her words, and decided to detach myself from a few people who not only offended me but challenged my feelings about abuse which I have been a victim of. I felt bad. I always feel bad when I see an ending to a relationship, but the unpleasantness that came after each falling out made me realize I had made the right decision after all. I feel better, I really do. I realize I am unapologetically me. I do not need to conform to anyone else’s standards. My own standards are my best justification. I show the world who I am and what I believe through my blogs and my Facebook page Villa Migelita. I do not take anything personally, because what other people do is because of them, not me. Although I still hear silly gossip, I refuse to do the same back, it is not who I am.
So let’s talk about goals. That has been my mindset for a long time now. I moved to Colombia with the goal of getting away from the unpleasantness that surrounded me after the divorce and the death of my daughter. I then made it my goal to find a peaceful place to live with my animals, a place where I could add to my animal family without worrying about space and freedom for them to live a nice life. I did that. I then decided that I wanted to have a Bed and Breakfast because I enjoy being around people, just like I enjoyed meeting new people when I was a flight attendant with Delta Air Lines. I am doing that now. I will open in the New Year and the name of my Bed and Breakfast is Villa Migelita. My next goal is to turn my writings into a book. I have no doubt I will do this also. You know why? I believe we can do anything if we believe in ourselves and our own abilities. You are never more alive than when you are being true to yourself, you do not need to be perfect, you just need to be who you are. Life is too short to compare your progress and decisions with others, because our lives are not scripted in the same way. Even if you fail, you tried. You just pick yourself up and love that you were brave enough to do what you want to do without fearing judgment from naysayers or small-minded people. I don’t approve of everything I have done in my life, but it has gotten me to where I am today. I am following my dreams and I am letting the Universe guide me. I will succeed because I believe I will and you can do the same with your life if you believe in yourself and love yourself. So let us begin 2015 with a new thought process, let the thoughts that guide you be kind and loving. Let the world see you are kind and loving not just to others but to yourself. Things do not always work out the way we want them to, they work out when they are meant to happen. So here is to a great New Year to all of you, inspire yourself, follow your dreams, make your own mark in this world, show people you have a song in your heart and you want to share it with them. The secret is to find your fulfillment within yourself, no one else can do that for you. Love yourself as only you can do, do not let anyone take away the joy you deserve.