Posted in Achievements, Alternative Lifestyle, Colombia, Colombian life, coronavirus, Covid-19, Entreprenuer, exercise, expat life, freedom, friendship, Live your best life, Uncategorized

Reflections on Growing Older


Reflecting on the years past happen a lot lately. The months spent in the Villa as Covid ravaged the world brought to the forefront a lot of thoughts about my age. I found myself remembering times in my life that shaped me and the future I made for myself. So much whirled around in my head as life seemed to be running like a freight train speeding towards some final destination of which I could only guess. Years pass by quickly as we get older, and not so much when we are young. When my dog Marley started declining this past year, I felt the pressure of time take root in my mind. He passed away in December and took many years with him. He had been a constant companion through a lot of upheavals.

I am the same age that I thought was old when my parents were alive. I could always call them for anything I needed; advice, money, babysitting, to hear them tell me they were proud of me and my independence. How is it that I now am the one giving advice? How is it that I see so many of my daughter’s friends with families, buying homes, advancing in their jobs, doing what I did at the same age? It became clear to me during the year 2020 that I was now accelerating in a different direction, towards old age. My granddaughter grew into a teenager; while my son was learning to speak Spanish and help me with my hotel. My years on Earth are no longer passing without hurry but like a parachute falling from the sky.

How is it possible I have lived in Colombia for ten years? I look at photos of when I first arrived in this lovely country, and I see glimpses of the changing years in my appearance. I am no longer a skinny redhead filled with the need to appear more youthful than I am. I am similar to a bird in flight, searching for what will be my next landing place. I have learned to navigate my business, my life, and my thoughts without so much emotion. I don’t hold grudges; I eliminate anyone less than worthy of my time. I have concluded it is nice to be independent and fully capable of a good life which I direct completely. I land like a bird in different spots depending on the day and my needs. It is part of living life with a degree of flexibility. We all need to be flexible during this unusual time of the Pandemic. We also need to be patient. I still try to accomplish being patient, which is a struggle I acknowledge about myself.

Yielding to life’s changes doesn’t make me weak. I can differentiate between what is necessary and what is not. I find my day is not complete without coffee and photography in the early morning while enjoying my birds at the feeders. If I have plans, I give myself enough time to enjoy this part of my day. I have found that a sudden thunderstorm here in the Andes Mountains of Colombia is exciting. I know I have to expect lightning striking nearby, and sometimes so much rain I have to use a squeegee to remove water off the balconies. Sometimes, I need to push my Dogo Argentino, Cash off of me too! He is a big baby when he hears lightning and thunder. I need to exercise almost every day. I am feeling the pains of my youth and the dancing and exercise I subjected my body to. Yoga helps me, especially for maintaining a calm demeanor throughout the day.

My mind thinks like my twenty-something self. I might have more years, but I am still youthful in my thinking. I have many younger friends, and I appreciate what they bring to my life. They have given me the ability to see what an extraordinary life I have designed for myself. They deliver laughs; while giving me a lot of great ideas! I improve my business as they offer me new suggestions, including event planning at my beautiful Villa. I have to continue to grow into this uncertain future during the time of the Covid-19. Life might have changed throughout the past year, but I have adapted.

Finally, I continue to improve my Spanish language skills. I am living in Colombia, my first language of English is not my first language here. I have read learning a new language can keep the mind fresh. I think in Spanish as much as I use my native English now. I continue to grow as a person as much as I continue to march onward in years. I don’t want to be that older woman who longs for the “old days.” What fun would that be? I want to be part of the future of this evolving world. I believe that means that I must adapt, grow, and enjoy life as it is now in 2021. I will continue to refuse a stereotypical role of what some deem correct for a woman my age. I will accept growing older as part of the elegance I have strived to achieve my entire adult life. As I have always said, “I want to look and be the best I can be, no matter my age.”

Author:

I am an American who moved to Colombia to find peace after the devastating loss of my daughter. I bought and renovated a Villa, am learning Spanish, and writing as catharsis. This blog will be like a book with chapters. Each blog will be about my life in Colombia and my adventures. I hope you will enjoy the many new discoveries I am making every day about myself and another culture.

10 thoughts on “Reflections on Growing Older

  1. Michele, such a poignant and timely message you shared. I have been going through similar realizations, too. Some nights I have trouble falling asleep as I re-live various times of my life, both good and not-so-proud times. Then I think “where have all the years flown?” “How would things be if something had gone differently?” But then I have to be grateful for everything that has gotten me to where, and whom, I am. It’s all okay, as-it-is. Such is Life.
    Big hugs and thanks to you, dear friend!!! xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, come on! Who is kidding who? You’re still a babe!!

    On another note, I was watching youtube last night of the fellow, Alex Honnold, who climbed El Capitan “free solo”. What a feat! Absolutely amazing and extraordinary! Talk about mind over matter and the time and effort to mature to get there mentally. (My biggest take from watching was him saying, “doubt is the precursor of fear”.) Seems like time is a double-edged sword.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wonderfully written ~
    Specially , don’t hold on too much to what was , the past ,,,
    embrace today and all the great new memories that it will bring~ evolve ~
    Michele, truly enjoy reading your blogs

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Brillant, as they say in the UK. I often find myself doing the same, forks in the road that change the game. I look at life as a continuation, not as a single line with a start and end. We will return and advance; we have always done so and will continue to do so.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great comment Donnie! Just think how many years have passed since we had that chance encounter after I went to protest the handling of my daughter’s trial for justice. It seems like yesterday, yet it was a very important time in my life, even if it turned out to be for nothing.

      Like

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