Author: hummingsfromparadise

I am an American who moved to Colombia to find peace after the devastating loss of my daughter. I bought and renovated a Villa, am learning Spanish, and writing as catharsis. This blog will be like a book with chapters. Each blog will be about my life in Colombia and my adventures. I hope you will enjoy the many new discoveries I am making every day about myself and another culture.
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You Are All My Daughters

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

The anniversary of my daughter’s death was yesterday. Such a dismal day: one I will live the rest of my life, an affiliation that no one wants, but many share with me. We are members of a somber club, one that only we as the parents of a deceased child understand. We carry extreme grief that has settled into our very being.  Many people assume we get better as the years go by, but we don’t; we continue with the same heartache year in and year out. In fact, if possible to feel anything worse after you lose a child, you do as the years go by as you imagine where they would be in life at whatever age they would be as the date of their death passes.

Every year as the date approaches I get anxious. I fear the day so much. Believe me that I hate a lot of the days of the year now: Mother’s Day, her birthday, Christmas, my birthday, and the list goes on. As she would be getting older, I imagine what she would have accomplished. What we could do together, what we would talk about as she matured, as her daughter Amaya was growing up. Those who knew my daughter and me; know she died when we were at a point of separation in our lives. Not only did I lose my daughter, but I lost her when she wasn’t speaking to me. It has taken me a long time to accept this, but I have. As her mother I am sure I made mistakes; but she made many also. I loved her unconditionally but I had to let her be whom she wanted to be. It never worked out when I tried to help her. So I had to let go. Letting go is not easy. I read her twitter posts and knew she was doing pretty well for herself. She was still going to school even with a child and lived with her best friend; she seemed to be happy with her life. I assumed she would grow up and we would grow close again when she matured some. I never had that chance to regain the closeness we once had because she was murdered by a hit and run driver. A harsh lesson for me. So as the years go by I imagine we would have reunited, and made peace. In fact, I know we would have been fine with each other within that same year, if she wasn’t taken so suddenly. I have made my peace with that.

Now when I look back on my life with my daughter I see so many photos of joyful times. Our summers in the mountains were especially wonderful. We had the most amazing years hiking the Great Smoky Mountains every summer, shopping for her back to school clothes, decorating her room so many times, having her friends come on vacations with us, enjoying our animals, leaning on each other more than a few times. We were very close. I know that now. A short period of growing up does not speak for the life of my daughter whom I raised to be a good person. She proved how special she was by the cause of her death. She was trying to help someone she saw get hit by a car.

As the years pass and the anniversary of her death approaches I have decided to look at all the pictures I have of Misha. I will rejoice in the short life she did have, and I will smile at the memories. I will share the milestones Misha never had with her friends whom are still in my life. They are all my daughters, as they grew up in my house with Misha. My house was one in which her friends were always welcome. They share stories with me still. I will enjoy their new marriages, births, photos of family like they are my own daughters. I know that is what Misha would want. When I meet  new young people who are the same age as Misha I will embrace the fact they are living their lives well and be happy for their accomplishments. I can’t have this with my daughter, but every time my granddaughter celebrates a milestone, I will say a prayer that Misha somehow knows from wherever she is now. I will continue to live my best life in the name of my deceased daughter. I will hopefully educate those who do not know any better that we who have lost a child, no matter what the circumstances, never get over it. We just get on with our lives. That is the best we can do.

 

 

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Bright and Cheery Days Wandering Cali, Colombia

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dailypost.wordpress.com/photo-challeng… https://t.co/KWqtugQizb

I can see many alphabet letters in this painting of a brightly colored lizard. It is almost like that book Where’s Waldo. You have to look carefully to see them, but they are there. I see many O’s (but one is quite distinct), a G, lot’s of V’s and a C in the same place the G is. Can you see them too? Looking at art painted as murals in the San Antonio district of Cali,Colombia is one of my favorite tourist adventures.  Day 3 Cali La Chorrea 047

Then there is this crazy, scary clown trash receptacle. I see them all over Colombia and I can’t imagine a child wanting to deposit trash in it’s mouth! However, I like the look of the waste container next to the sign that points to the bathrooms -> baños! Something is so interesting in this photo with the play equipment in the background. To me, it is the horror of the clown alongside the playground. Can you tell I don’t like clowns? Especially the way it says Para la Basura (for the trash) with the huge hole in the center!

Cali with Martha 022

Finally, I love this photo of my feet on my astrology sign written in Spanish. It makes me smile. Just wandering around taking photos, you never know how delightful they will be until you look at them.

Janet day 4 024

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Spirits Do You Believe?

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<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/photo-challenges/weightless/”>Weight(less)</a&gt;

I took this photo the very first day I saw Villa Migelita. She was old, and tired, but so full of potential. I felt excitement just walking on the grounds of such an old Villa. When I looked at the photos from that day, this photo was very striking. What do you see? I see an orb, very clearly, it was a sign from my deceased daughter. I truly believe that she guided me to my place and watches over me as I complete my journey on this Earth. villa-migelita-072 She is my light, she lives within me. She is always with me. No matter what you believe. This is an example of what is written about over and over by people who have lost loved ones too soon. This is the soul of Misha, my daughter.

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The Unpopular Move

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/unpopular/”>Unpopular</a&gt;

A problem that many take part in which can be easily rectified is bending to what appears to be the popular choice of what is societal standards.  Communal standards are established by following the crowd; of which many engage in. I gave in to that lifestyle when married to both of my husbands. I was always so worried about what others thought of me. However, to be content in life we need to let go of what we think our life is supposed to be based on societal standards, and look inside ourselves for how life should be based on our own approach. We have the power inside ourselves to find our destiny. Not completely of course, but at least to a certain extent. We must challenge ourselves. It is that simple.

When I moved to Colombia, I surprised many people, but more than that they were judgmental. I found myself more alone than ever before in my life, which is interesting when you delve into this subject. Why do so many people feel they have a say in someone’s decisions in life? Is this societal behavior or something else? Here I was bereft from a horrible divorce and loss of a child, yearning for change, but I encountered really bad reactions to my decision. They were subtle, but definitely there. I had friends of many years ignore my emails I would write from Colombia telling them of my adventures and happiness. People who were like family to me. They just didn’t answer me. It was hurtful. They judged me, even when they knew what I had gone through for almost three years. That is the most interesting part of my unpopular move. They knew if I had stayed and found a house in Florida, my life would not have changed, it would have remained the same. It would have been a continuation of the hell I had gone through. Yet, they felt that was the best way for me to live my life?

I based my decision to move on many factors, but the most important one was I needed to find me again. I could have stayed in Florida and done nothing to better my lifestyle, and conformed to others opinions or move to a new country and follow my dream of opening up a bed and breakfast. A dream that had not really taken shape, but it was there inside of me, deep inside with a solid foundation of anticipation. I had to remind myself of this over and over during the past years. I did not want mediocrity, a life waiting for others to change while I stood by and watched. I wanted to live. I had learned in a very hard way life is short when my daughter was murdered. I knew that I no longer could stand by and wait for others to come to my way of thinking. I just did what I needed to do for me. It didn’t fit in to others thought processes. I understand that. I really took a wild leap into the unknown. But it was my wild leap, just a short 3 and 1/2 hour flight from where I used to live. If I had moved back to Newport, Rhode Island where I lived when I married my first husband I imagine it would have been more acceptable, and a lot farther away. It would take me twice the time to get there from South Florida, then coming from South America. But it was acceptable to the standards of those who felt for some unknown reason they should have a say in what I should do for my future life. I image that moving with a guy who was younger than me also played into the detriment surrounding my move also.

Now here I am in Colombia which just made the list of Forbes Coolest Places to Visit for 2016. I have been in two articles, one in Yahoo Finance and the other in International Living Incomes Abroad and my Bed and Breakfast called Villa Migelita is open and running. I have regular guests and am meeting new people who have enriched my life. I have learned Spanish. I have continued my dream without worry of others opinions nor suggestions. My unpopular move has turned out to be just the thing I needed to do, not only for myself, but for troubled relationships with those people in my life who were wounded during a very difficult time. I have found that time and patience brought me what I needed to heal. I stopped thinking about what could go wrong, and started thinking about all the things that could go right. Is my future certain? No. Of course not, we can never have a perfect life. I understand that from my past. I just know I have made the best out of a situation that was going in the wrong direction, and I am happy I did. It has turned out well for me, and for that I am grateful. I will never know what the future will bring to me, but I am making the best out of my present moments. That is all we can do in this life, make the most of what is given to us, and then move forward from there.

 

 

 

 

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An Amphitheater from the Sky

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

Source: An Amphitheater from the Sky

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An Amphitheater from the Sky

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/photo-challenges/circle/”>Circle</a&gt;

The glorious sunny days of the mountains in Colombia, Valle del Cauca department are depicted perfectly in these photos taken from a Parapente in the sky. A challenge some are not up to taking, (including me), yet I have made a New Year’s promise to myself to do this soon. These photos capture the magnificence of the grandeur and beauty the Universe gives to us daily.

Credit for images from the sky needs to be given to Vuelos En Parapente, who operate here in La Buitrera de Palmira, Colombia.

Palmira Valle is known for Parapente and is visited year round by adventurers from all over the world to do just this. A ride that surely shows that Heaven can be found on Earth. Visit my website to book a stay in Paradise.

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2015 in review

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 16,000 times in 2015. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 6 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

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A Bridge We Can All Cross

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

I have discovered so much about myself in the last 5 years. I have found out I can continue to grow even when heartache lives inside my soul. When I lost my daughter almost 6 years ago, I wondered how I would go on. I have discovered that I can center myself in what is happening in my life now instead of what might happen or might not happen. For instance: I was devastated in 2014 when the murderer of my daughter was given probation instead of jail time for her death. There are really no words for heartache like I felt and still feel about the outcome. I read every single day people who get sentenced appropriately for the same kind of crime, but I also read stories like mine where a corrupt judge lets the killer walk. I entered 2015 with a mindset of anger over the outcome of the plea deal he got. I was extremely vexed as my daughters date of death approached in January and the killer Christian Cvitanovich was putting photos up on his Facebook page showing him drinking and without a care in the world. He even lists his occupation as ‘retired’. I would not be human if I said I could forgive and forget. I can’t, I just can’t. However, I have moved on with my life. I have lost a child, and I have moved forward, so if I can do it we all can. It is a bridge we all can cross no matter what our personal problems are: that bridge leads us to a better way of living. Her death has taught me to be a kinder more loving human being and to live my life with substance and integrity.

So, let me share some thoughts about my year 2015 with you my readers.

These are my Truisms from Colombia.

  1. No matter what you must live your life the way you want. Do not let anyone else influence your belief in yourself. I have progressed, not regressed. It is not easy, I have had many sleepless nights these past years.
  2. Walk your path in life the way you want. I have lost touch with some people in my life, including my brother. He doesn’t approve of my move to another country that he thinks is dangerous, yet here I am 5 years later with a Bed and Breakfast. Colombia just made the Forbes list of the 14 coolest places to visit in 2016! It does make me sad that my brother is not in contact with me, and I continue to send him notes, they go unanswered. All that I  have done has begun to heal my life and the suffering I have felt. Sometimes, we will feel we are not doing the right thing based on other’s beliefs…but we are actually where we should be!
  3. I think at Christmas we give too much to our children. They expect too much and have no idea about the hardships all over the world, including the United States. Why not do something like give your child a pen pal from another country? Join the Christian Children’ s Fund or another worthy cause and let your child write the letters to the child you are helping? What a good way to show compassion to those less fortunate! The cost is minimal and the lesson is wonderful. Your child, grandchild, or family member will learn a valuable cultural lesson. Not everyone receives a large number of gifts under the Christmas tree! My own son CJ actually wrote me and asked I give my gift to him for Christmas to the charity of my choice. I was so proud.
  4. Working hard for something you do not care about is called stress, but working hard for your passion is called peace.
  5. Stop looking at what others are doing for your definition of happiness! I can attest the internet is full of a lot of bullshit. I started my own personal Facebook page when my life was going downhill. I would put photos up that looked perfect but they didn’t tell the real story. I can guarantee this is true for 99.9 percent of the internet.
  6. Stop holding grudges over silly things that happen with people in your life. I had a friend, someone I adored and loved for many years. When I retired I gave all my uniforms to her. She came to my house to get them. We had wine and I opened my mouth and said “the last time I flew with you, you were horrible to another flight attendant. You were wrong, he was a great worker, perhaps you are making this job too much of your life.” I was wrong for criticizing, but she is wrong for giving up a friendship that was 3 decades long over that! She left (with the uniforms, LOL) and 30 years of friendship went with her.  Always apologize, because there are always two sides, which I did, and let go. If someone reaches out and apologizes accept that apology. I haven’t heard a word from my daughter’s murderer, perhaps if he apologized I could go on to forgive. I will never know because he hasn’t ever acknowledged any responsibility for his crime.
  7. Look at any obstacle in your life as an opportunity! I believe hardships are in your life for a reason and they show you what is worth fighting for! I am living a lovely life now, but I still have bumps along the way. I get past them and so can you. Do not let fear get in your way! There have been many times where fear of the unknown has kept me awake at night. I always remind myself that I have so many possibilities that are in front of me.
  8. Believe in your dream! I did and was recently published in International Living (scroll to page 8). Now I am adding a bar to Villa Migelita because I believe in my abilities. If you don’t try you will never know what you can accomplish. No one is entitled to success, so you must look for ways to find it.
  9. Be happy with what you have. If you have food on the table, clothes on your back, a place to live, then you are doing pretty well considering there are people all over the world who can barely get by. Choose simplicity and try to appreciate what you have instead of wanting more.
  10. Stop being a material person, our lives are defined by not what we have but what we go after. A sense of accomplishment is the best gift you can give yourself.
  11. Travel more, experience a different culture, learn a new language!
  12. Get the drama out of your life! I have stopped anything that can lead to negativity in my own personal space. What a relief it is not to have it around me. Even when I feel hurt by another person’s actions I try not to react.
  13. Have a plan for your future, a vision. It will get you through tough times!

So there you have some of my thoughts on the last year. I have learned from my past and can talk about my future like it has already happened. I have learned to trust myself and the decisions I make without need of anyone’s opinion. I have used the struggles from my past to shape my future. Sometimes taking a risk is worth the journey.

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A New Bar at Villa Migelita

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/photo-challenges/oops/”>Oops!</a&gt;

Everyone who follows my blog knows I live in Colombia, South America and own a Bed and Breakfast called Villa Migelita. I opened it last year and we are doing pretty good without a lot of advertising besides my Facebook page , Twitter, and Instagram account. I never post oops pictures because of my business, all has to look great of course!

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Before anything was done at Villa Migelita
Villa Migelita photos 002
Villa Migelita in 2015

Villa Migelita is adding a bar next week. I have a partner who is a designer. He has made my farm into a beautiful place. We were recently featured in International Livings Incomes Abroad 2015 ( scroll to page 8), and it was an honor! So now business is picking up and it is time to not just be a house but a real hotel! We are quaint and cozy. Guests wander the grounds and our house freely. I have even woken up at 5 AM to smell coffee being made in the kitchen by a guest. I love it! They feel “mi casa es su casa” and it is true, my house is their house. We offer very personal service to our guests. The way Villa Migelita looked when I first bought her was a place with potential. It has been four years of constant work and updates.

Yesterday we went looking for wood for the new bar. It has to be in keeping with the plan and design of my house which is  minimalist. The bar will be simple but functional. I took some pictures yesterday at the place I had bought furniture before, but they weren’t ‘post worthy’ …LOL. I stayed in the truck because it saves me money. If I am seen, gringa that I am, the price can go up significantly. I took some photos from my vantage point and they were not great, but I am going to show them.

As you can see it is not pretty nor can you tell how beautiful the furniture will be.

Therefor, I share a photo from my house of what this old wood turns into. I must add because I am a nature person and do not believe in cutting trees down for no reason this furniture is very old, thousands of years old to be correct. They dig into the ground for old tree trunks that have died and fallen by themselves. Perhaps through mudslides, or rotting but not just taken down for no reason. I see this often on my hikes here in Colombia. These last photos are a preview of the furniture and how it looks when I have a good picture.

So next up is the bar, which I will share at some later date. Just for grins I will show you the empty spot where the bar will be. It is another photo just for me, but since you want oops here it is. Empty space for new bar

No photo shop, just the beauty that surrounds me. I am very excited to see it all put together. Maybe this is the start of another venture. Not just a bed and breakfast but a place for Colombians to spend a bit of time and dance a little salsa.

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Image tagged in gifs

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

via Image tagged in gifs.

Merry Hummingbird Christmas from Villa Migelita! We have hummingbirds year round. Come visit beautiful Colombia and stay with us at Villa Migelita. We are a personalized Bed and Breakfast with superior service to our guests. Relax and enjoy our hummingbirds while being surrounded by nature and mountains. If adventure travel is your idea of a good time you will love it here! We have many fun tourist activities that we can share with you, along with a Spanish/English speaking guide. Book today for the holidays. Click this link  to see the Gif I made of one of my many hummingbirds!