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The Unpopular Move

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/unpopular/”>Unpopular</a&gt;

A problem that many take part in which can be easily rectified is bending to what appears to be the popular choice of what is societal standards.  Communal standards are established by following the crowd; of which many engage in. I gave in to that lifestyle when married to both of my husbands. I was always so worried about what others thought of me. However, to be content in life we need to let go of what we think our life is supposed to be based on societal standards, and look inside ourselves for how life should be based on our own approach. We have the power inside ourselves to find our destiny. Not completely of course, but at least to a certain extent. We must challenge ourselves. It is that simple.

When I moved to Colombia, I surprised many people, but more than that they were judgmental. I found myself more alone than ever before in my life, which is interesting when you delve into this subject. Why do so many people feel they have a say in someone’s decisions in life? Is this societal behavior or something else? Here I was bereft from a horrible divorce and loss of a child, yearning for change, but I encountered really bad reactions to my decision. They were subtle, but definitely there. I had friends of many years ignore my emails I would write from Colombia telling them of my adventures and happiness. People who were like family to me. They just didn’t answer me. It was hurtful. They judged me, even when they knew what I had gone through for almost three years. That is the most interesting part of my unpopular move. They knew if I had stayed and found a house in Florida, my life would not have changed, it would have remained the same. It would have been a continuation of the hell I had gone through. Yet, they felt that was the best way for me to live my life?

I based my decision to move on many factors, but the most important one was I needed to find me again. I could have stayed in Florida and done nothing to better my lifestyle, and conformed to others opinions or move to a new country and follow my dream of opening up a bed and breakfast. A dream that had not really taken shape, but it was there inside of me, deep inside with a solid foundation of anticipation. I had to remind myself of this over and over during the past years. I did not want mediocrity, a life waiting for others to change while I stood by and watched. I wanted to live. I had learned in a very hard way life is short when my daughter was murdered. I knew that I no longer could stand by and wait for others to come to my way of thinking. I just did what I needed to do for me. It didn’t fit in to others thought processes. I understand that. I really took a wild leap into the unknown. But it was my wild leap, just a short 3 and 1/2 hour flight from where I used to live. If I had moved back to Newport, Rhode Island where I lived when I married my first husband I imagine it would have been more acceptable, and a lot farther away. It would take me twice the time to get there from South Florida, then coming from South America. But it was acceptable to the standards of those who felt for some unknown reason they should have a say in what I should do for my future life. I image that moving with a guy who was younger than me also played into the detriment surrounding my move also.

Now here I am in Colombia which just made the list of Forbes Coolest Places to Visit for 2016. I have been in two articles, one in Yahoo Finance and the other in International Living Incomes Abroad and my Bed and Breakfast called Villa Migelita is open and running. I have regular guests and am meeting new people who have enriched my life. I have learned Spanish. I have continued my dream without worry of others opinions nor suggestions. My unpopular move has turned out to be just the thing I needed to do, not only for myself, but for troubled relationships with those people in my life who were wounded during a very difficult time. I have found that time and patience brought me what I needed to heal. I stopped thinking about what could go wrong, and started thinking about all the things that could go right. Is my future certain? No. Of course not, we can never have a perfect life. I understand that from my past. I just know I have made the best out of a situation that was going in the wrong direction, and I am happy I did. It has turned out well for me, and for that I am grateful. I will never know what the future will bring to me, but I am making the best out of my present moments. That is all we can do in this life, make the most of what is given to us, and then move forward from there.

 

 

 

 

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Choose Your Adventure.”

When she bought the farm she had no idea how much land she actually owned. She knew the little church in her pueblo was on her land. There was a legend often repeated by towns folk. They said there was gold buried by the Indians on her land. Sometimes at night when all was quiet she would hear strange sounds like a door opening, or knocking, but she dismissed it as the wind and an overactive imagination. She liked the mystery that surrounded her home.

One night it was really stormy, the basement entry was left open and she could hear the door blow open and creak from the rusty hinges. She heard her dogs howling. The wind was making the curtains blow in her bedroom. She got up to close the windows, as the rain really started coming down in torrents. She saw a shadow run across the land. She knew it was nothing, probably an opossum, but with the dogs growling and whining she needed to investigate. Flashlight in hand she went out into the night. She felt no fear as life on the farm included storms, power outages, and sometimes storms that came out of nowhere. She just wanted to shut that creaking entrance-way to the basement and go back to bed.

She could hear that door moving as she approached the basement. The dogs were all around her, and there was no reason for fear…her dogs were her mighty protectors. She entered the basement and flipped the light switch. Nothing happened. Now, there was no electricity and the storm grew stronger. She entered the basement although she just needed to close the door. The flashlight led her and she saw an opening she had never seen before. There was a passageway that looked like stairs going down. She put the light from her flashlight on this space. She knew better, but she had to descend. She found herself in a tunnel. She knew she was crazy but kept walking along a dark pathway. Her dogs were behind her. She started to ascend. She was at a trap door; which she pushed and it opened! She shown her light around and she was inside the church that was on her land! The opening was the storage area of the church, and a key was plainly visible. “Where does this key fit?” she wondered. She grabbed the key and ran back down the passageway as she now felt frightened. The key clutched in her hand. She re-entered the basement. There in front of her was a sight that was unexpected…it was like the basement had shifted. It was no longer storage for her suitcases and old clothes. It was a city that was from a time past, a place that looked nothing like the world she lived in. There was a church with an old wooden door, the door was incredible with inlaid carvings. There was a keyhole. She wondered if the key she held tightly in her hand would fit. She walked over and put the key in the door: it turned and clicked. She pushed the wood slightly, and she watched as the door opened to a magnificent room filled with light. Her being felt lighter, her heart pumped rapidly. She saw sights she never thought she could see in her life. “Was this a dream, or did she enter Paradise?” She saw people from her past, some dead, some still alive, but they were in front of her at this moment. She wondered how she became entwined inside this time warp. There were her parents, her daughter, a friend she knew had died too young. There also were people from her present world, they were still alive. They all were smiling and trying to talk to her. The sounds came out as melodic, like a choir of angels singing, but she couldn’t really hear what they were saying to her. Then she was given a letter, she was able to understand every voice at once: “Burn this after you read it!” She took the letter and all the glorious sounds disappeared. She was standing in the basement once again surrounded by suitcases. The letter was in her hand.

A Key to the Past