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Can a Person be Misplaced?

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I went to the United States recently and immediately found myself ‘misplaced’. I gave my debit card to the cashiers when checking out a purchase, while they looked at me as if I was from another planet. I took so long to pump my gas another guy paid for my pump and I had to go inside with him to straighten out the purchase. I found myself saying good day to everyone when I entered an office to not even get a response, I was not fitting into the world over there! I am now officially a misplaced person in the United States!

I moved to Colombia in 2011 with no knowledge of Spanish and a dream. My life is my truth now, but apparently I am not good with the evolution that continues to overtake society in the United States. I can now speak Spanish but I cannot understand life as I used to know it anymore. There are too many uncertainties and no guarantees. I found myself constantly missing my glass walled bedroom in Colombia and Netflix. I hated the constant barrage of negativity spewed out from the television, I noticed that a lot of homes I visited were dark and without light streaming inside their homes. I need light! I have my doors open and a breeze flowing constantly at Villa Migelita. People who are part of my family disappointed me. It seems that no one is more important than their own self.  A member of my family asked me whom I was leaving Villa Migelita to! When I answered honestly, insults and really bad words said like they were a normal part of every day conversation! It seems as if polite society is no longer in existence.

snowman
Snow for a part of the day in Newport, RI

I realize I have become mentally strong. Even though there were horrible things happening while I visited the USA, I was able to keep focused on what I have accomplished and will continue to carry out. I did have some wonderful moments while visiting and I enjoyed them so much. Making a snowman with my granddaughter was so special. Seeing my best friend and laughing so hard I cried was wonderful. Making memories with my granddaughter is always lovely, but the other stuff…that stuff she has to endure while I live my life unable to do anything is truly heartbreaking. I have come to realize you can only try your best in life and after that you have no control. Mental strength is knowing you can manage your emotions while others cannot. Mental strength is speaking up against things you see that are wrong, even when it disturbs others peace. Mental strength is revoking all that is wrong and saying so.  I have that now. I didn’t when I moved to Colombia.

So now I am back in my home in the mountains of Colombia, enjoying my life and my solitude. I have much I wish I could change about what I experienced while in the United States recently. I can’t so I accept that. I know what matters and what does not. I have made a bit of a dent in some problems but not a great one. I have made new friends and have shown that I am a person of integrity to many. I practice gratitude every single day. I am mindful of what matters and what doesn’t. If I have learned anything from my visit to the USA is that I have truly become a different person than I was when I left and moved to Colombia. I have detached myself from taking things personally and I say what I mean. I focus on the positive, even if the best does not always happen. That is who I am now. If that makes me displaced then I am doing something right.