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Learning to Accept the Unknown


Growing in life is what we should all focus on. We need to accept that we can never control our lives, how it might turn out or where we will end up. I have become pretty good at just waking up in the morning and seeing what each day will bring since I moved to Colombia. I really try to put an effort into keeping my past and my future from my thoughts because the past is gone and the future is unknown. This way of living takes practice and strength. When a great tragedy unfolds in your life, whatever it may be, you can use it to gain knowledge and use that knowledge to better yourself. I have found that I can carry my sadness with me and still live a happy life. We all have sadness in our lives. I always say to people who speak about my daughter’s death and their heartache for me ” I am not the only person in this world who has suffered great loss.” We all have burdens we bear. Each morning when I awake I meditate a bit before I get on with the day. Sometimes the pain I feel from life experiences is hard, but I allow it to flow freely in my thoughts, then I let it go. Misha, Amaya and I I remember times of joy in my meditations and then I allow that joy to stay in my heart.

I have spoken in my past blogs about the spiritual connection I have felt with my daughter. It is something that happens and I never know when. As I write this blog I am in the United States to get the Visa required to live in Colombia. I find when I return it is very hard to get to the spiritual place I am in when surrounded by the beauty of Colombia. I resume the way I used to live, writing lists, running errands, meeting with my many great friends, and my peaceful morning meditations fall to the wayside. Sometimes I get a much needed reminder that Misha is with me and it stops me in my tracks. Recently this happened while I was with my granddaughter here in the States. I feel that I need to share this story with my readers because it will make you realize no matter who you are that your loved ones are surrounding you even when they leave the physical Earth. It will make you ponder your beliefs if you are a doubter or really have never given it much thought.

I recently went to Islamorada, Florida for the day with my partner’s mother, a dear friend, her son and my granddaughter. The day actually started before I even got in the car because of a post I made on my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/VillaMigelita. I had written I was so busy that I was not finding the time to write my blog. I also said I was going to Key Largo with my granddaughter to feed the Tarpon. One of my followers has a beautiful resort there The Chesapeake Resort and was generous with an offer for us to stop for lunch and stay the night. I had never met her, but always enjoyed her comments on my flower photos, I felt a connection. I actually put her phone number in my phone and had every intention of calling her, even though I did not think I would have time to meet up. Well, life had different plans for me, the day became a wonderful journey in my life with a final message from my daughter.Amaya feeding the Tarpon

As we fed the fish my friend and I discussed where we were going for lunch. I told her that I needed to call a Facebook follower when we arrived at the restaurant because I really felt a connection with her. I don’t even know why I told Hilary this, it just came into my thoughts. We finished up and since we had brought two cars, the children came in my car and Hilary and Maria drove in front to the restaurant. As we entered the parking lot of Lazy Days I saw a woman helping an older woman walk to her car. Hilary parked next to them and I saw them all talking. I preceded to get out of my car with the rambunctious kids and walk up to them. Imagine my surprise to find out that this woman was the follower from my FB page! Hilary knew her through her husband and they quickly realized I was Villa Migelita because Hil told her she was in the Keys with her friend from Colombia. I was flabbergasted, and realized right then and there this was not a coincidence. We made plans to go down the road after lunch to her resort to let the children swim and for me to get to know Ilona.

As we entered the resort I was struck by the beauty of her spectacular place. I was already thinking why the day was unfolding this way, but I accept these things now and go with them. We all started talking about the meeting, how it was so unusual and it was like I had known Ilona for years. She asked me if Amaya was Polynesian or perhaps Hawaiian? My granddaughter has a mixed background and her slanted eyes can make someone think that. I did not know the reason for her inquiry until the very end of the day that this was the beginning of my daughter’s message to me. We continued to the pool area and went on to have the greatest time together. Ilona talked us into staying the night, with us getting up early for our drive back to Broward County. We ended up with the kids swimming and going into the hot tub and using the picnic lunch we had packed for the day as dinner. My granddaughter fell asleep on my lap while us ladies continued talking and getting to know one another. Ilona mentioned several times to Amaya that she needed to see the mermaid in the Tiki hut.Amaya

When Amaya fell asleep Ilona still was adamant that we see this mermaid. I was thinking all the time that the mermaid would be a sculpture or carving. When Amaya stirred I asked if she felt like walking over see the mermaid. My companions had decided to go the rooms to get ready for bed. As we wondered over Ilona kept saying how special this was going to be. We walked up the stairs and there she was the beautiful mermaid lit by lights, and alone in her glory. The mermaid was a gorgeous oil painting. My hair stood up on my arms as I said “this is Amaya when she is older!”. It was surreal as the day became clear to me. Misha directed me to this painting. She wanted me to know she is with me whenever I have her daughter. I could not sleep that night because I felt electricity flowing through my veins from this truly spiritual experience. I now know Misha surrounds and protects us both more than I ever did before.The Mermaid

I ran back to get Hilary and Maria. I needed them to see her. They both came without me telling them my thoughts and said the same the minute they saw the beautiful painting. It was an experience that all of us shared that day. It is one that we will always be connected by. No matter your thoughts, there is no denying that mermaid is Amaya. The same lips together half smile that my daughter and granddaughter share, the slanted eyes, the nose and shape of the face. This experience gave me so much comfort about my daughter’s death and where she is now, and much needed love that I still feel from Misha, who is always with me where ever I am.

The final blessing of the day was when Ilona knocked on the door of our suite and brought a copy of the painting to me. I have plans to frame it and place it in my office that looks out upon the beautiful mountains of Colombia and my daughter’s final resting place. I now know Amaya will be looking too, with the eyes of a mermaid.

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Author:

I am an American who moved to Colombia to find peace after the devastating loss of my daughter. I bought and renovated a Villa, am learning Spanish, and writing as catharsis. This blog will be like my book with chapters. Each blog will be about my life and adventures. I hope you will enjoy the many new discoveries I am making every day about myself and another culture.

18 thoughts on “Learning to Accept the Unknown

  1. Wow…And yes, I felt it too! This glorious experience unraveled so beautifuly, and in a short period of time. Then the” grand finale”..seeing Amaya mermaid, at the age of Misha!!”Everything Beautiful..Happens in “HIS” Time.We just have to be aware…and Grateful. We are all connected.Thank you Girls….until our paths cross again, Aloha,with Love,..Ilona

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  2. What a beautiful story. Nothing is a coincidence and we are all connected……even those that are no longer with us here in this plane. Your friend, Ilona, is a spiritual friend that who knows how you two are previously connected. It is fascinating how the painting is your grandaughter’s image as an older mermaid. Yes, your daughter is with you in your spiritual path. Thank you for sharing.

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  3. Oh yeah!! this has been a nice experience a very blessed day, still amazed to see such nice surprises in one day. I know your daughter is with you.

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  4. One can feel these things..when connected to the love of the sea at an early age..wandering among the sea flats and observing the innate humor in these creatures behaviors….It is so very precious ..and amazing! Children get it.
    Ilona

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  5. This day was very special and will forever be a memory that I hope continues with Amaya telling it to her children someday. Life gives us many challenges but also gives us many gifts. I cherish and treasure those gifts more than ever now.

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  6. I don’t know the story, Michele, of how you lost your daughter – but this posting brought such tears to my eyes. That painting looks exactly like your granddaughter and that you could *hear* your daughter’s message to you is awesome. You inspire HOPE through your posting your journey. Thank you for sharing.

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  7. Wow …amazing conformations about our interconnectedness .. simultaneously – in all dimensions..
    Very heart warming….did anyone ask Joan how did she receive her vision for her painting? Dear Michele what blessing to have such soothing confirmation .. You are loved .. Your story is a perfect piece in the Big Picture that You have allowed to have glimpse of .. Thank You for sharing .. and thank You Dear Ilona for sharing Your Beautiful Self with All of Us .. yes the FB is an Amazing Connecting Place .. ♡♥♡

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  8. Not Forgotten..Our birth is but asleep and a forgetting. The soul that rises with us,..our life star,..has had elsewhere its setting, and cometh from afar…../..not in complete forgetfulness, not in utter nakedness,..but trailing clouds of glory do we come fro God—-our Home.( William Wordsworth)

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  9. I feel a connection with Michele in the loss of her precious daughter! for I too have lost something that is still precious to me! My wife of 22 years who died in 1991 of colon cancer! Not quite as tragic as with Michele’s loss of her daughter! but to me nonetheless a tragedy! for I was left with 3 children on my hands – two of them are handicapped! and now here I was! What I am going to do? Hyo Ji and I met and it was love at first sight! She was Korean – born in Japan (Of all places!) and once I saw her! I said to myself! “This is the girl I am going to marry!” and I did! I thank God that overall he gave me to her for 22 wonderful years! sure we have had our ups and downs as couple do! but to me it was more of a joy to have her by my side! I was proud to walk down the street with her holding my hand and I hers! for back in those days – interracial marriage was very frown upon! She gave me 3 wonderful children – and God gave me 2 handicapped children for he knew I would be able to take care of them! Now my oldest John is with a group home (he has cerebral Palsy!) and Michael my lovely son has now married a lovely lady named Emily and now they have a wonderful boy named Bennett! and Patricia is also handicapped but well taken care of! I was able to travel to many countries and have many wonderful experiences to tell my grandkids whenever they want to sit and listen! I have always felt Hyo Ji being near me and my children! I feel her presence in many places! sometimes I swear she takes on other forms and comes to me knowing that I know it’s her! She was Buddhist! and I was Christian! but none of that mattered! for we love each other like there was no tomorrow! I thank God that I was able to share this wonderful women for 22 years! a short time – but a wonderful time! Saying all of this! I share your pain – although perhaps not the same – but it is a share loss of a loved one! And I feel a keenship with you! We are all connected on this Earth and on the next plane of existence! I love what you are doing! Time does heal all wounds! but the mark is still there! to remind us to Never Ever Forget! I love your blog! I love your voyage of discovery in Columbia! Stay Strong! for we are all Unique!

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