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The Learning Curve

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I have had a  little hummingbird rescue for a month now. I had no idea what I was doing when I first had him in my care. I had put a towel down in the cage. That is a big NO! He has the tiniest feet as you can see and they can get caught in a towel and can be ripped off. I contacted a wonderful page on Facebook called The Hummingbird Whisperer and was given great advice, except for one rehab specialist who said I had to put him down because of his bad wing. A major drama unfolded: especially since I am not in the United States. I looked for someone to put Grigio down and no one answered me. We have so many hummingbirds in Colombia all year round, no one cares about just one little guy.

I took in all of the advice I was given and did what the experts said (except for killing him). I removed the towel and put paper towels in his cage. I added smashed up insects to his sugar-water. That is not something I enjoy at all! But we have a lot of insects in the Rainforest and he is drinking his water full of mash-up and is getting plenty of protein which is the main staple of the hummingbird diet.

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Grigio the very first day I rescued him.

Grigio  is doing very well, but he is still not free. I strive to let him go to fly with his friends. He has a wing that is damaged. I carry him everywhere in his little cage. He sometimes holds on to the sides of the cage like he is in prison, reminding me of movies where an inmate grips the bars in misery.

I have a parrot named Luci whom I rescued when she was about 2 months old. Parrots are so social and always in the middle of things going on around them. She has clipped wings but has free run of my farm. She climbs the rose bushes and enters the house. She follows the dogs everywhere, and she shows off for my tourists here at Villa Migelita. She is the mascot of birds here at my Bed and Breakfast!

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I see you

With Grigio it is different.  He is not a way for me to give entertainment on my page Villa Migelita. Luci is a rescue, but she lives a very happy life. I am not so sure with Grigio. Seriously, hummingbirds are not really social birds. Hummingbirds fight each other constantly, and none seem to have any bond with others. Perhaps he is fine in his cage with his personal feeder. I can’t tell except when he does that prison break-out move that really freaks me out! I can’t let him go, he cannot fly!

He has become a part of me. I know that is probably not the correct way to view things if you are an actual rehab specialist with birds, or for that matter any animal. I just identify with him so much. He is broken but trying to mend himself. I understand that. I am broken inside. I have been a cracked, collapsed, busted mess for years … ever since my daughter was murdered. I know about feeling imprisoned. I feel that almost everyday of my life. I struggle many days with sadness…but I make myself go out and walk, exercise, Yoga, write, read, study! You name it, I try to do it. So Grigio is a piece of me. His will to live is exactly like my will to live despite horrific life circumstances. So I say “You go Grigio, I have your back! You have a home in my Paradise here at Villa Migelita always”

Every night I put this special ‘gift’ to bed. He sleeps like we do…who knew? He goes to bed at 7 pm and I hear the little whir of his wings at 6 am. I always smile to myself. I wonder if he is a gift from beyond. He is certainly defying all odds. With that I say he is with me now, and I am letting him live each day in the moment. I do the same. I realize that is all we have in life, and so does Grigio.

 

 

 

 

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Rarity in Nature

I am surrounded by nature. I never know what is going to show up around me. It is a delightful way to live. I come from South Florida. I remember growing up in a middle class neighborhood with a lo…

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Posted in Colombian life, hummingbirds, nature, Nature, photo challenge

Rarity in Nature

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I am surrounded by nature. I never know what is going to show up around me. It is a delightful way to live. I come from South Florida. I remember growing up in a middle class neighborhood with a lot of empty lots that all of us neighborhood kids would explore. Many a time we would come home with scrapes, bites or bloody knees. I love to reminisce about my times in the Smoky Mountains with my children every summer. I am a nature gal. I started young and I have never lost the wonder I feel when I see some new insect, bird, flower, views of the mountains, anything related to nature.

There is so much to be seen when you are looking for good photos. I am no longer the person who finds spiders creepy, bees scary, and insects gross. I find them all to be a much-needed part of our ecosystem. I respect all life. I wrote about my new rescue here at Villa Migelita in my last blog; a hummingbird who has a hurt wing. He is still with me after three weeks and that in of itself is rare. Hummingbirds need protein, which I hopefully am supplying by crushing insects into his sugar-water. It must be working because he is still alive. His wing is still unhealthy as you can see. But he is a fighter.

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Grigio on a rare Jade Orchid

This spider is a common Cross Garden species..but I love this photo. He looks so intimidating.

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Normal Garden Spider

What about the birds I see daily? Sometimes I am lucky enough to get a good shot. The wonder I feel when I see a rare Toucan still keeps me captivated. I never have my camera when I need it, but I get to enjoy rare sightings of many birds every single day.

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Vermilion Fly Catcher

Colombia has the most species of birds in the world and is the second most bio-diverse country in the world. I have settled in the perfect place to satisfy my nature needs.

Rare in nature can be completely defined by this one butterfly:  Diaethria neglecta, a very rare phenomenon of nature.

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The #89 butterfly on my screen

When you visit Colombia, you never know what will show up. A Preying Mantis, an insect I have no idea what the name is but it is a flying leaf!

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A leaf insect

I no longer am afraid, I just wish I knew what they all did to help our planet. Because they are all part of a very intricate ecosystem called our world. We need to protect and defend each one in any way that we can.

 

 

 

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I Can See His Eyelashes

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Maybe he will live, maybe his wing will heal, maybe I will find redemption in his perfect little being. Maybe none of the above will happen. But I do know he wants to live. I have never cared so long for a hummingbird, except for one that was a tiny baby and you can read about that experience here.

This is Grigio and I am obsessed with his eyelashes. I never realized hummingbirds have them. He does. They make me melt with love. They move my soul. They are why I didn’t listen to the ‘experts’ and did what I wanted to do to help this young hummingbird. His eyes with those tiny eyelashes.

He was dead yesterday when I went to his cage in the morning. I am serious. He was dead. I pulled his lifeless body out from behind his little nest. He was on his back, legs in the air. He was not living anymore. I stroked his head. I told him he was a fighter, and then I detected a small movement. I was sure I was imagining it. I put his tiny beak to the feeder and he moved again. I knew he was coming back to life. One minute more and he would be gone, along with the hope that I attached to him. I will admit he means more to me than I can explain: but I will try.

To me Grigio represents a part of me that will never give up. He is me, I am him. He continues to live despite all the odds. I am like that myself. I am thriving despite the obstacles that are in my way.

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Grigio in his cage until I can release him

I thrive despite the sadness of my past, I thrive from the lessons I have learned from life, I thrive from the delicate balance of life I have lived and the life of my future. I thrive despite all that is thrown at me. Just as Grigio continues to flourish. I do too. It is not something I think about, nor does he. It just is who I am. I am a fighter, so is he. Perhaps, this is a message to me from beyond. I believe in signs.

Grigio is pervasive, he is right there by me in the morning..he is my sign to fight for what I want to achieve. He is my symbol of life and perseverance. He is my light at the end of the tunnel, he is what I believe to be real. He is a miracle. I want to be a miracle to myself. Maybe, just maybe he will be that for me.

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The angel that sits where my daughter is buried

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Let Your Morning Become Your Soul

My morning is about my animals. I have dogs, cats, a parrot and two ducks. They are always waiting for me to come down in the morning to feed them. They have a routine, and that routine is part of …

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Let Your Morning Become Your Soul

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My morning is about my animals. I have dogs, cats, a parrot and two ducks. They are always waiting for me to come down in the morning to feed them. They have a routine, and that routine is part of me. I never sleep in since my daughter passed away, and it is with great pleasure when I look outside and see them waiting. My dogs have their own house with their dog beds to sleep in at night. My parrot has a cage with the door always open. All my animals live a free life. My ducks are even there in the morning reminding me they need corn in their bowl. They are all part of my soul here at Villa Migelita. It is delightful for my guests to sit and have breakfast while my parrot Luci sits outside on the window looking in at us. She is quite social and puts on quite a show for everyone who visits. She loves to be part of everything.

My mornings are my favorite time of day. I feel the vibrancy of all life and the Universe through the love of my pets. They uplift me, they give me my will to make myself a better person. I try with every part of my being to live up to what they share with me, unconditional love. Nature and all that it offers is part of my spirit. Nature and animals define me. I live to feel their love. With that I sign off with the requisite picture of the sunrise, but one that is amazing. A hummingbird in the sky.

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A hummingbird in the sky for all to see.
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May Peace be with You

I’m sitting on this Sunday after exercising and doing my Yoga and all I can hear is the sounds of my hummingbird’s attacking each other. They are posed for fight, tails spread. Their so…

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Posted in hummingbirds, Uncategorized

May Peace be with You

I’m sitting on this Sunday after exercising and doing my Yoga and all I can hear is the sounds of my hummingbird’s attacking each other. They are posed for fight, tails spread. Their sounds of hitting each other while their wings rapidly flutter is  a constant whir in my consciousness. They are relentless. I’m just relaxing and trying to read, but I cannot because I’m endlessly fascinated by their behavior. They never let up. They are little gangs of brutality and beauty.Looking up 008

I have hummingbirds year round. The many species I have interact and accept each other as best they can. I’m an impartial observer. That is why I find them so interesting. Sometimes they drink from my feeders without much fighting, but today that is not the case. They all are militant like fighter jets bombing the enemy. My presence so near is not even acknowledged. They are going for the feeders like it is their last meal.

As I am distracted by them, I have a lot of thoughts running through my brain. They actually remind me of how people are responding to this presidential campaign going on now in the United States. They are ready to kill for the nectar, just as people are ready to give up friends and family for their beliefs about this election.

Maybe I have mellowed in my life since I’ve moved to Paradise, but one thing I have learned is you are not going to change anyone to your way of thinking. Just like my hummers. They are not going to stop fighting for their time at the feeders, taking that precious sip of nectar. Let it go. Vote your choice and be done with it. Hopefully, the world will survive just like my very aggressive hummingbirds and we will find something else to be scandalized about.

Me, well I’m aggrieved that there is no true fairness in this world. Some people win and some people lose. I lost in my quest to get the murderer of my daughter in jail. It breaks my heart, and there are many just like me who have not seen justice. We go on. Just like those hummingbirds who fight every single day for the chance to drink the nectar. Let your life become about good things, peaceful things, happiness. Stop trying to make everyone see it your way. It’s not important. What is important is being a good human.

Sometimes my hummingbirds are peaceful with each other, they sit nicely while they all feed together. Let us try to be that way with our lives. They often sit peacefully together drinking nectar and flying off to rest on a branch.  My home is a place of peace where the hummingbirds entertain and amuse all who visit.  I’m certain they are not worried about the other species, sizes, sex , or colors of those they battle with to get the feeders to themselves. Maybe, just maybe, us humans should look to nature more often. The fighting seems to be a bit more fair. No prejudice involved, just wanting to have a place to feed. That is why I have so many feeders: I give them all an even chance. What they do with that chance is a decision they make. What happens in this world is kind of like the hummingbirds, it is all out of our control even when we want so much to have the control. Just do your part and vote. Then let it go. Don’t lose friends over this. It is not worth it.Looking up 031

I’ve come to the conclusion we all think differently. We have brains that look at the exact same message and process it in completely different ways. If we only associate with those who think exactly like us, what do we learn? I’m all for freedom of speech, but I remember my mother and father always saying to me “politics and religion are not to be discussed with others ” and I have to agree. It is just not worth it. When I was younger I didn’t know what any of my friends believed. Because we were just having fun and liked each other for the people we were.

I’m certain we can choose to do this again. With social media it is difficult: but you can stop the hate by posting good things, happy things on the Internet. If you are offended bite your tongue, let it go. Let peace become your way of life, not hate. Hate never wins, even when you are seeing so much of it. Just let it go. Let peace be with you.

 

Posted in child death, Colombian life, Perfection and Peace, Uncategorized

A Thin Line

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Life isn’t a narrow path upon which we walk in a certain direction. Life is curves and loops, a winding road to a quest which is impossible to predict. We can try our hardest to obtain our desires, but then something changes and so do we. We have to adapt to what is given to us.

We can take any direction, thinking it is the right one. But along comes a bump and that deviation changes everything forever. What we get is often not what we expect nor what we have planned for. We need to adapt. We need to think broadly in terms of our future. We can’t be limited in our observations of life and the world. We must be open to all possibilities.

There are lines we should not cross, immoral ones. Those are the exceptions. We have to stay true to our own moral compass and find our own truths. But we cannot follow a thin line. To follow that line without an ability to change is to become stuck without  experiencing everything you need to see in a life that can be way too short.

If we look at life in such a way that we know it is fleeting, then we can expand and grow. We can find ourselves even when we feel everything is falling apart. Because we are

First Visit to Colombia
Having fun driving in the mountains!

the future, we have free will.

That is how I have adapted to the death of my daughter. I know she had free will. I was not responsible for her choices as she matured. I did my best, but I am still haunted. I always will be. I will never know if I could have changed the outcome. I will always think about the thin line.

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Details in Life

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One of the most amazing natural details I have ever seen is this leaf. It is called Christ’s Tears or Las lágrimas de Cristo in Spanish.

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This leaf is a plant called Christ’s Tears

A phenomenon of natural beauty and elegance that surprises with the intricate detail that is on the leaf.

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One tiny duck one gentle dog
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Peaking over a bucket

Animals can show us so much  detail with their simplicity and kindness. The eyes have it all.

Raindrops on a rose. Detail that is lovely and calming at the same time.

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One rose

With all that happens in our lives, we need to take a moment to look at the essence of the familiar that surrounds us. We need to embrace the beauty of normalcy. We need to let ourselves find joy wherever we can.

When I hike I see so much I can never capture in a photograph. I try. But the reality is you need to get outside and just look around. Let the moment you see something incredible stop you in your tracks. Take that moment and live it. Stamp it in your memory. Then you will understand the details of life.