Love Bombed, Maybe: The Moment I Started Paying Attention (Part 2)

The Love Bombed, Maybe Series

Some relationships don’t fall apart all at once. Sometimes the cracks appear quietly, in small moments you try to ignore.

If you’re new here, I recommend reading my first blog in this series, “Love Bombed, Maybe.” Please click the link to read it and subscribe by email if you haven’t yet. In this post, I’m sharing more about my experience with love bombing and some new insights. Love bombing doesn’t always look the same. Some people go all out with gifts and compliments, but my experience was different, even though a lot of what I’ve read still applies. After the relationship ended, he still hovered on my social media stories and even replied to my last blog post on Facebook. He commented that my memories didn’t align with his. We had agreed to keep things off social media, but now that I’ve shared my story, he’s made himself known. I don’t think he liked my criticism, but I stand by what I wrote and will keep calling him LB. If he wants to comment again, that’s up to him. My thoughts come from notes I keep on my phone, and I haven’t exaggerated anything. Our relationship was still new, but I felt like the new-love feeling was fading. After he left Colombia, he became distant with delayed responses in our text chats. I’ll talk more about that later, since it connects to the patterns love bombers exhibit. For me, it was a signal to reassess the relationship. Life is too short to let anyone disturb your peace.

In my last blog, I mentioned how LB was rude during a meal at a restaurant when my son had joined us, making little effort to connect and keeping his headphones in. This was the start of his trip to visit me in Colombia. After dinner, we went home to pack for a two-day trip to Nevada del Ruiz. I love exploring new parts of Colombia, especially places known for biodiversity. The drive from my area, Valle del Cauca, is long. I was looking forward to a break from my glamping business. I decided not to dwell on the night before or LB’s behavior around my son. I was beginning to see a pattern with him, and it always occurred when others were around. I try to live by the idea that no one can take my peace unless I let them. Which includes starting drama, and my son had told me it wasn’t a big deal. I closed my place for two nights, and my son helped by checking out the current guests when we left. My best friend in Colombia, Alvaro, agreed to drive us on the five-hour trip. The drive was pleasant, with sunny weather. I had the back seat to myself, and LB chatted with Alvaro from time to time. I noticed LB seemed comfortable around him. Alvaro is a lot like me; he’s friendly with everyone. He met LB last year when he visited and drove him to different tourist spots.

When LB visited last year, he was a guest who paid to stay at my hotel and glamping place; he paid Alvaro to drive us on this vacation and cover all expenses. However, there was a huge difference this time. He was in Colombia to visit me and continue our relationship. LB wasn’t paying me to stay in my hotel. I had made the arrangements in advance for this trip after confirming that LB wanted to do it. Alvaro was super busy the week we left, but he did this as a favor to me. We made a quick stop in Buga along the way to pick up a crucifix of the Black Jesus, and then at other roadside places. It was not a hurried timeline. When it was time for lunch, we were near Salento, in the department of Quindío, where there is a shop with wonderful one-of-a-kind boots. I was there with my best friends in 2024 and bought boots. Alvaro reminded me and asked if I wanted to stop for an hour. I squealed with excitement, “Yes, I do!” We stopped, and LB said, ” Let me buy the boots for you for Christmas.” I allowed him to, but I was surprised that he came to see me without a Christmas present. His birthday was on the 16th in two days, and I had spent time ordering presents and arranging for my son to buy a birthday cake while I was on this road trip. I thought surely he had brought something else for me. I had also bought him Christmas presents. After the stop in Salento, we continued to Manizales, Colombia. We checked into the hotel and met downstairs later to go out and explore the town.

Manizales was decorated so beautifully, with colored lights and embellishments trimming every street and town square. The city glittered in the December night, and for a moment I let myself feel hopeful, as if the lights were sparkling promises just waiting to be kept. We hailed a cab to get to the trendy area where we decided to have dinner. When we were let out in this quaint neighborhood alive with people and holiday spirit, it truly felt like the magic of the season surrounded us. I felt the joy in the air and said, “Let’s go get a shot of tequila!” Alvaro, who never drinks because he is usually driving, decided to partake, too. We found a cute little bar and had a shot. There were so many different restaurants in the area, and we wandered by them until we found one we all liked. We got a table outside on a cozy little terrace along the street. We sat, and just like at lunch, LB sat across from me, and Alvaro sat next to me.

Alvaro and I have been friends for so long that we share food and talk without reservation. I explained in my last blog that LB doesn’t participate in conversation, and once again, he had his headphones in and his phone out. As the night went on, it dawned on me that the bright lights around us stood in sharp contrast to the growing shadow at our table. To be honest, it felt like I was on a date with Alvaro this particular night. We ordered another shot of tequila and looked at the menu together because we were sitting next to each other. We decided to share two dishes. LB was given an English menu, so I didn’t need to help him with translation. The tequila came, and we did a shot again, just as the waiter’s wife stopped by with their two dogs. One was a puppy, a Golden Retriever, and a Husky. They were beyond adorable. Alvaro is my favorite photographer, and he took pictures of me kissing and petting the dogs. Our meals came, and I really felt like the holidays were upon us that night. I wasn’t working at my hotel; I was just having fun with two men I loved. My boyfriend and my best friend. It was unfortunate, I thought, that my best friend was more engaged in this delightful evening than my boyfriend.

Alvaro and I shared our meals while LB listened to his phone. There it was again, the divide I always noticed, sitting right in front of me at the festive table. The conversation moved around him. The warmth between Alvaro and me seemed to highlight just how separate LB was, caught up in his own world. The food, the laughter, the energy of the night: all of it seemed to pass by him, untouched. I felt the absence growing, even as I did my best to ignore it. Alvaro and I ordered a dessert to share. He knows me so well that he said, “Michele, you know you don’t finish anything, so we will share.” The three of us finished our desserts and wandered the city a little more before taking a cab back to the hotel. We said goodnight to Alvaro, decided to meet at 8:30 for breakfast, and then drove to Nevada del Ruiz.