Category: life lessons

Posted in expat life, Flight attendant life, glamping colombia, Life after 50, life lessons, travel, Uncategorized

The Life I Never Planned

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise
Riding Honey, my cousin’s horse. I was around 14 or 15 years old.

My fifty-year high school reunion is coming up in November, and it has me thinking about my life. Where is everyone now? What have they done with the fifty years that slipped by in what feels like the blink of an eye?

When I need to make sense of something this big, I write.

When I graduated from high school, I did it on the sly. I skipped the whole cap-and-gown ceremony that fills social media feeds today. Instead, I quietly packed my bags, headed to Tallahassee, and enrolled at Florida State University. I wanted to graduate early and start college, so I did.

Just like that.

My parents, who always encouraged independence, trusted me enough to let me follow my own path. Looking back, I realize that moment set the tone for my life. When I decided to become a flight attendant, I did it. When I decided to move to Colombia decades later, I did that too.

Just like that.

Maybe that’s been the story of my life. I didn’t follow the expected path, but followed the one that felt right to me. As this reunion gets closer, I’m not just wondering where everyone else ended up. I also appreciate the unexpected road that brought me to exactly where I am today.

17 years old at Smith Hall …Florida State. It was the only dorm open when I entered FSU in the Spring semester of 1976. It was really ugly and looked like a prison.

While I was in college, I made good grades and did what my parents expected of me. But if I’m being honest, dancing was still the most important thing on my mind.

Saturday Night Fever had hit the theaters, and disco fever had taken over Florida State University. I spent my nights with a great group of friends dancing at Big Daddy’s, where we thought life would always be that carefree.

I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, so college was as much about growing up as it was about getting an education. More than anything, it was my first taste of freedom. After years of living with rules and expectations, being on my own felt like heaven.

Then life threw me a curveball.

I got sick, had to take an incomplete, and returned home. Surprisingly, I wasn’t worried. I figured I’d recover, work for a while, and head back to FSU. I took a job as a receptionist while I waited to re-enroll.

But my mother had other plans.

She suggested I apply to be a stewardess. Yes, that’s what we were called back then.

Little did I know that by spring, just after my twentieth birthday, I would be the youngest person in Delta Air Lines’ training class.

Sometimes the biggest chapters of our lives begin with someone else’s suggestion.

My classmates and our instructor at the Delta Air Lines graduation

At the time, there were only two airlines that hired flight attendants at age twenty, and Delta took me into its family. I applied the moment I was eligible, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Getting hired wasn’t easy. Even then, Delta was known for being incredibly selective, and earning a spot in a training class was something to be proud of. After surviving the rigorous training program, I traded textbooks for wings.

For the first time in my life, I was completely on my own. I was earning a good salary, traveling the country, and making my own decisions. It was the career I had dreamed about for as long as I could remember, and suddenly, I was living it.

Looking back, I realize that the seventeen-year-old girl who quietly left home for college had no idea she was about to begin the adventure that would shape so much of the next chapter of her life.

At the pool.  The apartments were a dump. We didn’t care. College Park was not pretty in 1978. Now it is very trendy.

Living with a house full of other “stews” in College Park, Georgia, was an adventure all its own. After training, we were all assigned to Delta’s Atlanta base, and suddenly, we were a bunch of twenty-somethings learning how to navigate adulthood while flying all over the country.

It was an exciting, unpredictable life.

I can still picture us lounging by the apartment pool on our days off, our beepers never far from reach. At any moment, one of them could go off, and we’d jump up, throw on our uniforms, grab the suitcases that were always packed, and head to the airport.

That was life on reserve.

We never knew where we’d be flying that day—or even if we’d make it back home that night. But at twenty years old, that uncertainty wasn’t stressful. It was exhilarating. Every beep held the promise of another adventure, another city, another story waiting to happen.

Japan.  I was mobbed by school kids because I was tall and had blue eyes. I felt like a celebrity. They would make me take my sunglasses off to take a photo of my eyes!

It was a wonderful way to earn a living because I had so much time off. Flying back then was very different from what it is today. It’s still an admirable profession with wonderful benefits, but the pace and the pressure have changed dramatically.

When I signed in for a trip during those first months, I was on reserve and usually paired with senior flight attendants who quietly continued my training. They showed us the little things you could never learn in a classroom; the tricks of the trade, how to handle every situation, and how to take care of passengers with confidence and grace.

Sometimes we’d end up in San Francisco. Other times it was Los Angeles. The really exotic layovers usually belonged to the senior “mamas,” but every trip was an adventure, and those experienced flight attendants took us junior newbies under their wings.

When I wasn’t flying, I was usually out with my friends, most of whom were flight attendants too. Let’s face it… it was one great big party, both in the air and on the ground.

With all that time off, I traveled whenever I could. Europe. Japan. New York City. Los Angeles. The world really was my oyster, and I couldn’t wait to see what was around the next corner.

Marriage wasn’t even on my radar. Adventure was.

And I had found it in a career I truly loved.

Europe.  Princess Diana stage of dressing

After Atlanta, I transferred to Miami. Once again, I found myself living in a questionable apartment complex this time it was in Kendall. But honestly, none of us cared. It was full of other flight attendants, close to all the trendy spots, and life revolved around flying and having fun.

We went out constantly. Flight attendants were welcome at all the best clubs, and we knew exactly which nights were the ones not to miss.

By then, I was finally holding a schedule called a “line” in airline lingo. Imagine getting paid to work only three or four days a week! Even better, we could bid trips with our friends, so many flights felt more like hanging out than going to work.

We really were our own bosses once those aircraft doors closed.

I still remember the excitement when the first L-1011 arrived at our Miami base. To us, it was pure luxury. It even had an elevator! The service carts glided effortlessly down the aisles, and on longer flights we’d serve full meals, complete with ice cream sundaes, fruit, and cheese. Cleanup was easy because everything stacked neatly back into the carts.

That was a far cry from my first flights on the DC-9. Back then, we carried heavy trays loaded with ice and drinks up and down the aisle, hoping the ride stayed smooth. If turbulence hit, it became a balancing act. We’d barely finish service before racing to our jump seats for landing.

The stretch DC-8 had its own challenges. We worked assembly-line style, passing trays down the aisle while someone in the galley shoved them back into narrow metal compartments as fast as they came in.

By the end of the flight, we’d often be wearing more barbecue sauce than the passengers had eaten.

Looking back, it wasn’t glamorous every minute of every day. It was hard work. But we were young, we loved what we were doing, and somehow even the messy days became some of my favorite memories.

Fast forward a few years, and my life was full of close friendships, much like it had been in high school. We bid our schedules together, flew together whenever we could, and spent our days off together. We were always doing something fun.

People often ask if I wanted to settle down back then. The truth is, I wasn’t in any hurry.

Looking back, I realize what an incredible lifestyle I had created for myself. I had a career I loved, enough seniority to enjoy a great schedule, wonderful friends, and the freedom to live life on my own terms. I didn’t need anyone else to build a good life.

My dad found me the perfect little studio apartment in Fort Lauderdale, it was a big upgrade from my Kendall days. I bought myself a sporty little car, and I honestly felt like I was living the life I’d dreamed about as a young girl.

Of course, I dated. One of my boyfriends was Frank Diaz, founder and producer of the group Exposé. We’re still good friends all these years later, which says a lot about the kind of person he is.

Then one of my best friends introduced me to the man who would become my first husband.

Even then, I wasn’t rushing toward marriage. If anything, I was perfectly content with the life I had already built. But sometimes life has its own timetable, and before long, I found myself engaged… and eventually married.

Frank and I in the early 80’s

I was my most important investment in life. Everyone should invest in themselves, and if someone comes along who invests with you, that is even better!

Amsterdam.  Best vacation ever. Met a cute guy…and we kept in touch for a long time.

One of the greatest gifts my airline career gave me was independence. Every woman should know what it feels like to stand on her own two feet, support herself, and realize she doesn’t need anyone else to build a happy life. If she chooses to share that life with someone, it should be because she wants to not because she has to.

When I did get married, my first husband wasn’t the best choice for me. If only we’d had Google and internet sleuthing back then! I probably would have asked a few more questions before saying “I do.”

He was a good person with flaws, as we all have, but he also had legal troubles that made our life together far more difficult than I had imagined.

Even so, I don’t look back with regret.

That chapter made me stronger than I ever thought I could be. It taught me resilience, confidence, and the importance of trusting my instincts.

During those years, we lived in Newport, Rhode Island, where I met Shannon, who would become my best friend for life. I also enjoyed a wonderful lifestyle and continued to build a career that gave me opportunities most people only dream about.

Looking back now, I realize that every chapter, even the difficult ones were shaping me into the woman I would eventually become.

Misha with her biological father, Timmy

That chapter came to an end when my first husband went to prison for a white-collar crime. I stuck by him through his prison term, but when he came home he wasn’t the same person I married.

But because I had built a career before I ever got married, I wasn’t starting over with nothing. I had my job, a condo that became mine in the divorce, and, most importantly, my daughter, Misha, the greatest gift to come from that marriage and the love of my life.

My parents, as always, stood beside me and were ready to help in any way they could. Knowing they were there gave me comfort, but it was also when I realized I had to take the reins of my own life.

Looking back, I can see that my independence wasn’t just something I enjoyed when I was young, it became the foundation that carried me through one of the most difficult seasons of my life.

Sometimes the choices we make in our twenties don’t just shape our happiest moments. They become the very things that help us survive our hardest ones.

Fashion was always part of my life

I was a single mom, but I was able to build a good life without feeling overwhelmed. I had a nice condo on the water in Fort Lauderdale, a cute little car, a career I loved, and those wonderful friends who worked with me and played with me.

Most importantly, I had my daughter, Misha. She was my pride and joy and the center of my world.

As I started over with a young child, I didn’t feel the pressure to find another husband. I had already checked those boxes. I had been married. I had my precious daughter. I wasn’t looking for someone to complete my life because my life already felt complete.

So when I dated, I never carried that desperate energy that so many people feel after a divorce. My attitude was more like, “Been there, done that.”

If the right person came along, wonderful. If not, I knew I’d be just fine.

Looking back, I realize that confidence came from something I had learned years earlier as a young flight attendant. Independence isn’t just about earning your own paycheck. It’s about knowing that, no matter what life throws at you, you’ll find a way forward.

The family I always pictured in my dreams

I have never been much of a planner or someone who constantly looks toward the future. In other words, I’m spontaneous.

Sometimes I wonder if that’s been one of my greatest strengths or one of my biggest flaws. Looking back, I realize I’ve landed on my feet more times than I probably should have. Decisions that could have ended in disaster somehow became some of the best chapters of my life.

Especially the decision to move to another country.

Spontaneity is a backpack I’ve carried my entire life, and I imagine I’ll still be carrying it until the day I die.

When I married for the second time and welcomed my wonderful son, life seemed perfect. I had everything I thought I wanted; a loving husband, two beautiful children, and a career that allowed me to work part-time as a flight attendant while still being present for my family. I had the best of both worlds: I could be a working mom and a stay-at-home mom.

Life doesn’t stand still. It keeps moving while we’re busy believing everything will stay the same. We never see the next chapter coming.

I certainly didn’t.

After spending most of my life in Florida, I never could have imagined that one day I’d pack up everything I owned, leave the life I’d always known, and begin again in Colombia.

But that’s the thing about spontaneity.

Sometimes it quietly becomes the road that leads you home.

Jumping forward to now, I have been asked to help with my 50th high school reunion. It got me thinking that I really am in a place I never thought I would be when I graduated all those years ago. Not just geographically, but emotionally and spiritually too.

High school days, 15 years old.

When I arrived at Florida State University in the spring of 1976, many of my high school classmates were getting ready for prom and graduation. I had already moved on. While they were celebrating the end of high school, I was discovering college life.

And what a life it was.

I had already been to enough proms to last a lifetime, so I never felt like I was missing out. Instead, I was dancing until dawn with my new college friends, walking runway shows as a hair model, and finally learning how to tame my wild curly hair into a style that actually worked. It was the disco era, and I embraced every glittering minute of it.

Whenever I went home for breaks, my parents could barely keep track of the young men who called or stopped by to see me. It was a fun, carefree time, and I was loving every minute of my newfound independence.

But the best thing that happened during my first semester wasn’t the parties or the fashion.

It was meeting Mark.

The first photo in this blog, standing on the roof of Smith Hall, captures a seventeen-year-old girl just beginning her journey. The photos that follow show how I grew into someone who loved fashion, music, and expressing herself without apology. Mark had so much to do with that transformation.

He introduced me to a world filled with disco, style, confidence, and joy. We’d spend hours practicing our dance moves, trying to perfect every spin and step. Thanks to him, I’m still a pretty good dancer today.

Hair model show at FSU

More importantly, he taught me that life should have a little flair. That it’s okay to enjoy fashion. That confidence can be joyful instead of showy. He helped me become comfortable being exactly who I was.

Mark remained one of my dearest friends for the rest of his life. When he recently passed away, I lost someone who had been part of my story for nearly fifty years.

Even now, whenever I hear Donna Summer or the Bee Gees, I’m right back on that dance floor with him.

Some friendships never really end.

They simply become part of the soundtrack of your life.

He also named my daughter. One of my favorite memories of him still makes me smile.

I remember riding in a convertible with him, dressed in black capri pants and a black A-line top that hid my baby belly perfectly, a scarf tied around my head, and big black sunglasses. We were playing Basia through the car speakers, the soundtrack to so many good memories. We came up with her name. Mikel Cara, Misha.

Mark and I strike a pose.
Misha was only one month old, and I spent New Year’s with Mark.

What if I had known back then, like in Back to the Future, that I would one day be living in Colombia?

It sounds more like a Netflix series than real life.

Who would have guessed that I’d learn another language, buy a beautiful property in Colombia, and turn it into a thriving business… all in my fifties?

Life has a funny way of surprising us.

I write from my soul as time passes and life’s lessons become memories—some joyful, some heartbreaking.

I write as if I’m the only one who will ever read these words. But the truth is, I hope my son, my granddaughter, and the grandchildren I may never meet will read them one day and think, “Wow… Grandma was kind of a badass.”

Maybe that’s why this blog has meant so much to me over the years.

It helped me survive the greatest heartbreak of my life, the loss of my daughter. Writing grounded me and still does here in Colombia. I have found healing, purpose, and a life I never could have imagined.

I can’t help but wonder what that seventeen-year-old girl would think if she could see me now.

I think she’d be surprised.

I know I still am.

Because the best parts of my life were never the ones I planned.

I write about the life I never planned.

Disco days. 20 years old. Record in my hair.
Me in the 80’s. Big hair was so in.
Posted in Colombia, expat life, life lessons, Memoir/Personal Essay, Personal Growth, relationships, Uncategorized

Love Bombed, Maybe: The Moment I Started Paying Attention (Part 2)

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

The Love Bombed, Maybe Series

Some relationships don’t fall apart all at once. Sometimes the cracks appear quietly, in small moments you try to ignore.

If you’re new here, I recommend reading my first blog in this series, “Love Bombed, Maybe.” Please click the link to read it and subscribe by email if you haven’t yet. In this post, I’m sharing more about my experience with love bombing and some new insights. Love bombing doesn’t always look the same. Some people go all out with gifts and compliments, but my experience was different, even though a lot of what I’ve read still applies. After the relationship ended, he still hovered on my social media stories and even replied to my last blog post on Facebook. He commented that my memories didn’t align with his. We had agreed to keep things off social media, but now that I’ve shared my story, he’s made himself known. I don’t think he liked my criticism, but I stand by what I wrote and will keep calling him LB. If he wants to comment again, that’s up to him. My thoughts come from notes I keep on my phone, and I haven’t exaggerated anything. Our relationship was still new, but I felt like the new-love feeling was fading. After he left Colombia, he became distant with delayed responses in our text chats. I’ll talk more about that later, since it connects to the patterns love bombers exhibit. For me, it was a signal to reassess the relationship. Life is too short to let anyone disturb your peace.

In my last blog, I mentioned how LB was rude during a meal at a restaurant when my son had joined us, making little effort to connect and keeping his headphones in. This was the start of his trip to visit me in Colombia. After dinner, we went home to pack for a two-day trip to Nevada del Ruiz. I love exploring new parts of Colombia, especially places known for biodiversity. The drive from my area, Valle del Cauca, is long. I was looking forward to a break from my glamping business. I decided not to dwell on the night before or LB’s behavior around my son. I was beginning to see a pattern with him, and it always occurred when others were around. I try to live by the idea that no one can take my peace unless I let them. Which includes starting drama, and my son had told me it wasn’t a big deal. I closed my place for two nights, and my son helped by checking out the current guests when we left. My best friend in Colombia, Alvaro, agreed to drive us on the five-hour trip. The drive was pleasant, with sunny weather. I had the back seat to myself, and LB chatted with Alvaro from time to time. I noticed LB seemed comfortable around him. Alvaro is a lot like me; he’s friendly with everyone. He met LB last year when he visited and drove him to different tourist spots.

When LB visited last year, he was a guest who paid to stay at my hotel and glamping place; he paid Alvaro to drive us on this vacation and cover all expenses. However, there was a huge difference this time. He was in Colombia to visit me and continue our relationship. LB wasn’t paying me to stay in my hotel. I had made the arrangements in advance for this trip after confirming that LB wanted to do it. Alvaro was super busy the week we left, but he did this as a favor to me. We made a quick stop in Buga along the way to pick up a crucifix of the Black Jesus, and then at other roadside places. It was not a hurried timeline. When it was time for lunch, we were near Salento, in the department of Quindío, where there is a shop with wonderful one-of-a-kind boots. I was there with my best friends in 2024 and bought boots. Alvaro reminded me and asked if I wanted to stop for an hour. I squealed with excitement, “Yes, I do!” We stopped, and LB said, ” Let me buy the boots for you for Christmas.” I allowed him to, but I was surprised that he came to see me without a Christmas present. His birthday was on the 16th in two days, and I had spent time ordering presents and arranging for my son to buy a birthday cake while I was on this road trip. I thought surely he had brought something else for me. I had also bought him Christmas presents. After the stop in Salento, we continued to Manizales, Colombia. We checked into the hotel and met downstairs later to go out and explore the town.

Manizales was decorated so beautifully, with colored lights and embellishments trimming every street and town square. The city glittered in the December night, and for a moment I let myself feel hopeful, as if the lights were sparkling promises just waiting to be kept. We hailed a cab to get to the trendy area where we decided to have dinner. When we were let out in this quaint neighborhood alive with people and holiday spirit, it truly felt like the magic of the season surrounded us. I felt the joy in the air and said, “Let’s go get a shot of tequila!” Alvaro, who never drinks because he is usually driving, decided to partake, too. We found a cute little bar and had a shot. There were so many different restaurants in the area, and we wandered by them until we found one we all liked. We got a table outside on a cozy little terrace along the street. We sat, and just like at lunch, LB sat across from me, and Alvaro sat next to me.

Alvaro and I have been friends for so long that we share food and talk without reservation. I explained in my last blog that LB doesn’t participate in conversation, and once again, he had his headphones in and his phone out. As the night went on, it dawned on me that the bright lights around us stood in sharp contrast to the growing shadow at our table. To be honest, it felt like I was on a date with Alvaro this particular night. We ordered another shot of tequila and looked at the menu together because we were sitting next to each other. We decided to share two dishes. LB was given an English menu, so I didn’t need to help him with translation. The tequila came, and we did a shot again, just as the waiter’s wife stopped by with their two dogs. One was a puppy, a Golden Retriever, and a Husky. They were beyond adorable. Alvaro is my favorite photographer, and he took pictures of me kissing and petting the dogs. Our meals came, and I really felt like the holidays were upon us that night. I wasn’t working at my hotel; I was just having fun with two men I loved. My boyfriend and my best friend. It was unfortunate, I thought, that my best friend was more engaged in this delightful evening than my boyfriend.

LB on his phone

Alvaro and I shared our meals while LB listened to his phone. There it was again, the divide I always noticed, sitting right in front of me at the festive table. The conversation moved around him. The warmth between Alvaro and me seemed to highlight just how separate LB was, caught up in his own world. The food, the laughter, the energy of the night: all of it seemed to pass by him, untouched. I felt the absence growing, even as I did my best to ignore it. Alvaro and I ordered a dessert to share. He knows me so well that he said, “Michele, you know you don’t finish anything, so we will share.” The three of us finished our desserts and wandered the city a little more before taking a cab back to the hotel. We said goodnight to Alvaro, decided to meet at 8:30 for breakfast, and then drove to Nevada del Ruiz.

I want to share more about Nevada del Ruiz. It is an active volcano rising 5,321 meters above sea level in the Central Andes of Colombia. Part of Los Nevados National Natural Park, it is known for its glacier, unique wildlife, and the stark beauty of the páramo landscape. The volcano is under constant monitoring due to seismic activity and gas emissions, and access is sometimes restricted for safety reasons. At that altitude, the air is thin, and the cold is sharp. Many visitors experience altitude sickness. The landscape feels almost otherworldly. It looks like a desert, yet it is freezing. The plants that survive there have adapted to the harsh páramo ecosystem. Among them lives the tiny Buffy Helmetcrest hummingbird, thriving in conditions that seem impossible. When we arrived, photographers were everywhere, capturing the biodiversity that manages to flourish in such extremes. We stopped at the park entrance to take photos before continuing to the main visitor area. As we climbed higher, the temperature dropped, and the vegetation became even more fascinating. Park rangers greeted us and explained that we could walk toward the volcano at our own risk. It is still active. Alvaro and I were eager to walk for a while, but LB began feeling the effects of the altitude. Instead, we watched the visitor center’s highlight film with English subtitles and asked questions afterwards. Even without hiking far, it felt like a once-in-a-lifetime experience for me. Afterward, Alvaro had arranged for us to visit a nearby hotel known for its hot pools heated by volcanic water. We drove there for lunch and time to soak in the naturally warmed baths. The water flowed directly from the volcano, with no jets, no artificial heat — just nature. I am always cold, so slipping into those pools felt heavenly. Surrounded by foliage and small tables set for lunch, it felt peaceful and almost surreal. LB was smiling in the photos we took in the pool. Looking at them now, I see warmth in his face. At the time, I let myself believe that despite the moments of distance I had noticed, we were building something real. After lunch, we made the long drive back to Valle del Cauca and my villa. It had been a beautiful two-day adventure, and I carried with me the quiet hope that we were moving forward together.

We awoke the next morning tired from our road trip. It was LB’s birthday, and I wanted the day to be all about him. We had no plans other than to relax and enjoy the sunny weather, the mountains in the distance sparkling against a clear blue sky. His phone began lighting up with calls and messages from family and friends. I had the day off before guests were scheduled to arrive at the villa the following afternoon. We thought about going to a nearby nature park and restaurant, but it was closed, so I made lunch instead. We sat outside on my covered balcony. There was no need for constant conversation; just being there together felt easy. My dogs lingered nearby, and my cat perched on my chair, poised to jump into my lap at any moment. It felt picture-perfect — peaceful, warm, content. I was looking forward to giving him the presents I had carefully chosen, small things I believed reflected that I had been paying attention to who he was and what he liked. As a December birthday, he had once mentioned that growing up, it often blended into Christmas. I wanted this one to stand alone. There was a cake waiting, just for him. We opened a bottle of wine, and the conversation flowed. I always enjoyed when LB talked; I just wished he did it more often. My son came upstairs with a surprise — three Cuban cigars. Later, when we lit the candles on the cake, he joined us again. Everything felt light and easy.

LB was staying at more than a house — he was at a small resort wrapped in nature, something I had built with intention and years of work. I wanted him to see that. I wanted him to understand that hosting him wasn’t effortless, even if I tried to make it look that way. The thing about generosity, though, is that when it goes unnoticed, it begins to feel less like giving and more like erasing yourself. I wasn’t asking for grand gestures. Just awareness. A small acknowledgment. A simple offer. Instead, I found myself quietly adjusting — covering the extra help, planning the meals, filling the silence, smoothing the edges. I told myself it wasn’t a big deal. That this was just what you did when someone you cared about visited. But somewhere beneath the hummingbirds and mountain views, a small question had started to take root:
Was I hosting a partner… or accommodating a guest? I have friends and family visiting often. I am usually very clear about the costs. I should have been with LB also. Staying at my resort is not the same as using an extra bedroom, like we do when we visit friends and family. My place is organized and needs to be run with efficiency. There is a lot that needs to be cared for all day, every single day. This is why I need someone there at all times. I cannot just up and leave on a whim. It takes careful planning. Again, LB paid the last time he visited; this time, there was no mention of any compensation.

We decided to visit another nature reserve nearby in my little town for lunch. Guests were arriving later, and the rest of LB’s stay would overlap with my Villa’s reservations. I had lost some money by closing for a few nights, so I wasn’t going to do that again. My employee was scheduled for most of the remaining days of his visit. When we got home, I made a couple of tequila-and-lemon drinks for us to enjoy by the lake. We had spent a lovely day together — just the two of us at lunch, then mingling briefly with the guests when they arrived. They were from New York City, like LB. The evening continued with a light meal, after which we went upstairs to sit and have wine. LB was getting a bit drunk — not in a bad way, just happy and relaxed. When he was in that mood, he could be incredibly charming. His laughter came easily, and for a while, it felt like we had settled into something comfortable. I suggested we watch a Netflix series I thought he might enjoy, although I had already begun to notice how rarely he seemed genuinely interested in the things I liked. We watched one episode, and just as I was starting to relax into the stillness of the night, he turned to me with sudden intensity. “Let’s get married. I’ll sign any paper you want to say I want nothing from you. Tomorrow, let’s go to town, get a license, and just do it. We can find a lawyer. I love you so much. What do you think?” He was drunk, but not sloppy — just euphoric. I was a little buzzed myself. Still, I wasn’t going to agree to marriage. Even in that softened, wine-warmed moment, he could not sway me. This wasn’t the first time he had pushed the idea so forcefully. And as he spoke, I found myself wondering whether his urgency was coming from love — or from something else entirely. I didn’t hesitate. “I’m never getting married again,” I told him calmly. “You know that.” He did know. I had been clear about it from the beginning. Marriage was not something I wanted — not now, not ever again. There was no wavering in my voice, no romantic pause to consider the fantasy of it. I meant what I said. Looking back, I sometimes wonder why the idea of marriage seemed to matter so much to him. The more firmly I stated my position, the more often he returned to it. It wasn’t romantic to me; it felt urgent. Almost as if my refusal unsettled something in him. I couldn’t understand why, if that’s what it was, love needed a contract so quickly. And I wasn’t going to bend on that boundary.

The next morning, after breakfast, we went shopping for clothes. LB wanted to buy lighter clothing that fit the tropical paradise where I live. As he picked out clothes, he casually suggested that he would leave them in my closet when he flew home. That way, he wouldn’t need to bring a suitcase next time he visited. Maybe only a backpack. His suggestion made me pause. I wasn’t ready for permanence like that. I wasn’t ready to end the relationship, but my enthusiasm was dwindling. I had told myself that being in my environment together would reveal a lot about each other. And it was. We continued shopping, and I had been noticing changes in him physically as well. When we exercised together in Bogotá, I told him how much I liked that he enjoyed exercising the way I did. Lately, I could see he had gained weight. It showed when we tried Yoga, and again that day in the fitting room mirrors. It wasn’t simply about appearance; it was about lifestyle alignment-about whether we valued the same things. Also, it occurred to me that he had brought up marriage again the night before. I didn’t know how to address the fact that he asked me to marry him when we stopped for lunch. I hoped to do it in a humorous way while still getting my point across.

As we ate, I brought up the subject of marriage when I said, “Hey, I thought we would run by city hall to check on how long it takes to get a marriage license. What do you think?” The look of surprise on LB’s face was priceless. I tilted my head couquettishly and waited. He actually smiled a real smile and then laughed. “I was just caught up in the moment last night.” Maybe he had said things like that in past relationships. Maybe other women found them romantic. I held his gaze and smiled back because my point had been made. I didn’t just let his easy dismissal slide. There was a pattern: big declarations, then easy brush-offs. I felt like he was giving me little tests to see how much I would accept.

The Saturday before he left, I had guests and wasn’t available to keep him company. He spent his time out on the balcony that had become his favorite place to sit. There were wine glasses, coffee cups, and his computer clustered around him. I was growing used to picking up after him, brushing aside my annoyance. That night, I gave him his Christmas gifts as he was leaving early on Monday. Again, like his birthday, I had planned them thoughtfully. He had nothing for me. During his entire visit, I had been making sure he was comfortable, entertained, and cared for, the way I would for a paying guest. Yet I couldn’t recall where he considered what I might need during his stay. It dawned on me that this is who he is, a person who consistently took but didn’t give.

His last day was more accommodating of what he had asked for before he visited. He wanted a BBQ. I had arranged for my dear friends to come over to meet him. These two young people are the ones I like to call my Colombian children. I adore them. They are part of my close circle of friends here in Colombia. They speak perfect English. I thought we would have a fun day of interacting and that they would get to know LB. As you can imagine, it wasn’t that way at all. LB had no interest in intermingling with Kevin and Katherine. He had asked for this BBQ! BBQs are about grilling together, socializing, talking, and sharing. It wasn’t even close to that. LB barely made an appearance, except when the table was set for lunch, after Kevin had done all of the work grilling, his girlfriend had done all of the preparing, and Adriana had done all of the effort of arranging the table on the balcony. LB joined the table, sat down, ate without saying a word to anyone, then got up and left. That was it. I was stunned. I had sprained my ankle the day before and had not been helping because I needed to rest it. I had mentioned to LB that we love to play games, and I hoped he would join in the fun. Nope, he got up and left the table. Kevin and Kathe asked me if I wanted to play Rumicube with them. I said no, and I don’t know why. I felt confused by everything about his stay, his bad manners, his indifference, and his social ineptitude. I was embarrassed. I knew if I sat there and played games, I would blurt out how upset I was by his behavior. The same as when he acted that way at the beginning of his visit, and my son joined us at dinner.

to be continued….have you ever looked back on a relationship and realized the warning signs were there all along? I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences.

Posted in Achievements, Colombia, Covid-19, happiness, hotel, letting go, life lessons, Live your best life, minimalism, Patience, Perfection and Peace, Uncategorized

Gratitude in the Year 2020

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

This year has been challenging for many of us. I believe that we grow stronger when we can focus on the positive and let go of the negative. I created a personal space for myself during the difficult months of 2020 and focused on all that I appreciated in the life I have. I started writing little notes when I would come upon myself smiling, laughing, or feeling contentment. I was able to recognize I had so much in my life. 

Uncertainty is stressful. I decided to let it go. I am living a life I designed for myself. Once I started writing down my thoughts each day, I was able to determine that my life wasn’t much different during the Pandemic rules than it was before the Covid-19. I have always been a very disciplined person. Lockdown did not make me less so. I still got up in the morning and started my day just like I have always done. It was comforting to know that I had a purpose each day. I have never been much for crowds, so when I would leave my Villa to do my errands, I was always in a hurry to be home again. This didn’t change during the coronavirus restrictions. I felt relief when I didn’t have a lot of pressure to accomplish too much. I had one day a week to get my basic needs. Enjoying six days at Villa Migelita Ecolodge was not a hardship. My beautiful hotel became a place of pleasure I alone could enjoy without the responsibilities that came with the bookings. Sure I missed my guests, but I found comfort with the artistry of nature surrounding me.

Nature fills us with blessings. I became enthralled with the noises and calls that awoke me in the mornings. The Chachalaca birds started waiting for me to put bananas out at the feeding stations. The hummingbirds became my friends. Cleaning their feeders was always part of my daily routine, but it was part of the job when I had my guests here. They are an attraction to many who visit. Alas, now they were just mine to enjoy. I discovered much about how they had accepted me when I alone was enjoying them. They hate when I clean the feeders. They buzz me and are waiting when I refill and hang them again. My parrot Luci revealed so much about herself as she grew into adulthood. I wrote a blog about my decision to give her freedom. She has rewarded me with visits. I watched as the fish in my natural pool grew huge. They love any leftover organics from cooking. I never knew this. They are fat and happy and await the scraps to be thrown to them all day long. My ducks are tame and always following me when I sit by the lake. I had to cut down a large tree because of construction. I used the trunk to make a small Gnome village that feeds the neotropical birds, and children can play in when the guests return. The beauty of nature is resplendent. It gives so much back to us humans.

Animals give us unconditional love. Appreciating them and their company was essential during this unwarranted time in history. I was able to shower my undivided attention on my animals. They gave back their love. It was a love-fest!

Relaxation is essential to our well-being. I realized I could do what I wanted on any given day during the lock-down: “Netflix today, beautiful light for photography, writing a blog, cook a new recipe, clean my curtains, organize my office space, take a nap, have a glass of wine, do Yoga, listen to classical music, appreciate the sunsets, the rainstorms, acknowledging the views surrounding Villa Migelita Ecolodge” my brain was never idle. I felt complete many nights when I drifted off to sleep.

I spent less money. I found out that as a minimalist I had room to learn. I didn’t need as much as I had. I have eliminated some unnecessary costs from my life. I used the money I saved to give back to the community through charity. A friend collected money, farm products not used, and distributed to the poor. 

I savored my peace. I missed my choices from before Covid. However, I relished my alone time. I found out I was just fine being with my own company. 

My hair grew long, and it wasn’t grey! I now have a healthy head of hair that doesn’t require much upkeep. I don’t need a lot of beauty rituals. I did gain some weight, but I have lost most of it. I like the way I look. I acknowledge my looks. There is no need to go to any extreme to keep current on trends in beauty. I am timeless. 

I became close with my son. He had arrived right before Colombia shut down. We were in this together. We grew closer. He learned the bird calls, the names of hummingbirds, to help me clean the hotel, to speak Spanish, to enjoy his own space, to train his puppy Cash, to help me with our aging dog Marley, to enjoy rainy days and sunny days, to look at a full moon, to watch the sunsets with me, and to help me with little things. He is a good son. I lost my daughter , but we were able to share memories of her. There are no words for what we both have discovered.

Health is all we have. I am so grateful to live during this unprecedented time in the country of Colombia. I live in the fresh air, an open home filled with breezes, and no other people surrounding me. My neighbors are near but not too near. We have a beautiful community. We appreciate that we live with a certain amount of freedom from the Pandemic. We still wear masks when we chat over the fence while maintaining social distance. We have our health. I will continue to live a life isolated from crowds until the virus is gone. I can do this. The vaccination should bring the world back to normal in the next year. I have the patience to wait. I will follow the guidelines to keep my health intact. 

I suggest to everyone to take a moment and write a list of gratitude. It will bring the best of your world to you. I know we all have bad days, or weeks, maybe months. Take a moment to inhale all that is good. I promise it will bring a smile to your face. Smiles are as good as money, so is joy.

Merry Christmas to all and a Happy New Year filled with new beginnings!-

Posted in animal death, Devastating sadness, family, Grief, happiness, life lessons, Live your best life, Uncategorized

Senior Animals Show Us How to Live Our Best Life.

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

I have been procrastinating during the past few months. I have all the words I want to say inside of me, yet I can’t bring myself to write them down. I have watched my dog Marley decline. He has arthritis of the hips. He will no longer climb the stairs to the third floor at Villa Migelita Ecolodge because he cannot get down those same stairs. I help him down the small stairs that reach the patio area where I feed all of the animals. I worry how he will continue to walk down any of the stairs at the Villa in the upcoming months as he grows older. As Marley continues to age it brings to mind taking care of my mother when she lived with me years ago. Animals are not so different even though they don’t get to live a long life. How I wish they could.

Marley smiling

Cats are like the comfy blanket we use when we are feeling down. They are always nearby in a spot they have picked out to be the favorite place for a while. They have their habits as we adapt to their idiosyncrasies. Dogs are the smiling faces that wag their tails when they see us. They anxiously await us when we leave the house. Cats not so much as they are such independent creatures. They show their love without a lot of fuss. Cats are insistent and determined in their show of affection. Often in the middle of the night when they decide to climb up on your body or rub a whisker on your face to startle you awake.

Cats create a warmth in any room

All animals age differently. My dog Marley doesn’t look old. He has few grey hairs, but the giveaway is arthritis in his hips. Marley walks with a hesitant gate. He is a bit crooked in his form. When sleeping, the mouth opens in a creepy grin. I often check to see if he is still breathing. Franchesca, my old tortoiseshell cat, could be found sleeping next to Marley on most days. They were friends for many years and came with me to Colombia from the United States. Franchesca passed away suddenly on Thursday. In this video, she looks healthy and very content. I don’t know what happened to Franchesca. Wednesday evening, she was with me in the kitchen talking to me. She always would meow, and I would answer with a meow. She was often in the living room relaxing when she wasn’t outside on a patio taking in the sun. When she didn’t come to the food dish on Thursday morning, I started calling for her. I found her under the small steps that lead to the first-floor patio. She looked asleep, but I knew she wasn’t. I reached in to pick her up, thinking she might be sick. She was dead. I won’t go into the details, but I broke down. She was intact without marks. She didn’t ever wander far as she had her favorite places. Usually, she was with me in the morning when I wake up. Thursday morning, she wasn’t at the end of my bed. I had my gardener bury her with a beautiful plant to mark her grave. Maybe Franchesca had an underlying condition that I was unaware of. Franchesca had a long and rewarding life with me. She was special because my deceased daughter gave her to me as a gift. Franchesca mellowed in her last years. I often would tell my guests she won’t let you pick her up or pet her and, Franchesca always proved me wrong. She was content, living her best life on my farm. I don’t think Franchesca suffered, at least I want to feel that. I want to imagine she closed her eyes and fell into an eternal sleep.

Rating: 1 out of 5.
Marley

I arrived in Colombia with five animals nine years ago. I have only Marley left with me now. Each morning I see Marley smiling at me is another reminder to live my best life. Marley has no worries as he is forever happy. I want to be this way. I want to let go of the burdens I have placed on my heart. I want to feel content in every moment as our senior animals do. They have pain we don’t know about because they never complain. They enjoy each day as if they will live forever. They never appear to worry about their futures. They exist for our pleasure. We exist to receive their love, hope for a great many years together. I can only hope that Marley passes peacefully in his sleep, as I imagine Franchesca did. In the meantime, I am going to appreciate the gift Marley has given me with his beautiful spirit. I am going to grieve my Franchesca as the loss of a family member. I am going to wake up every morning with positivity and a smile. I think my animals have taught me to cherish what I have at this moment.

R.I.P. Franchesca
Posted in coronavirus, doctors, etiquette, freedom, guidelines, life lessons, Patience, rules, science, Uncategorized

Etiquette in the Time of Coronavirus.

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

 

Waking up in the morning to the sounds of the birds calling at dawn is my favorite alarm. Sometimes it is not even light yet as I hear the parrots overhead calling like a choir singing. I open my eyes and forget that the world is forever changed momentarily. I listen and stretch, and then it enters my mind. Another day of the same routine, except it is getting more stringent again in Colombia because our cases are surging. We have a holiday weekend in Colombia however we are all closed inside. No one can drive anywhere, especially into the mountains where people come to relax from city life to their country homes. Liquor is unavailable as parties are part of the reason for this new surge. It now appears that in Colombia that for so long was holding off the coronavirus is now falling victim to increased cases daily. People here are not following the rules set forth by the government while the virus thrives because of this.

My time is doing much as I did before this pandemic struck so suddenly. I don’t mind being in my Villa with my animals, nature, and the beautiful weather that is year-round here in the Andes Mountains of Colombia. However, I realize that it is a lifestyle I choose because I was surrounded for so many years by people packed inside an airplane, and I love my life of simplicity. I find myself busier than ever because I have to keep this hotel organized and clean. I am no longer hosting guests, who can know if I will in the foreseeable future, and I don’t have the help I once had. I get a day out for essentials, but I don’t enjoy myself because I am worried about contracting the virus. I wear the mask, carry the hand sanitizer, stay distant from others, and I hurry through my errands to get back to my place of peace in the mountains.

As we increase in cases here in Colombia, I am noticing parallels to the United States of non-compliance about such simple things we can all do to alleviate the spread of Covid-19. Wearing a mask is a must. It is proven to keep us safer and possibly eliminating the risk of contracting the virus altogether. In Colombia, we have rules to follow if a business is allowed to be open. As of now, hotels are not available, and flights are not operating due to the pandemic. Restaurants can deliver, or we can pick up food, but no one can enter an establishment. To shop, we have to show our country ID to the guard at the entrance, have our temperature checked, a photo of our ID, hand-sanitizer, and walk on mats to clean our shoes. These stringent measures were working until the parties started on the weekends, and the bicyclists started not wearing masks while exercising. Selfishness, impatience to return to our old lifestyle, and non-compliance are causing others to die.

Etiquette is having the decency to respect the lives of others. Every single day I see on my various social sites that someone I know has become infected. Some of these people would post pictures of themselves without masks, with others having fun without social distancing, and being deliberately defiant to the guidelines that are proven by scientists and doctors to correspond with mitigating the virus. Those of you who support these dangerous conspiracy theories are the reason the cases are surging. Do you want the world economy to crash? There are simple directives for us all to follow. I cannot understand anyone who deliberately risks their own life as well as the lives of others for any reason. The virus is apolitical. It doesn’t care who you vote for, what your lot in life is, whether you believe in these stupid conspiracy theories, and will strike without a thought if you surround yourself with someone who is a carrier. Remember, there is no way of knowing if someone has the virus until it is too late, then you have it.

Young people are particularly affected by these new guidelines that keep them so confined. My son is here with me in Colombia. He just told me that he is beginning to understand the true meaning of patience. He has been stuck in my Villa for over three months without leaving. I can’t bring him with me on errands as Colombian rules specify one person per nuclear family is allowed out on our designated days. He is learning Spanish, he is playing with his dog Cash, and the other dogs. He has learned the names of many hummingbirds and Neotropical birds, and chats with my neighbors from across the fence. I explained to him three months is not a long time. It feels that way to us right now. We all have issues with the continuous monotony of our daily lives during the pandemic. I miss making appointments that are needed to have my teeth cleaned, or to see a doctor because I have a pain in my shoulder. I can get an order for an x-ray without a problem by phone. However, I prefer to wait until it is less risky. I can get my teeth cleaned, but this can wait until the virus is gone. We need to have a mindset of compliance for the better good of our society, for the world economy, for future generations.

So I ask all of you who follow my blog to follow the guidelines put forth by the experts, the doctors, the scientists, they know what they are saying is the only thing that can bring back our world from the brink of disaster. We have been in lockdown in Colombia since March. If we look at this amount of days compared with our entire existence, it is not that much time. Toleration is tantamount to getting back to what we once knew. I implore everyone to turn off those sketchy conspiracy theories in your mind, to listen to the experts, to contribute to getting our world back to a place we can live comfortably, and interact with others again. We might not have our old lives back in the same way we once did, but we can certainly obtain a good existence that will guarantee our children and grandchildren will have a future.

If you haven’t signed up for my blog you can click on follow in the sidebar and add your email. My last blog was about letting my sweet parrot Luci have her freedom. We all desire freedom, nature shows us patience. Luci returns almost every day to say hello, and little by little she brings more parrots with her. She has found her flock but still remembers the love and care I gave her. Let’s give each other love and care during a difficult time in all of our lives. Some of us more than others are suffering disproportionally. Let us show empathy, let us show concern by honoring those we care about. Even if it means sacrificing some of your freedoms.

 

Posted in animal rights, Awakening, Birders, chaos, Colombia, Colombian life, coronavirus, country living, freedom, happiness, letting go, life lessons, Live your best life, mother nature, nature, Patience, save our planet, Signs of the Universe, Uncategorized, Villa Migelita Ecolodge

Luci is Free to Fly.

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

What does freedom mean?

The state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint.

Luci was free, but I cut her wings. I have had her since she was 3 months old, she had turned 6 years old this past April. I  had noticed Luci was finding spots in the ground to try to lay eggs, which Luci could not produce. She was restless, she was damaging anything that she could, my outdoor bathroom doorframe, the cement on the wall surrounding the frame, and then she went up inside my new washing machine and chewed up cables. There went that warranty! I decided to let her wings grow. This is the last video I have of her enjoying a rain shower. You can see her wings which are almost fully grown. She had a boyfriend who came to visit almost every single day and called to her. She called back, but she couldn’t go to him. I decided she needed to be with him. I worried that she would not know how to eat in the wild. I hoped if her wings grew in and she flew off she would find her happiness and her novio could teach her what to eat in the wild. I struggled with my decision as I loved Luci like I love all of my animals, and I know she loved me back.

Hike with Beeja, Luci on tree perch 018
When Luci was a juvenile and had all of her colors

Luci started to fly recently. She flew low so I worried about my decision. We would find her almost every single day in a weird spot. She would call out for me which I would follow, find her, and bring her back to her perching area. She would enter her cage, which is always open to sleep for the night. This past Wednesday, she called for me, and I couldn’t find her. I looked everywhere. She called but with all the beautiful plants she blends in. She slept outside for the night.

Thursday morning I listened for her. I was hoping she was still at my Villa. She didn’t disappoint and called. I couldn’t find her. She was further away, her sound was distant. I knew she was higher in a tree. When the workers who are installing a new fence at Villa Migelita Ecolodge arrived I asked them to listen for Luci. She called again and one of them found her high up in a fruit tree. They ran to get the ladder, but alas Luci is smart and knew she would no longer have freedom. She flew off and down. I watched as she entered my neighbor’s yard. She would never be found now. We looked and we called her. She didn’t answer. It was around 8:30 am and I hear her boyfriend in the same tree he is always in. I talked to him and said Luci was gone. I was in tears, to be honest. I know I had prepared myself, but I wasn’t ready to say goodbye like this. He squawked and squawked. Then I heard a squawk from far away in the corner of my property. It was Luci answering! He flew away immediately.

In my wildest dreams, I felt he was going to meet up with her. I wanted to believe this. I went to sleep that night telling myself this happened. I awoke and told my gardener when he arrived about what had happened. Everyone told me she would be fine, the companion will teach her to eat and we have plenty of food in Colombia for parrots. I was so sad all day, I went to rest and I hear her calling. “Luci is back my inner voice said to me!” She was and she was high in a tree on my other neighbor’s property. I called for her and she just watched. She remained in the tree. My heart was full because I realized she could fly high up and she was alive. Then yesterday my son called me, she was in the same tree with her sweetheart. She had called to show us that she is around and happy.

This morning I was up early feeding the dogs and I heard her. She was calling again, and I see her land right next to my property line with her companion. They were grooming each other. I walked over and I stood directly under the tree. They both looked down at me as Luci did a little twirl. I called her name and she cocked her head. I said I was happy she is free. I stood there and watched for around 2 minutes and then they flew away together.

To be free is something that we humans are missing right now. We are confined, we are given rules we don’t like, we are not sure about what the future will bring. Nature can give all of us a perspective on this. Luci certainly has taught me an important lesson. Sometimes, patience is necessary in life to achieve our goals. Luci communicated to me her needs, I listened. One day she may bring her babies back to Villa Migelita. I do know she loves me as she keeps showing up to see me. It might end, she could migrate, but I will know she has found her happiness.

I wish all of my followers happiness and peace during this turbulent time in the world. We need to find our peace, within ourselves, during such an undetermined world of complete and utter chaos. Nature can show this to us. The animal kingdom is so patient. They are wise and communicate their needs without being so utterly selfish. They are compliant and wait for what they want. I am missing my Luci. My heart aches when I see her cage which I am leaving open in case she wants to come back. I know in my heart she has found her peace. I wish that to all of you who follow my blog. Find your peace and live your peace.

Posted in Achievements, Colombian healthcare, expat life, freedom, happiness, hotel, life lessons, Live your best life, minimalism, Patience, Perfection and Peace, Uncategorized, Villa Migelita Ecolodge

Minimalism 101

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

I wrote a blog many years ago about becoming minimalist. It was one of the most popular blogs I have ever written. During this time of isolation, you can change your habits. Why not organize your house (and your life) and get rid of all the stuff you have taking up space? I can guarantee the feelings of being in charge of your living area will free up so much time for all those things that are on your wish list. Why not change your diet to healthy foods,  try to drink more water, and eliminate sugar? Minimalism is not just about living simply, it is about living healthy, learning to live without depending on social media, constant cable news, going out to just get out. Learn to be happy with yourself and your own company. I have found no real difference in my life since I have been in quarantine because I always would leave my Villa very early when I had errands so I could get home as soon as I could. I want to be in my home, and in the tranquility, it provides me and my spirit.

I have a very large Villa. It is a hotel, but with the novel coronavirus, it is now just my home. I don’t have maids anymore, I am responsible to keep it clean and in good condition in hopes that I will return to my business soon. In Colombia, we are not in the same position as other countries dealing with this Pandemic. Colombia, the country started to restrict activity at an accelerated speed. Thus, we have a much smaller amount of the disease than other countries. Colombia also has the best-rated health care system in Latin America and is rated number 22 in the world as having a preeminent health protection system above the United States and many other wealthier countries. Many people who were here on vacation when the coronavirus struck have extended their tourist Visa to stay longer, and they are trying to obtain a longer Visa to live here. The reason I bring this up is that moving to Colombia is how I became a minimalist. When you leave your country of birth and move to another country all advice given by experts is to get rid of everything except the most special memories and buy anew. I did this with great difficulty, but I have yet to regret my decision or my lifestyle change.

The steps to becoming more organized in your life are to start with getting rid of all the excess baggage hanging around in your mind first. Start with a routine. Routine is the actualization of becoming a minimalistic person. I start my day the same way every morning. I am sure many of us do. However, then we get sidetracked, distracted, or overwhelmed with what seems to be too much to do to get our lives and homes as we want them to be. Routine is key to minimalism. The most important part of your routine is to have a clean, well-maintained home. To have a home that is simple to maintain is to get rid of excess. It is just that simple. I suggest that you go room to room and look at what bothers you in each place. Make a list and start slowly. If you try to tackle too much you will become disillusioned and you will quit. Now is the perfect time to start the process while you are staying at home to be safe from the virus.

There is much to say about being a real minimalist. It progresses through little steps. I will continue my blogs each week with more advice on how to continue to a well-organized home and mind. With a simple home, your mind becomes less cluttered just as your home will. You will sleep better, and find you have more time for things that you do but feel guilty about because you know you should be cleaning up your office, or organizing your kitchen. I have no excess food in my house, even during this time in isolation. I buy what I need because I know what I need. I know how much toilet paper I use in a month, I don’t have canned foods, and I hardly ever eat out. It is less expensive and it is also healthy. We control our lives, our lives don’t control us! 

Let me know what you think of my first blog about becoming minimalist in the comments. Sign up by email so you never miss a blog. In the comments please write what is hard for you to achieve, questions, and if you have any suggestions for others that can help them get to a place of peace that only an organized life can give you.

 
 
Posted in Colombia, Entreprenuer, Grief, hummingbirds, life lessons, Signs of the Universe, Uncategorized, Villa Migelita Ecolodge

A Tribute

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

Grief is something that I have learned to live with. I have a hard time when I read of an unexpected death. It happens a lot because I am connected to many people on Facebook. I especially loved the page Hummingbird Haven started by Faye, a very dear person I came to know many years ago. She posted such beautiful photos of hummingbirds she had taken at her home in Oregon on the Columbia River. An amateur photographer who taught herself to take great photos. She encouraged all of us who were not photographers with how fast she learned the artistry of nature photography. Hummingbirds are special messengers to the spiritual world, and I have many here in Colombia, South America also. Faye had her own stories of grief, hardship, and love which she shared willingly with all of us who followed her. She helped so many of us who did not actually know her personally, she was a brilliant diamond who drew us into her world, life, and her love of hummingbirds.

I would visit her page daily just to see the beautiful posts she shared of the world surrounding her along with the photos of her hummingbirds. She posted photos of Eagles, the Columbia River, scenic landscape shots of her home, and barns. I was enchanted to visit with her every single day. I would occasionally send her a photo of one of my hummingbirds and sometimes she would post them even though the quality of my photography left a lot to be desired back when I was learning about photography myself. She would direct people to my page Villa Migelita Ecolodge and tried to help me gain followers. She was so generous in her help to others. She was instrumental in getting me and my Ecolodge started.

One day a hummingbird flew into my office through the open window. I was able to video the miracle that occurred with my other hand. I kept trying to put this Fawn-breasted brilliant hummingbird back outside with the other hummingbirds. It kept returning to me. I am still convinced it was a message of love sent to me through the Universe from my deceased daughter. I wasn’t finished with the construction work on my Villa, my chipped fingernails and hands that were very chapped from working in my organic garden looked horrible. I look back at this video and think this is when my destiny took hold, and I soared with the prospects of a new and better future. I shared the video with Faye and she posted it on her page for me. I couldn’t believe it when the video went viral. I think over 500,000 people viewed it.

As a result of this video and dear Faye I was contacted by several people and had my first guests arrive to stay at my Villa here in the Andes Mountains of Colombia in the Valle del Cauca department. I now have a popular hotel visited by hummingbird photographers, nature photographers, nature lovers, adventure travel enthusiasts, and people who just want to visit and bask in the peace that surrounds me. I know it is because Faye shared the video of the hummingbird that wouldn’t leave that I had my moment to shine. I continued to pursue my dream as a woman entrepreneur and to meet people from all over the world.

I am living a life that any retired flight attendant would love, a life that I appreciate daily when I look around at what I have created. All the while having visitors come to my place of living. I get to share the hospitality I learned from being a flight attendant for so many years. I will be forever grateful for Faye. She helped me and I am sure she has helped others as well. If you were on her page she prayed for you. I know she did because she told all of us daily that she kept all of her thousands of followers in her prayers. I can only hope that she knows how many of us loved her so much, even though we didn’t know her personally. She was an inspiration to all. God bless you Faye Marie Miller for all you did for the people you touched. I know I am a better person for having shared some of my life with you. Now you are gone to a better place escorted by the beautiful hummingbirds you loved so much. I will never forget you. I hope you meet up with all who have gone before you and continue to spread the joy you gave to all of us. Thank you, Faye, I will always appreciate what you did for me. I also hope you meet my daughter, I will always feel she had a hand in our meeting and that very special video.

Posted in Achievements, chaos, Colombia, Entreprenuer, expat life, life lessons, Live your best life, Materialism, minimalism, Uncategorized

Materialism vs Achievments

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

My guests at Villa Migelita Ecolodge of Colombia always ask me the same thing. “How did you do this?” By this, they mean my move to Colombia and opening a hotel in The Andes Mountains. Many of my customers come to see in person what I have achieved. Curiosity about living in another country along with the love of all things nature is a driving force for many of us living in what is a chaotic time in the world. As I said in my last blog: Living Your Best Life, we must stop trying to impress others, we must breathe, live, and be ourselves. We must give up what we think others expect of us and do what we enjoy. We must change, materialism and achievement are two different things. Materialism is a preoccupation with or emphasis on material objects, comforts, and considerations, with a disinterest in or rejection of spiritual, intellectual, or cultural values. Achievement is something accomplished, especially by superior ability, special effort, great courage, etc.; a great or heroic deed: both are definitions from the dictionary. I believe we all have it inside of us to achieve the goals that we set for ourselves. It might take 8 years as I have done, or you might be able to achieve your goal in a matter of weeks.

We should reflect on achievements in our lives and not materialism. I am a spiritual human being. The Universe is my religion. I am not a believer in organized religion. I am not saying it is unacceptable, it is just not for me. I believe in a God of all people who made the beauty of nature that surrounds me in Colombia and the rest of the world. I am worried about the upcoming generations and what is happening to our climate. Spiritualism is my way of life. I do not expect others to follow my beliefs. I do believe we should be civil to each other and respect the Earth. I have shown this is possible by my lifestyle change. I live what I write.

Achieving my goals took time and I have a beautiful hotel. I worked hard and went through difficulties to get to where I am. I didn’t do this when I was young. I did it in my 50’s and now I am a senior citizen according to the definition. I don’t live as a senior. I play volleyball, I hike, I include myself in many adventure travel activities offered at Villa Migelita Ecolodge. I am surrounded by many young people. I work with them, and I have them as guests. I laugh when I realize they don’t ever consider my age and expect me to keep up on all things adventure. I am thrilled they feel this way. I enjoy my life and all that I have accomplished. I am doing what I love, and you should aim for this too. Do what you love, do not look at other’s lives to decide what you need for your life. Do what makes your heart happy.

As for materialism, let it go. You don’t need a new outfit for every occasion, or the latest phone, car, jewelry, or whatever is the flavor of the moment. Living in Colombia has made me see how superficial we all can be. I was that way. In Colombia we wear the same clothes over and over, we don’t have new cars. I joke with my guests about the Toyota truck I drive. They actually say they love my truck. Then they see it is a good investment needed to do all the adventure travel options offered at Villa Migelita Ecolodge. I wish I could have given myself this advice years ago. Being older has a lot of advantages, especially when you have lived through a lot of changes: good and bad. Take my advice and let the good things that surround you bring you joy, not material objects. Fun with your family, the beauty of a perfect day, frolic on the beach, in the mountains, or just play games with your children. We play volleyball almost every single day at Villa Migelita Ecolodge, even with our guests sometimes. It is the little things that bring joy. Not material objects.

Posted in Alternative Lifestyle, Awakening, Colombia, Dogo Argentino, Entreprenuer, exercise, expat life, family, farm life, friendship, happiness, life lessons, Live your best life, Uncategorized

Living Your Best Life

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

I recently watched a movie on Netflix that reminded me of myself and my life. A girly movie called Falling Inn Love. I haven’t fallen in love with a person, but I have fallen in love with a new country and opened a hotel. I have found that changing my lifestyle and country changed me also. I have a new outlook on how I live my life. So there were definite parallels between myself and the main character of this sweet movie. Although the woman in the movie changed her life and attitude in a short period, it has taken me 8 years. I moved to Colombia without speaking Spanish, and I had to learn to live in a new culture completely different from the United States. This movie made me think about all that has changed in my life, and how I have evolved into the person I am now.

For most of my adult life, I lived and worked with the perception in my head that I was doing what I did to achieve not personal freedom and happiness but to achieve a certain lifestyle I thought was necessary to live a good life. As every human being knows our intentions sometimes take a different turn and we find ourselves in situations that are beyond our control. We find ourselves with problems that pop up unexpectedly, usually not of our own doing. We find ourselves having to fight for what is best and we don’t think of ourselves but of changing others. As I have grown older I have found out to change others is an impossibility. We can only change ourselves. We need to live our best life and let even the most beloved people in our lives see that they must also live their best life too.

Living in the rural country of Colombia is a lifestyle change of a magnitude I never thought possible until I did it and adjusted to the lack of accessibility to ordering a pizza on a whim or running out of an item and just running across the street to the grocery or drug store. Buying everything you need in one place, not going from store to store to complete my errands as I do here in Palmira, Colombia. We have errand days here in Colombia and we have it down to a science now. The years leading up to my now complete organization were difficult. I was not able to do things by myself because I couldn’t communicate well and I was nervous about driving without being able to speak Spanish well. Now I just hop in my truck and go.

Recently my son moved to Colombia to live with me. He, fortunately, doesn’t have to go through what I went through except learning Spanish. He is enjoying complete cultural change without learning hard lessons. He came from the rat race lifestyle that many Americans live to my place of peace filled with the beauty of nature, birds, and animals. He even has a new puppy that he can nurture with love and attention. I am surprised at how fast he is understanding Spanish conversation and speaking some Spanish words! Jovenes, as he is called here in Colombia, learn quickly. We even have a volleyball net set up with all of my friends and family coming to play many afternoons a week. I watch with pleasure as I see him transform into a fun-filled person making friends quickly with all whom I cherish in my life.

Cash the new Dogo Argentino at Villa Migelita Ecolodge

There is an important lesson in this syrupy movie on Netflix that can teach all of us. Stop and take time to enjoy the life you live. Look for pleasure in the little things. Get out and go feel fresh air on your face, exercise more, meet your neighbors, open your curtains up in your house and stop living in darkness all day so you can see the television better, change your diet by actually cooking food instead of ordering from menus online, be kind, stop the political posts on Facebook because you will not change anyone’s mind and put nice moments from your day online, show people how to live their best life!

When you live your best life you live the life you deserve. It might happen quickly, or it might take 8 years as it has for me. I have found myself with a lot of difficulties, but I am the best person I can be. I am fulfilled, I still have problems because that is what life is about, learning to navigate problems and still be a good person. Show by example, stay strong, fight when you need to, and give complete authenticity with all you do. Don’t let others influence who you are. Just be the person you are, and be proud of it!