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Asking the Impossible


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Forgive and Forget?.”1973566_756373984428670_7210894168049152791_o

Sure it is easy to forgive and forget some things. But to ask me to forgive the murderer of my daughter and forget what he did, I can’t, I won’t. He killed her when she was helping someone. He ran her down and left her body on the side of the road for hours. She was twenty years old, and had a two-year old daughter. He killed a daughter, a sister, and a mother. He is without remorse and has never apologized. I made it my mission to get him to trial, which he avoided for almost five years. He was given a suspended sentence by a worthless judge in Baton Rouge, Louisiana who is known for letting killers walk free. I can’t forgive or forget her either.

Do I let this travesty ruin my life? No. I live my life in memory of her. I do everything that she can no longer do. I will not allow myself to be bitter. I will not allow myself to wallow in the sadness I feel that will never leave me. Do I think of him now that he is walking free without ever serving time for killing my child? Yes, sometimes, but it is best for me not to think about him as I become very agitated over the injustice. I get physically sick, I really do. My health has suffered. It is best not to think of him at all, but that does not mean I have forgotten. It is just the way I have to live, the murderer has left me with that. He left me with a hole in my heart that will be there until I die. If I think of him, like now while writing, I hope someday he will feel the kind of pain he inflicted on all of us who are still grieving her death.

So I think asking someone to forgive and forget could be applied to petty squabbles, or ex-spouses, mean people, friendships that disappoint, bad relationships, anything that you have moved on from. I cannot move on from her murder. I can allow myself to enjoy life, I can relish the beauty that surrounds me here in Colombia, I can feel happiness. But I can never forget her, I can never look at the gorgeous rose blossoming,  the hummingbird drinking nectar, or the butterflies that float by without thinking she is missing this. Her life cut short through the senseless act of selfishness that one man perpetrated. He drove off and left her there dead, he shall never gain my forgiveness.


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Author:

I'm an American woman who took a leap of faith and moved to Colombia 15 years ago after the devastating loss of my daughter. What began as a journey to find peace and heal a broken heart became an entirely new chapter of my life. Fifteen years later, Colombia isn't just where I live. It's my home, and a place that has taught me more about life, love, and myself than I ever could have imagined. I bought a villa in the mountains, renovated it, and created my own little piece of paradise, Villa Migelita Ecolodge. Along the way, I've embraced a new culture, learned Spanish (still a work in progress!), made wonderful friendships, and discovered that life has a funny way of surprising us when we least expect it. My life here is filled with hummingbirds, breathtaking mountain views, unexpected adventures, occasional chaos, and plenty of stories that sometimes seem too unbelievable to be true! Hummings from Paradise is my way of sharing it all. The beautiful moments, the challenges, the laughter, the tears, and the lessons I've learned along the way. I believe life is a book filled with chapters, and I'm still writing mine. Some chapters are heartbreaking, others are hilarious, but every one has helped shape the woman I am today. I hope you'll follow along as I continue discovering not only this beautiful country I've come to call home, but also a little more about myself. And believe me, there's never a dull moment in paradise!

4 thoughts on “Asking the Impossible”

  1. some experiences are so hard, both to live with and to forgive. I am sorry you have to survive this.
    and although it is impossible for you right now, I do hope the time will come when you will be able to forgive, and do it for yourself.

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    1. I just can’t forgive him, I know there have been people and I know someone who forgave the murderer of their child. However, the murderer accepted responsibility for their actions and served time. The guy who killed my daughter has acted like he was not at fault even though he plead to a plea bargain. It would be like me saying it is ok you ruined so many lives. I am really fine and live a very peaceful life now. I did what was best for me by moving and finding a way to use my grief productively. I have a B n B now here in Colombia and spend my days with my animals and nature. Life is what we make of it, and I’m strong. I just hate that saying forgive and forget. This situation does not apply to this platitude .

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