Orion my Dogo Argentino is magnificent. He was given to me by a neighbor the night before I moved to Villa Migelita.
He had 4 homes before he came to me. He is a very delicate dog, although he looks fierce. He has broken two bones, his skin is problematic and he is always needing attention by the veterinarian for some reason. Here are some of my favorite photos of Orion. He is now almost 8 years old. I have lived in Colombia since 2011. He was a young guy when I adopted him. Enjoy the beauty of Orion, my big boy.
I have avoided silence since January 31, 2010. The day my daughter was murdered. I have learned lessons, and I have worked hard to get to the place I am in right now. I feel free. I am free of abuse, I am free of negative energy in my home, I am free of judgmental people, free of machismo men who thought they could control me, I am free of everything that was keeping me confined to thought processes that were obsessively full of fear and sadness. When you lose someone suddenly this is normal. But what I did was not normal, I left my own country and changed my life completely. I will never regret my decision to do what I have done, I have evolved and I know another language.
I wake up to silence, not my iPad on a news station saying the same things over and over. This is how I would go to sleep since Misha died, almost 8 years now: cable news blah,blah, the same noise said again and again. Sad isn’t it? To think it took me 8 years to get to silence when I live in Paradise. The only sounds I should want to hear are the birds singing, the rain falling, the sound of music I put on when I make my coffee in the morning.
I could lay in bed on many days and not get up. I don’t allow myself this luxury. I know I need to get going and function. I have known this since the shock from the death of my daughter left me. I would not allow myself to fall off a cliff in despair. I would not allow myself to use as an excuse her death to become a sad human being, or to become filled with anger at her murderer. I used her death to better myself. But still I lacked silence. My brain would not quit.
I started this blog, I learned to take photos and use them to share the beauty I live in. To show my hummingbirds to the world, to show my flowers and a different way of life to all. It has not been easy but I have found the silence I crave inside my brain. With that all the photos and videos I take enrich me more than ever. They bring me to a place that I have been striving to find. Quiet. Pure and complete stillness of being, and sometimes that elusive happiness.
The hands of the old man are full of history, the face of the woman so interested in what is going on below her, the bridge I am standing on. The old man just sitting and watching. Wisdom, weathered faces, old wood rotting but still beautiful on the bridge. Beauty in different ways. I carry my camera and just wait for these moments. Moments that tell stories. Stories of life that we will never know, but we can imagine.
I came to Colombia to discover a new way to live. Life without a need for anything but my camera and my animals. I found this and more. I found out material things mean nothing to me, just give me a walk in the forest, a drive through a small pueblo, a random moment that I will never see again except through a photo I have taken. This is the way I want to live my life.
I just want to sit in an old chair and look for those moments where I find that freedom from caring about anything but living in the now. I am still working on this, but every day brings me closer to that freedom.
Growth for 2018 means flying free to me. Slowly, I am becoming independent here in Colombia. I wrote in my last blog that I have problems with trust since moving to Colombia. It is sad but true, when you are an American living abroad in South America, people try to cheat you. This is a fact of life here. I find those I really trust never let me down. But then there are the opportunists.
These opportunists are bountiful and they are very charming. What they don’t realize is I can speak and understand Spanish now. I can answer my business calls, I can talk professionally with anyone who calls as long as I tell them to speak slower. I can check out prices and I have friends in high places who really appreciate my love of the new Colombia. I am showing to the world Colombia is a place to visit and enjoy. A place I have made my home. I won’t leave and am determined to not let anything get in the way of my success.
With that I am going to continue my journey moving forward with pride and without worries of fortune hunters and gossip not worthy of my time.
Life is about living in the now, it is about your opportunities. So when I hear the word opportunist again, I will think of all the freedom I have here in Colombia to enjoy nature and my animals. I will think of the beauty of my hummingbirds. I will think of myself. You see, I have so many reasons to be grateful. Those who try to take advantage of my kindness and trust will learn there is steel beneath my surface. A real purpose to continue on in my quest to show the world what determination is. Stay tuned, I am only doing better with each encounter that allows me advancement with my personal experiences.
This blog is for those who want to give up because it is sometimes difficult to overcome the way others may treat you. Don’t give up, keep going. Use the determination of your power and strength to help others succeed. That is what I am doing, one day at a time.
Treasure the friendships you make, and learn from the times that you found out someone was not who you thought they were. Life lessons, we can use them or we lose them.