Posted in child death, Devastating sadness, Disappointment, expat life, freedom, Grief, parents of deceased children, sadness, Uncategorized


Devastation is part of my life. Like a dark cloud that follows me with too many downpours. The thunderous clouds roll in, then the lightening strikes with such intensity I fall to the ground inside my brain. I cannot function. My already shattered heart breaks into smaller pieces. I silently look at the sky, the sun peaks out a bit and for a moment I feel hope. Then I remember I’ve lost another part of myself. I know the sun is behind those clouds and will appear again but it is not certain it will stay. I’ve learned to live my life with these painful moments.

Recently, I found love or so I thought. I came to the United States to see my boyfriend. I came to see him with the thought this will be fun going back and forth to Colombia because I could see my granddaughter more often. What I didn’t expect was the situation that occurred immediately with my granddaughter. I was denied visitation and my right to see her. It was devastating. I’m taking care of the situation but to be in town and not have her to enjoy and participate in my activities made me very sad. Not stressed out, but  grief-stricken. I felt the same way I did when Misha was murdered. I had a day of  weeping sadness. Yet, no one was murdered I just might never see my granddaughter again.

One day. Think about that, one day of normal human emotion.

So here is the reason I was dumped. I’m never going to be able to come to the United States and be happy. Really? I’ve learned long ago to accept situations that are without reason. Mean people who don’t want me to find out things that are happening, things that are most likely illegal. I have a boyfriend in the United States and suddenly I will be there more. I’m denied my rights to see my granddaughter.

Imagine my surprise when he dumped me. The man who said I’m amazing for what I’ve accomplished through all of  this adversity. One day of  natural behavior and he can’t be with me. I’m never going to be happy when I visit the USA. It’s not about what I have or don’t have. It’s about being sad. That was it. He said I’m always going to live here, you will live there. Yes that is true. I was blindsided by what happened with my granddaughter. She is the only part left of my deceased daughter.

That is all it took, one day of sadness.

So, I am going back to my paradise and to my peaceful existence in Colombia. I’m done with him. I don’t give second chances at my age. I’m in good hands with a lawyer I highly recommend. Howard Friedman of Ft. Lauderdale. He is going to take care of this situation once and for all. I’m heartbroken not to have my Amaya, but I’m in good hands. And that guy, he is history.






I am an American who moved to Colombia to find peace after the devastating loss of my daughter. I bought and renovated a Villa, am learning Spanish, and writing as catharsis. This blog will be like a book with chapters. Each blog will be about my life in Colombia and my adventures. I hope you will enjoy the many new discoveries I am making every day about myself and another culture.

9 thoughts on “Disappointment

  1. Hope you hired a “Family Attorney”, not just ANY ATTORNEY. Your son most have presented before the Court a reason to keep you away from your granddaughter…Maybe his partner ( or wife ) gave Him the idea? Fight for your right to be a grandmother. Request your granddaughter be able to go to Colombia for vacation and you be able to show her the beauty of a country, and not a city. Never give up. Your only one. Good luck!


    1. Howard Friedman is a not any attorney, he is family law and one of the best lawyers in Florida. He has offices in Naples also. This man has seen me go through hell. He has gotten me out of hell. He is my biggest champion. He is moral, upstanding and a bad ass. I would tell anyone that he is what you want for anything family law. He is my fiercest defender. Olga this is about my visitation of my granddaughter.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Michelle
    I’ve been following your story through your blog I think you are really great as a writer. I think that this whole thing with your ex guy happened way too fast.. often when things go fast it ends way faster. There’s a time for anything and I think getting to know a person it’s something you can’t do easily. It happened to me once and it sucks!! Maybe you needed to learn something about this.

    Hopefully everything gets better with your granddaughter and your life. My best regards to you.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m over him, but still sad to be here’s in Florida and not see her. I believe that he regrets it already, but The cruelty was inexcusable. Shows a different side. He was told by me from the beginning I have problems in Florida. I am sure when I followed my lawyers advice and the swat showed up along with other officers it freaked him out. I don’t blame him, but he is no bad ass like my lawyer


  3. Michelle, I am so sorry your new man didn’t work out.. Some things are not meant to be because there’s something better around the corner. I’m sorry, too, about your granddaughter but I’ll bet that will work out. Taking away the connection that you are to her mom is mean and mostly hurtful to the little girl. Stay strong.


    1. It is very hurtful to my granddaughter, and psychologically damaging. There are studies on this and the court now takes any kind of alienation seriously. She was controlled to call me on a persons phone and tell me she didn’t want to see me. That is brainwashed behavior. I’m scared for her. But I will say again, Howard Friedman wins and he doesn’t like this sort of behavior from adults who seek to harm children.


      1. I’m glad to hear you have a strong attorney in your corner. It means everything. BTW, you don’t suppose the boyfriend has a record of some sort?


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