I am an American who moved to Colombia to find peace after the devastating loss of my daughter. I bought and renovated a Villa, am learning Spanish, and writing as catharsis. This blog will be like a book with chapters. Each blog will be about my life in Colombia and my adventures. I hope you will enjoy the many new discoveries I am making every day about myself and another culture.
Every year when the anniversary of my daughter’s death approaches I face the dilemma about whether or not I should remark about it on my Facebook. I then think of Misha and what she would want. She would definitely want to have the spotlight for a day. So I put a memorial to her on my feed.
This year I was overwhelmed with the lovely thoughts everyone has written, and I want to thank you for them. As the years go by I worry I will forget memories or they will fade, sometimes I even get her age wrong. How can this be? I think because I will always remember her as 20 years old: the age at which she left this world. I have so many photos of her growing up and I sometimes look through them just to refresh my mind about life moments that were special. It hurts of course when I look through past memories but they also make my heart smile.
Misha was a lover of social media, she got me started on Facebook, and Twitter. I am so inept at these things that I talk to her in my mind sometimes when I am trying to figure a new app out, when something can’t be downloaded, or is downloaded but I don’t know where to look for it. She was a whiz at all of it and as the years pass and we become more entwined with all that social media offers, such as Netflix, Smart TV’s, all the phones and more that are our lifelines I know she would be loving all of it.
So thank you all for taking a moment out of your day to send love to me and to Misha who is still with me everyday here in my beautiful Villa. She is with me when I look at the hummingbirds, or when I rescue one. She is with me when the beautiful Ibis that have made their resting spot in the Norfolk pine come to visit. She is with me because I buried her ashes in a garden made especially for her, and I see the butterflies all around her on the flowers. She is with me because she loved animals and she would love all of mine. She is with me in my heart until I leave this world and hopefully am reunited with her soul.
When I first moved to Villa Migelita I had a duck house. These eggs were the first ever and I was so excited to have them. Alas, out of all these eggs only one little duckling survived. I have si…
When I first moved to Villa Migelita I had a duck house. These eggs were the first ever and I was so excited to have them. Alas, out of all these eggs only one little duckling survived. I have since not allowed my duck to sit on eggs because they don’t survive long and I find it heartbreaking.
This box was moved to the hen-house and then I had wonderful results. It was turned a different way and look what happened.
Healthcare: If you can obtain a Visa here in Colombia you will get a Cedula which is the country ID in Colombia. The different Visas available in Colombia are listed on the Colombian government we…
Healthcare: If you can obtain a Visa here in Colombia you will get a Cedula which is the country ID in Colombia. The different Visas available in Colombia are listed on the Colombian government website: most are pretty easy to obtain. We have social security cards in the USA and the Cedula is similar : but it shows your blood type and a number that registers you to the country of Colombia. You need this card to get healthcare, you need this card to show your identification anywhere as a person living in Colombia. It is more important than a driver’s license. Colombian healthcare is not socialized, you can shop the different healthcare companies. They make you take a physical and then they rate you by your health. Colombia does not turn people down, but the rating of good health gives you an advantage. I can never emphasize enough how much I love my healthcare here, the peace of mind it gives me. For more information you can write me below in the comments. I want everyone to know the benefits and the care I have received living under the Colombian healthcare system is like nothing I have had in my life. And the price: did I mention I have the prepaid Gold plan for around 120 dollars per month ?
Great Climates for everyone: Colombia offers so much diversity, you can travel the country and look for a department that you feel is perfect for you! The Pacific and Atlantic coasts are warm and humid, the Andes offer cold weather, so does Bogotá. Then you have the Amazon which is hot and humid and the biggest department of Colombia. The Valle del Cauca where I live is quite diverse. The mountainous regions are cool, perfect temperatures, but the cities of Cali and Palmira are hot oftentimes. You just need to decide on what it is you want and you will be able to find the perfect location. Another reason to come and explore Colombia!
Real Estate: Colombia still offers affordable real estate. You can buy for a very reasonable price, or you can rent anywhere for so little you won’t even want to buy. Most places for rent are not furnished. You will most likely have to supply your own refrigerator, washer, dryer, furniture and any electronics. But you can find a beautiful place in most any department for around 400 to 500$ per month. Furnished places are more expensive. I suggest anyone who wants to try out living in another country to rent for at least a year. Then you will know if you like the area. If you don’t you can try another spot. It is so worth it though, especially for the healthcare. Healthcare alone makes moving to another country worth it.
Learn a New Language: The language barrier. ARGH it still is haunting me, but I can speak Spanish now. It is certainly not perfect, but I can communicate. Learning a new language is an endeavor that is not easy. Especially Spanish: all those damn rules will never be perfect for me. However, I love that I speak two languages. It is an achievement I am quite proud of and I will never understand anyone making fun of someone for an accent or improper verbage when speaking a language not their own. At least they know two languages. Do you?
Cost of Living: You can live really well anywhere in Latin America on a fixed income. You do not have all the variables that you have to put in your budget in the USA. Healthcare is so reasonable and there are no deductibles, you can get a prescription without going to a doctor! Your grocery bill is one-third of the cost in the US. You can buy fresh meat, chicken, fish at the local Galleria. This area of business is in all Colombian cities and they also sell produce and supplies for farms and pets. Also the food is organic. You don’t have all the insurances you pay in the USA. What a big savings that is!
The People: Colombian people have been rated time and again as the happiest in the world. After living here for 6 years I will agree and they also have lovely manners. If you walk into a doctor’s office everyone will look at you and say hello. If you have a favorite restaurant, they will learn your name. The friends you make will be your friends for life. They will also help you learn their language without any snide looks or eye rolls. They will correct you and they will practice with you. They will be your forever friends. I love my friends here, and I respect them more.
Nature: If you love nature, if you love the mountains, if you love the ocean, if you love biodiversity and the perseverance of the animal kingdom, then Colombia is your place to live! I see big construction projects all over my area of the Valle del Cauca: but they leave the trees alone. We have trees that date back over 350 years here. The Colombian people respect that nature is first. I love that and so will you if that is as important to you. We have the most species of butterflies, birds, fruits and flowers in Colombia.
Departments of Colombia: There are 32 departments in Colombia. Departments in Colombia are like what we call States in the USA. If you decide you want to visit Colombia you need to see a few of these departments and enjoy our tourism. I am still traveling and finding new places to visit. My department the Valle del Cauca is known for the agriculture, but also includes Buenaventura where the shipping port is. We have many forests and waterfalls, and a great amount of hummingbirds, bird species and butterflies.We are also famous for Parapente, because we have great wind currents. If you love the beach then you will want to include Cartagena, Choco, and Santa Marta in your travel plans. You can watch whales in Choco, sunbathe and eat great food in Cartagena, hike mountains and see the ocean in Santa Marta. We have a bit of everything to offer in Colombia. We also have rivers that turn colors like Cano Cristales, and then the Amazon which is adventure travel with lots of water and animal life, including pink dolphins.
Peaceful living: If you like to live peacefully without drama then you need to move to another country. I am very happy in my mountain home high in the mountains. I hear frogs at night when I fall asleep, I hear birds when I awake in the morning. I can be down to the city in 25 minutes, but I can stay at my house and never see a crowd. It is about what I want on any particular day. I am at peace in a beautiful home I have remodeled and it is heaven on Earth. Believe me, life is good.
You can start a business without any fuss: I started the business of my Bed and Breakfast. I didn’t do much. I am on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and I have my own blog and website. I don’t do much to advertise my place. I haven’t needed to. You just have to have a small amount of capital and you can do what I have done. It is rewarding, it is fulfilling and it is on your terms.
A favorite photo of me when I first discovered the beauty of the country of Colombia. Riding the back roads on a motorcycle and exploring nature was all it took for me to want to change the lifestyle I had been living in the United States. I felt free, I felt the wanderlust hidden inside of me waiting to burst out like the flurry of the wind hitting my face as I road the little Suzuki motorcycle around the mountains.
My divorce, my advancing age, and my love of the mountains all came together to make the decision to seek an alternative lifestyle. One I do not regret. I am flourishing here in my adopted country. I find that no matter your life lessons, you can go on to accomplish great things even when you have found yourself beaten down by life. I started my new career as a hotel owner four years after this photo was taken.
Who can ever know what life has in store for us? We have to wing it sometimes, and I have. I am discovering new things about me, what I am capable of. Living my life for the moments that I encounter that bring me joy. Colombia is also coming around, being named by many prominent publications as the country to visit in 2017. A little country full of great people, wonderful nature, and inexpensive to visit.
The number 89 butterfly of Colombia
One thing I have definitely learned is life is about accomplishments, not possessions. Let the allure of whatever is your secret desire pull you into that path, that walk, that direction. Just go for it! Life is short, a cliche I know, but true. Don’t let your life pass you by!
When I moved to Colombia in 2011 I never thought I would be enjoying the wonderful life I have today. Colombia has moved on, just like I have. Peace is on the horizon in Colombia. I have a life fil…
When I moved to Colombia in 2011 I never thought I would be enjoying the wonderful life I have today. Colombia has moved on, just like I have. Peace is on the horizon in Colombia. I have a life filled with peace and nature.
I will never say I am completely happy, I don’t believe it is possible. But I will say I am grateful. I am grateful I had the strength to go through 6 years of improvement. I have worked hard. I have turned my life around. I left a destructive and very dysfunctional life. I have found my niche in Colombia.
Be kind to yourself. Stop the mad dash for a Christmas present that will probably be put in a closet to be re-gifted. Christmas is for children, and they enjoy those wonderful presents. As for adults, isn’t it better spent enjoying the beauty that surrounds us? Whether it be family, nature, inspiration, happiness where you can grab it, friendships, animals, travel, anything that really moves you in your core. Embrace that, not material things. You can stop right now. Just be you. Enjoy those who you are blessed to have in your life. Nothing is ever perfect. I know that. But look around and make a list of all that fulfills you.
I live in a beautiful home in Colombia. I have the love of my animals. I have my business and wonderful guests who give me new perspectives on everything. They give me companionship, they give me laughter, they give me their thoughts on my Villa in Colombia, they teach me new recipes, they give me comfort and support, they give me a life filled with purpose. I have discovered all those years of working as a flight attendant has given me a lifetime of training to become the mistress of my own domain. But, I have learned to include other’s opinions. That is a path I embrace.
When you have a life of meaning you have it all. This is the best present to yourself. I know that from my past. Life is too be lived in the now. If you can appreciate what this season really means, no matter your religion, your beliefs, you can find your path. If you can look around your home and see anything that makes you smile with fond remembrance, just one thing you are grateful for, you will be ahead of others who are rushing to buy a present that means nothing. Carve your own path to success in 2017. It might be a small path, but it is a beginning.
Stay strong, stay focused, stay determined and you will find your path to success. I have.
I know things can change if you want them to, at any age. I have reinvented myself. I have found out I can do more than I ever expected in my life by following my free will, my intuition. I have found a niche of personal peace here in Colombia. Life is a roller coaster ride of memories and experiences. It took 52 years of life for me to make my way to Colombia. In my own way I went on a pilgrimage of learning. Learning Spanish, learning a new culture, learning to be alone with myself and loving it, learning to navigate my life without approval from anyone. I am stronger. I am resilient. I challenge myself daily to do more, achieve more, to be kinder, more patient and more loving to others. To try to understand the other person’s point of view, to not judge anyone based on my past experiences, gossip, innuendo, to forgive and move on. It takes courage to grow wiser.
What I have done with my life is called evolving. When life isn’t working for you, then you need to look at what needs to be done to make life work. Be brave, be spontaneous, be smart and be wise. Get rid of the ‘stuff’ in your life that is holding you back. That ‘stuff’ could be your house which is full of ‘more stuff’, people who you have no need to be connected with anymore, too many clothes and buying sprees, the need for attention, the need for personal possessions that are just more clutter in your life. Whatever it is that causes you personal pain, you need to let it go. I did. I have arrived into a place of personal security. Not one of wealth, but a place that brings me satisfaction. I will never be rid of my sadness from my daughter’s death. I will never say I am completely happy, but I will say I am at peace with my life as I live it.
Colombia has made my life as complete as it can be. I have started a business by ‘the seat of my pants’ as my deceased mother would say. I didn’t have a great plan worked out, but I have been successful. I have a purpose in life. When I get up in the morning I am occupied, I am busy, I am full of hope for what I can accomplish. That in itself is worthy.
To say I’m devastated is an understatement about the Tennessee fires in Gatlinburg. As the mother of a deceased child there are triggers that bring back the pain of loss. A song. A smell. A place. A memory.
Yesterday a community that is so special to my heart was all over social media because it is burning. Gatlinburg, Tennessee. The beautiful Smoky mountains where I spent 12 summers with my children. A place so like where I live now; Colombia, South America. When I first came to Colombia I noticed the similarities immediately. Now that I live here, I am reminded of the lovely times in the Smoky mountains, recollections of complete happiness. Enjoying my children’s childhood as they spent their time outside playing, hiking, learning to love nature like I do.
We had property in a plush RV resort just outside of Gatlinburg. My son learned to swim and ride a bike there. My daughter was only 4 when we first started spending time in Gatlinburg, my son a new baby just a few months old. We were there for the opening of the Aquarium that was a favored spot to visit with my children. We had my children’s friends from South Florida come with us for the summer every year. There was the 4th of July parade where they decorated their bikes while us adults watched as they rode through the RV park. The hikes on the many trails in the Smoky Mountains, the tubing in the freezing water, and the swimming in natural pools. The sadness of leaving when it was time to pack up and go home, back to our huge house after living in a trailer for a summer. Maybe this is why I’m a minimalist now. Those times in our trailer were the happiest times I remember. I could spend all my time with my children instead of always cleaning and keeping the perfect house. I cherished my summers in the Great Smoky Mountains.
A painting Misha did in Elementary School of the Smoky Mountains
Me with the kids on a hike in Gatlinburg
No Way Jose’s of Gatlinburg T-shirts
My son started tubing early in Gatlinburg
The complete freedom we felt living a life that was one with nature. I even ruptured my ACL while telling a story around a campfire. A funny remembrance that my daughter Misha loved to retell to all of her friends as she grew up. I was telling a ghost story around a campfire and slipped on a small hill that was wet from an earlier rain. The kids all thought I was acting, but I was crying out in pain! The using of dryer sheets in our hair to keep the gnats away (like in the photo above). The special places we frequented, and loved. The sighting of a bear, a deer, of nature. The visits to Cade’s Cove. The back to school shopping in Pigeon Forge, the season passes to Dollywood and the many country music concerts we attended of up and coming stars. We saw Keith Urban, Brad Paisley, Sawyer Brown, Steve Wariner, and many more before they were really huge country favorites. That tiny theater at Dollywood was a place I will never forget. Yes, these memories keep my daughter alive in my mind.
Now Gatlinburg is burning. I see the places I frequented gone. The small wedding chapel that Keith Urban told a story about when he came onstage at Dollywood is gone. He was coming to play our concert : he stopped and entered the ceremony and sang for the bride and groom!
The Wedding Chapel near Dollywood
The Welcome Center of the Smoky Mountains. This was the first place I visited with my children when I fell in love with Gatlinburg.
The Place every visitor to the Smoky Mountains needs to visit before exploring the beauty of nature in Gatlinburg
The nature that was the most important part of these beautiful mountains.
The ride through Cade’s Cove with my daughter on bicycles and the spotting of baby bear cubs. Seeing wild Turkey’s, and deer grazing. How can I not feel sad? This was a time of my life that was joyous, without stress, and with many lovely memories.
So I wrote my ex husband and one of the children whom my kids grew up with. The ORA resort is still standing. My ex and I might not get along, but we remember these wonderful times. The memories keep us in sync, no matter where we have gone in our lives. My children’s childhood friend who is now a grown man gave me some good advice. He said “the ecosystem has had this happen before, it will grow and reproduce. The poor of Sevier county will have new jobs to benefit growth of the community. This will pass like the hurricanes that hit, or Earthquakes in other countries.” It was oddly calming to me. A man now, but I remember him as a child. He had a great way of making me feel better.
So I will let my heart grieve as I always do, a past time when my daughter was alive, when I was extremely happy. A culture, a life that I loved and still love. The outdoors. It is burning in Gatlinburg, TN. But I am enjoying nature here in Colombia. A life of freedom and peace. I need to learn to let things go, the things I have no control over. We all do.
