Uncategorized – Page 33 – Hummings from Paradise

Lessons, Learning, Loving

Posted on August 23, 2014August 23, 2014 by hummingsfromparadise

I have lived on my farm in Colombia, South America for over three years now, and what a learning experience it has been! When I first moved into Villa Migelita, I was not pleased with the way life on the farm was turning out. I had moved from a house in a small thriving city that I could walk down and get bread in the morning, or go to the pizza place at night. I had access to a store with fruits and vegetables, most anything I could need. I had neighbors and family nearby. My quest for the perfect farm was fun. We looked a lot; it was interesting and the farms were all beautiful, but they all had something that I did not like or not suitable for my needs. Then one day I saw Villa Migelita. I knew from the moment I set my eyes on my Villa she was the one I had searched for. She was old; close to 100 years on this earth. She was in need of lots of renovation, but her basic structure was so perfect it reminded me of Italian Villa’s that I had seen during my travels as a flight attendant. Then I took some photo’s and one photo had an orb in the picture and I knew this was my deceased daughter Misha telling me this was my farm, the one I had searched for; a clear sign from her. I made an offer and soon was the proud owner of Villa Migelita.

January of 2012 was the month I finally accomplished my life long dream of retiring in the mountains, a dream I have had since spending summers in Tennessee as my children grew up. Villa Migelita had basic renovations completed before my move. Her rooms were all painted; along with adding large windows throughout the house. All the views surrounding her were magnificent. She still needed much work, but living there would be fine; or so I thought. My first months were a learning experience. Colombia has two seasons; rainy and dry. There is no real seasonal change here in my department of Valle del Cauca, Colombia. I loved the temperature immediately upon moving in. Very chilly in the mornings and evenings; enough to always need a jacket, but then by the middle of the day comfortable without a jacket and no need of air conditioning. The doors and windows were always open with the fresh breeze flowing throughout my home. My animals were thrilled with the wide open spaces they had to wander the farm, and the dogs loved the walks they took with me while I discovered the mountains and rivers nearby. Sounds perfect; but then little things started happening that I was not so happy with. The rain would cause mud, mud would be all over the house, patio and my laundry area as my dogs would walk in it and carry mud wherever they went. One day I was down in the laundry area and there were little worms everywhere! I was horrified. My gas water heater did not work with the plumbing and would either let out scalding water or not work and the water would be ice-cold. The first week I threw a tantrum of sorts after not having a hot shower. I look back at that morning and laugh now. It was a simple fix of just buying electric shower heads. The construction was ongoing, and I knew things would get better, however I was neglecting to see the beauty around me and focusing on the annoyances. Going to get groceries or going to a restaurant seemed a far distance now. I thought to myself “Could I have misjudged my love of solitude and life in the mountains?” I started to dislike the rain, even though I have always loved rainy days. I started to feel lonely, even though I have always loved spending time without a lot of people around. I started to second guess myself. Along with that I had not been to the States for a very long time and I missed my friends and family. I booked a trip to the USA to get a taste of my old life.

Going to the States was exactly what I needed. I was not used to the big highways and hectic lifestyle of the United States,I realized this the minute I drove my rental car on I-95 from Miami International Airport. YIKES. My first big wake-up was getting used to the traffic I encountered. I had lived in Colombia for over a year and had gotten used to small towns, simple living and nature. I will admit the Colombian’s drive crazy, but the roads in the city are small and when I drive I go slow and take my time; if you do not drive slow you will hit a bicycle, horse-drawn carriage, wheelchair, pedestrian or someone pushing a cart with fruits or juice for sale! Another thing I noticed immediately was no one really looks you in the eye in Florida (and anywhere I travel when in the States), nor do they say hello when you walk into an office or store. In Colombia it is considered impolite to not acknowledge others when in offices or entering any building or business. This is a cultural difference between the two countries. I had forgotten that the people of the USA are more involved with their phones and electronic devices than connecting to the world by smiling and even just looking up from their phones. I had been just like this when I lived in Florida, my phone was always in my hand wherever I went. I have a little phone now in Colombia, it is a basic Nokia you all had in the 1990’s! I have a pre-paid phone without internet in the States. I had completely lost the habit of constantly being online, I had changed from my old ways to a new way of thinking and living. I did enjoy running to the drug store, or going to the super stores of all kinds. We do have some huge stores in Cali, Colombia along with malls and huge construction stores in both Palmira and Cali, however it is never a short drive to them like it is in the States. I found the shopping fun while I was back in Florida, but again it was so impersonal. The crowds inside all the stores would make me feel anxious. This was new to me; almost like I had never lived and grown up in South Florida. How did I change so quickly and forget the way I used to live? Colombia was my way of life now and by returning to South Florida I was able to see this clearly.

When I came home to Villa Migelita, my animals were all awaiting me with such love. I saw that some changes had taken place with a fence being constructed around the patio to help keep the mud at bay when it rained. The garbage from all the continuing construction had been burned and taken away. The little worms that had appeared never came back. The laundry room had been organized and cleaned up perfectly, and it was huge. I now had a perfect place to feed the animals and keep cleaning supplies. I will admit that I missed a dryer when I first moved up to the mountains. In the small town where I had rented before moving, the house had a laundry area inside and the clothes dried quickly on the line. During rainy season it can take a couple of days for clothes to dry on the line. I got used to it, and now I would never even consider owning a dryer. I like the way I can just take my clothes right from the line on a hanger and put them in my closet. I also realized I was a minimalist now. I have no need for a bunch of new clothes or the latest electronic device. I am so backward I have no idea how to work an I pad and am just now considering buying one. I know that sounds funny to everyone, but it is how I live. My trip to the States gave me a lesson I needed to see. I really loved the life I now was living in the mountains and I just could not see it when I first moved into a house that still needed a lot of work. When I came back I had a learned a valuable lesson; I was not whom I used to be, I was evolving and sometimes when we evolve we need a wake-up call to see just that!

So now I am almost done with the last phase of construction at Villa Migelita. Villa Migelita has been a work in progress for 2 plus years. I have become one with nature. I have made my outside farm beautiful by hiring a farm manager that keeps the flowers and plants in perfect condition. I have a huge front entrance gate that will have a sign welcoming my guests of my soon to open Bed and Breakfast. The entrance road to my house is lined with blooming flowers. I have hummingbird feeders everywhere. I have two beautiful kiosko’s that are perfect places to sit and read a book, while hummingbirds buzz by you. Hammocks are all around to take a little siesta. My lake was repaired and the landscaping is now full of plants I picked out and they are flourishing. I have acquired a menagerie of animals, and they all leave peacefully with each other. The mud problem is no longer an issue; but my dogs do have dirty feet sometimes and I don’t care. They are my loves; they are my friends. I have learned to let go of things that took me a lifetime to learn. I have learned to let go and let be. As I write this I look outside at the hummingbirds feeding and resting on the lemon tree. I have no desire to return to fancy clothes, jewelry and cars. I do not think there is anything wrong with that lifestyle, I lived it for years. I just like this lifestyle better. I have learned to love solitude. I have learned to love and appreciate seeing a butterfly land on my finger, or a hummingbird fly inside to visit me, which you can view here.

I have realized the longer I live here in the mountains of Colombia the closer I am to accomplishing my dream of a Bed and Breakfast. This dream was always in my thoughts when I first moved to Villa Migelita. I was always considering this dream in the back of my mind as I continued to update my home. Then one day I decided to go for it. After all I had been a flight attendant for years and I love people, getting to know new friends, and entertaining in my home. What better way to do that than to bring people to see what I have accomplished in a short period? To show others you can fulfill your secret desires even when faced with crippling pain like the death of my daughter. Now I am so close to opening, it will happen soon. I am ready. I have no more frustrations or second guessing. I have only optimism for my future. I have learned to love myself for the person I have become since the past sadness I have endured. I want to show others it is not necessary to let life’s worst circumstances take you down. My future is firmly embedded here in the mountains of Colombia. I will prevail. This is Villa Migelita now. This is the view from the 4th floor balcony which looks out over the valley.

Villa Migelita is a two short months from completion. My website is http://www.villamigelita.com with all the information in the tabs. I will have more pictures soon, but you can always look at my Facebook page Villa Migelita for continuing updates on the progress of the Bed and Breakfast and more of fun videos of my life and my animals in the mountains of Colombia.

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A Psychic/Medium Visits Villa Migelita

Posted on August 8, 2014August 8, 2014 by hummingsfromparadise

When the Medium arrived at Villa Migelita we went to the stables and into a small private room that is part of this building which is separate from my main house. She wanted complete silence and privacy. She had me sit in a chair across from her. I will not show how she does her readings as that is knowledge she has from generations before her. She prays before every name presented and acknowledges her gift is from God. She is very religious. She speaks very quietly when she talks, it was hard to hear her at times. She is a bit of everything; psychic, healer, and medium. My experience was well worth the time and was absolutely fascinating to me; she told me things she had no way of knowing. She was spot on with much of what she said to me. It is important for everyone who reads this to know that she did not enter my main house until after the session, she had no views of any photo’s in my house. She did not know my name until I told it to her. She speaks Spanish only and would not have access to any history of me through my social media nor had she seen my Facebook pages. Everything I write is as she told it to me.

She started by telling me things about my health. She mentioned I had pain in my legs, that this pain awoke me at night. I do get cramps at night in my feet and calves that make me jump out of bed. She mentioned my head, asking what caused me the discomfort I experience? This of course is vertigo, which I have struggled with for almost one year. She mentioned I had some back problems from an accident long ago, but felt I was doing better with that pain. All true so far. She said she saw money around me, money people are trying to hide from me, which made me think of my daughter’s death and the guy who killed her. She saw a dark-skinned person in my life, saying he was the color of her skin. She saw protective spirits always near me, they watched over me. She said signs surrounded me that came to me as messengers. She wanted to know who the beautiful child with coffee-colored skin was? She said she was lovely and that she felt her presence in my aura. I did not answer her questions as I had more people to ask about, and did not want to give her any information. She saw success around me, she mentioned that many people would be visiting her beautiful country because of me. She said there was someone from my past that wished harm to me and my new life, but not to worry as he was not a person of God and bad karma would come to him from many things he has done. She said this person had recently cheated me with money that involved my former home in the United States. This really shocked me because I had just found this out. She saw a deep sadness, but also strength inside my heart. She said I moved to her country for peace, and that I would find it here in Colombia. She described me as a flower opening to the fullness of life. She finished with me by saying she saw a person that looked like me but was younger who was strongly present during her reading of me. She said she sends you messages through hummingbirds and butterflies, and just then a hummingbird flew inside the dark little room and stayed for a moment. I had chills.

I gave her my daughter’s name next. She had to repeat her name a few times to pronounce it correctly. Then she was quiet for a few minutes and said “She is not of this world, I sense cold.” She then repeated there is a dark-skinned person in her aura, the same color of my skin, he is the father of the child I saw before. She said “This is your daughter? She looks like you. She died from betrayal. She had bad people around her when she died.” She emphasized that “Misha wanted me to continue trying to get justice for her death.” She then described in great detail the night of the murder. She said there was involvement by the person whom she was trying to help, meaning the woman in the car that she saw get hit by a car that left the scene. You can read the article here. She said that the man who killed her could have swerved, but deliberately hit Misha with his car. She said Misha was told to stop by someone as she hurried to help the person in the car she saw get hit. She again repeated that Misha’s death was a deliberate act, she also was emphatic that another person was involved on the night of her death. Once again she said there was a lot of money around my daughter’s death that people were trying to hide from me. She said “This money is the reason that justice has not been served.” She wanted me to know Misha came to me the night of her death, that she woke me up as she left this Earth to go to the spiritual plane. She saw a lot of love around Misha but also a lot of regrets. She mentioned Misha wanted my grandchild with me more, and that she saw that happening in the future. She said Misha is with her daughter all the time, she even talked about a time when I was on the beach with Amaya. She mentioned I was with an old friend and that friend also knew my daughter when she was young. She said “Misha talked to Amaya that day, she told Amaya she was her guardian angel.” I had a very dear friend contact me the next day that she dreamt of Misha on the beach with Amaya and the dream was so real she had to tell me! She finished by saying Misha knew the man who killed her, that Misha had repeatedly tried to get this man to leave her alone. She did not say how they knew one another, but that Misha told him she was not interested in him. He was stalking Misha. She described the killer’s looks exactly, short, fat, with a name that sounded foreign. She ended the session about Misha by saying that as I always did in life Misha was counting on me to defend her in her death. She wants to see justice so she can rest in peace. The last thing she said floored me “Misha says a man who looks like you with blue eyes and white skin is going to help you get justice.” The only person she could be talking about is my best friend, a lawyer who has helped me from the beginning of this travesty, he will be attending the trial with me when it takes place. He has done so much to help me since her death I can never thank him enough.

Then we went on to my ex-husband’s name. She said “This man is very depressed. He has become mean and spiteful, his wife just left him.” “This is the same man I saw that cheated you with the house” She went on to say that he was “spreading horrible chisme (malicious gossip in Spanish) about his current wife, which he had done with me also, and that karma would take care of his treachery.” She said my ex was responsible for saying “lies about me and making my friends from my former job unkind to me because they believed the lies.” She asked ” Was I involved in work at some point that involved airplanes?” Wow. Just unbelievable. No one knew my ex’s current wife had left him and contacted me, nor how could she know I worked on airplanes? I gave her my son’s name next. She said “Your son is very angry with the world, he has never had help with his sister’s death.” I did not tell her Misha was his sister nor I was his mother! “He just moved to a new house and is very unhappy.” How could she know these things? “He loves you but he is so angry about the time of the divorce and his sister’s death.” “He will be back in your life when he is a bit older.” How could she know these things?

We talked about a lot of people in my life, I gave her names and she responded. I included my mother and father who are both deceased, my brother, and Misha’s best friend and roommate at the time of her death. She said my father went from this world angry with his death, that he had problems in and around his lung, which she used her hand to show me on herself. All about my father was true. She got my mother mixed with my brother saying there were a lot of strokes around my brother…but actually it was my mother who had many strokes. She said my mother was with everyone she loved, including Misha and that her sister had just joined her. Again, how could she know these things? She finished by emphasizing that Misha wanted me to continue to pursue and do what I am doing to bring the killer to trial. Her killer is free on bail, showing no remorse and posts regularly on his Facebook page always with a drink in his hand, smiling, flaunting his freedom. It makes my stomach turn to see his face. My daughter Misha would be alive but for his callous disregard for human life, leaving the scene after he hit her and then stopping a few miles later to change his tire, and then remove the front bumper of his car that was hanging from the impact of her body. Misha would be getting ready for her daughter to start 1st grade. Misha would be finished with the college degree she was working on. She would be done with all the stuff our children do while trying to find themselves, Misha would be mothering her daughter and moving forward in life. Her killer lives normally, without restrictions of any kind because of family money and influence in the state of Louisiana. I have tried everything to get a trial to go forth. I have had everyone write to the Victim’s Advocate. I asked everyone to write the District Attorney’s office and to the judge Honorable Trudy M White. I have traveled to Baton Rouge to publicize the lack of justice in her murder. There is an online petition which needs only 60 signatures to get to 1000 and then I will send it to the State’s Senator. All of this in my pursuit of justice for my daughter.. The petition is here and I ask you to please sign in remembrance of Mikel (Misha) Carson. There is a trial scheduled for September 2nd. I pray that my daughter will see the justice she deserves from above.

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Life by the River

Posted on July 18, 2014 by hummingsfromparadise

I recently visited two small villages in Colombia and thoroughly enjoyed the beauty that surrounds them, and the thriving culture they have based on the rivers that support their communities. They have very humble homes, the hotels are very basic rooms, but very clean. The prices so reasonable. In Zabaleta’s I stayed right on the river with the most incredible view that the room did not matter because sitting outside on the balcony and watching the sunrise was awe-inspiring. These little pueblo’s have thriving populations and little stores with everything you could need. The restaurants are outside of people’s actual homes with the most delicious Colombian food, shrimp from the rivers and seafood from the coast of Buenaventura including lobster. Zabaleta’s, Colombia is known for their river of extreme beauty while San Cipriano, Colombia is known for the motorcycle powered tram that is the only way to get to their village AFTER you cross the hanging bridge which is intimidating. The river in San Cipriano is known for the swimming, tubing and snorkeling. The river in Zabaleta is known for its exquisite beauty. The farms along this gorgeous waterway are available for rent, which during certain times of the year both pueblo’s have not a single room or place available. In Zabaleta’s canoe’s will take you anywhere you want to go, picking you up at your hotel or at any farm. In San Cipriano you hire guides who will carry your tubes and take you to an exquisite waterfall.

San Cipriano is a 4 hour drive from Villa Migelita. Riding the motorcycle tram along with tubing fun and hiking in this beautiful spot was amazing. We left the Villa in the mid morning and were on the river tubing by 4pm and stayed in the water for 2 hours. The water was clean, and warm, I was surprised by the temperature! We brought wine with us and just drifted along laughing and enjoying the birds, sounds and sights of this lovely river. I have tubed in the mountains of Tennessee when my children were growing up and remember the rivers there to be like ice. This river was refreshing. The late afternoon tube ride was a blast. After the tubing we walked all around the village and had so much fun looking at other hostels and talking with the locals. We met our guide for the next day and arranged to have him pick us up the next morning for a long hike to a beautiful waterfall in the nearby rainforest. It was a challenging hike, with beautiful views and lot’s of butterflies and birds. Our guide told us that it is very important to have a person of knowledge take us on this journey because some tourists had just gotten lost on the same hike and were not found for 7 days! The result at the end of this challenging hike was a lovely waterfall that was surrounded by a natural pool. We all went swimming and it was a beautiful experience to go underneath the waterfall and let the water run over our bodies. . We stayed for a while and met up with another guide with tourists and walked down with them. The walk down was quick, and our tubes were waiting for another fun tubing experience after such a strenuous hike. We floated along, snorkeling and enjoying a perfect day. After lunch it was time to end our fun excursion and once again we took the tram. There is an actual little train station that you sit and wait for the tram. The tram is a delightful experience, we piled on with our luggage and dogs and took off with smiles on our faces.

While I thoroughly enjoyed San Cipriano, I had some problems with the hotel where I stayed. I would recommend to anyone who is going to visit San Cipriano to check out all the hotels on arrival. This is easy to do with all the guides that meet the tram when it stops in San Cipriano. The people are quite friendly and love to show off their hotels and cabana’s. We were cheated on the price of a meal at the hotel we stayed at. This hotel is called Don Hatel Cabana’s and Restaurant. I would definitely say do not stay there! The room had a private bath, but was nothing fancy. No TV, no space to put your articles of clothing or accessories. The shower, toilet, and sink were all together in a straight line, so when you showered the sink and toilet got wet. The restaurant was an outdoor kitchen in another building that also had rooms for rent. The food was just ok and when we went to pay the bill the proprietor doubled the price on us because she assumed I did not speak Spanish nor thought I lived in Colombia and would not know she was cheating us. Imagine her surprise when I challenged her in Spanish. I told her I would pay the bill but would find out if it was correct from other restaurants and hotels in the village. Well, it was not correct as the other restaurants were surprised by the amount she asked, and told me so! When we checked out I discounted what I paid for the room, after speaking in Spanish in front of other paying guests that she had cheated me. I asked those guests how much they were charged for the meals they were eating and it was half the price we had been charged. I told all of them of her cheating ways as they looked at her with disgust. Colombian’s love Americans and find such behavior abhorrent. She sent an employee running after me, but I ignored him and then went to another hotel for lunch and was asked how I enjoyed their village. I gave the name of the hotel I stayed at and told them of my bad experience. It will take her a long time to live down what she did to me with the other hotel proprietor’s in San Cipriano. I am sure she will think twice the next time an American visits her hotel. San Cipriano is wonderful and I would highly recommend the journey to anyone visiting Colombia, just make sure you compare prices and ask what the cost of a meal is before you eat!

The village of Zabaleta is a similar experience but is smaller and has more farms along their river. The canoes that will pick you up right at your front door (well almost) are wooden and handmade by the locals. Upon arrival in this quaint spot, we were met by many locals who gave us a nice place to park our truck and took us around to local hotels. We chose a very basic room with the bathroom down the hall. The views were incredible and the experience here absolutely perfect. I have had many experiences in my life, lot’s of camping trips, and Zabaleta’s is a place where I want to return to again and again. The charm factor is off the chart! The people of this village delightful. I loved every second I was there, even the room which was just a basic room with a bed. I slept well and will always remember watching the sunrise. The locals were delightful and the food just delicious. I can assure those who love coffee there is nothing like the home brewed coffee on the wood stove! The most wonderful part of Zabaleta’s is the children. They come along with their parent on the canoe ride. They are always smiling. Can anyone ask for a better experience?

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Thank you!

Posted on June 5, 2014June 5, 2014 by hummingsfromparadise

In my last blog I wrote about the last-minute cancellation of the trial of my daughter’s killer in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Once again the defense was granted another continuation by the Judge Trudy White. I asked everyone to write her to make sure the next trial is set and she allows no more continuations in this matter. You can read about how the prosecution allowed this to happen and notified me after I had booked an airline ticket, reserved a car and hotel room in my last blog

.I am sure Honorable Judge Trudy White received many letters from you my followers and I am writing this blog to thank you.

I thank all my over 500 followers on Facebook, Twitter, personal emails, and Google plus. If you want to add me to your circle at Google plus I would love to see you there! I am humbled by the amount of people who are taking part in my quest for #justiceformisha. She was taken to soon in life and the reality is that the deceased has no say in our legal system in the United States, but the defendant if powerful enough with a good lawyer can keep their client from facing a trial for many years. This strategy works if continued long enough because people forget, lose interest, go on with their lives, while the family of the deceased suffers from their loss and the injustice of the legal system that allows the defendant to work the system. I am only one person of millions with this problem. However, I refuse to let this defense team win this battle. I told the Victim’s Advocate when notified of the cancellation once again “this is war now” because they apparently are not concerned enough to fight for my daughter’s right to a trial, as the defense continues their manipulations.

I have a favor to ask all of you. A dear young woman who I barely know, but wanted to help myself and Misha, started a petition. This petition is here. I would like it to go viral with so many signatures to the Senator and Representative of Louisiana that no one will dare cancel The State Vs Christian Cvitanovich again. This petition will take you 30 seconds to sign and will not bring spam or any virus to your computer. We are lucky enough to live in a time where social media can change injustice. I am using this power to get the trial for my daughter. I was able to find out the next trial is on September 2, 2014. Please help me make sure it is not continued for a fifth time.

May God Bless all of you who are helping me get justice and a trial for my beloved daughter Mikel (Misha) Carson by writing letters and signing this petition. We the people should never have to go through what I am going through. Please speak out for me and for my daughter who no longer can speak for herself and was robbed of her life too early at the young age of twenty years old.

If you have not already, you can follow along with my life at Villa Migelita and what I have done since the death of my daughter. I am living in Colombia, South America in the mountains and starting a Bed and Breakfast this summer. The hummingbirds, flowers, butterflies and mountain views help with my sadness. This blog helps me get my thoughts down on paper and is a healing process for me. I appreciate all of you who read my blog regularly, and once again I am humbled by the people who I only know through the power of the Internet that are taking this cause into their heart and using actions to affect change. Michele~

References:
https://hummingsfromparadise.wordpress.com/2014/05/31/happiness-vs-closure/
http://www.change.org/petitions/state-sen-mack-white-bring-justice-to-mikel-misha-carson-who-was-killed-on-jan-31-2010?share_id=kelRAjFLEI&utm_campaign=share_button_action_box&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=share_petition
https://plus.google.com/116678846462542605355/posts
http://www.facebook.com/VillaMigelita
http://www.villamigelita.com

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Happiness vs Closure

Posted on May 31, 2014May 31, 2014 by hummingsfromparadise

Happiness it eludes me, I reach, I stretch my arms out reaching…reaching…reaching…but it is never there right in my hands. Just when I touch it, and I think I have a hold, whoosh, it is gone.
Many would never classify going to the trial of my daughter’s killer as in that ‘category’ happiness, but to me it would bring me closure. This closure might bring me closer to that elusive word ‘happiness’. No matter the outcome, I would know I worked hard to get her justice and the trial she deserves in her life. Yes, in her life, as even though she is deceased…we are talking about the ending of her life, which is the outcome of this trial that has not taken place.

So last night I was looking at my flight to make sure it was on time, and I check my email. There it was, the Victim’s Advocate writing a short note at the 11th hour we need to talk to you…and then the second email right after the first. “Sorry I have to leave for the day, the trial is being continued.” Wow. Yes that is how they let me know that the trial was postponed. Like it was nothing. My mental preparation for 2 months discarded in that one sentence. I started to cry. Who wouldn’t? I traveled to Baton Rouge as you all remember in March to publicize the lack of justice in my daughter’s case. I was on television, I was interviewed by The Advocate and a wonderful editorial was written:( http://theadvocate.com/news/opinion/8737286-123/inside-report-trial-delays-grieve#.UzwwAwjNzvc.email) about the same thing happening to a couple who lost their baby during his stay in daycare. We both share the lack of justice. We both have the same prosecution team. We both are trying really hard to find the closure we need, and this team, well they are not delivering. So now it seems I am losing and the killer and his team are winning. He has this high-profile lawyer, who obviously uses one tried and true tactic. Delay. Delay. Continue. Delay. The judge lets it happen. The prosecution team writes me self serving emails after the fact that they are ‘hurt’ by my insinuation that there is corruption in the Louisiana judicial system. Well, google it. Louisiana is number one in corruption or in a tie with Illinois. Hello??? Are you listening Louisiana? I am not going to stand idly by while my daughter is not given her trial. I am going to write about the injustice, the heartbreak and the sadness I feel. I am exhausted from trying to get a grasp on ‘happiness’, just a little pinky finger grasp, but it keeps eluding me. I can post many photo’s of the beauty I see here in Colombia at my beautiful Villa Migelita, but do I have happiness? No. I will not have it until I get this trial for her, she needs her trial and I need closure.

Closure it is so closely connected to happiness. When the trial goes forward, will Misha have a good defense? I wonder now. I see so many publicized trials, and I watch them. They take on a different meaning when you have a child that has been murdered. I need to say it. Misha was murdered. The defendant did it. He made deliberate moves to cover his tracks. He stopped and changed his tire and took his bumper off. Now that was a hard sentence to write, my daughter’s body did that to his car. Think about that, while reading this. He hit my daughter so hard she flattened his tire. Then he traveled far away to ‘fix’ his car saying ” I hit a deer” but the next day called and said the police would be visiting because he hit a person, my daughter. He knew he hit a person, he had a DUI 9 months before, so he was probably drunk when he killed her. Now, let me muse on the prosecution…why are they letting this case which was solved fairly quickly go on for 4 and 1/2 years. Why are they letting the defense run the show? I see all the other trials that make national news and this is not what happens with them. Why is my daughter so unimportant? I can put it together, can you? Money. The defendant is from the powerful family that owns Drago’s Seafood Restaurant. This link to my newscast shows that EVEN the news reporter has to mention he is from a powerful family ( http://www.wbrz.com/videoplayer/?video_id=18796&categories=231%2C58%2C135%2C95%2C66). Disgusting.

I say one last thing to the team representing my daughter, “Stop acting like you are for her best interests” You are not. You are doing your job and nothing more, nothing less. You are cold, heartless people who get paid to do your job and that is what you do, nothing more, nothing less. Without compassion you are cold, you are heartless, you are the person who wrote me an email 7 hours before I left Colombia for my closure. You are awful. I do not have faith in you anymore. I have no faith in Louisiana. I have faith that I can make this go viral and maybe then you will do your job.

Please write the judge. You have to send a handwritten letter. Christian Cvitanovich vs Mikel Cara Carson. This letter needs to be hand written to the judge. Her name is Trudy White. 300 N Blvd. Baton Rouge, LA 70802. No more letters to the District Attorney because they have many and it obviously made no difference to them. They are robots. They have no compassion, without compassion they need to change professions. Thank you all for your letters. Anything to bring justice for Misha.

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Finding Bruno

Posted on May 22, 2014 by hummingsfromparadise

I have a new Rat Terrier named Bruno who came into my life as suddenly as Taz left. (you can read about Taz here: https://hummingsfromparadise.wordpress.com/2014/01/06/missing-taz/)Taz was ornery, spoiled, not super lovable except with those closest to him, anti social with the other dogs, loved to go for long hikes in the mountains running freely smiling and happy, dug up tarantulas, used his little front paws like hands; especially at night when he wanted to get under the covers with me, and was a quirky little guy with huge ears that showed all his thoughts by their position. Taz was always shaking, if the wind blew funny he would get scared, if a storm was coming I knew way before the clouds darkened because Taz would alert me. Taz was one of a kind, and maybe that is why I miss him so much, he was an original, a dog so irreplaceable that I thought no other dog could help with the sadness I have felt everyday since he vanished that night in Cali. That is until Bruno came into my life and my heart.

I have never seen another Rat Terrier here in Colombia. Imagine my surprise after all my months of grieving discovering a Facebook post to my page of a Rat Terrier who was so like Taz, I actually thought he might be Taz! This dog had the same ears, the expression Taz always had on his face, the same crazy spots on him, and he was found in the streets of Cali. Could it be him I wondered? Could we have been mistaken by the photo of my Taz taken by the police showing him killed by a car? My heart was racing as I called the girl who had put up the photo. I found out he was male, very nervous, so nervous they barely could catch him, and that he was about the same age as Taz. I arranged to see this dog immediately, thinking I would have a reunion with my beloved pet.

I will never forget seeing Bruno, he was exactly Taz but younger and smaller in person. He was quite nervous and immediately was a bit feisty when held, talking in a strange little voice, showing he was not so sure he was happy with his circumstances. His ears moved all around, one up the other sideways, while his eyes showed fear along with hope for a new life. He was so like Taz I started crying. I could not believe this gift that came from nowhere, Bruno, showing up because he was lucky enough to have had an angel rescue him. A lovely woman who loves animals as much as I do. She told me someone else had called for Bruno but she felt her inner voice tell her to say no, another better home was waiting for Bruno. That home was me and my farm here at Villa Migelita. I also think another person had a hand in this, even though she is not of this world anymore, my Misha.

As I sat crying with the family who had fostered Bruno, I knew he had to come with me. He was meant to be with me, and how it happened is just not a coincidence. Bruno is my gift from my daughter because she knows I have worked tirelessly to get her the trial she deserves for her wrongful death. (you can read about it here: https://hummingsfromparadise.wordpress.com/2014/02/03/misha/) This is not her first gift to me nor will it be her last. I have a dog Orion I know she also brought into my life. Before I moved to Villa Migelita he showed up suddenly too, a neighbor heard I was moving to a farm and gave him to me the night before the move. I needed a big watch dog, and had pondered many nights about it. I only rescue animals, but how would I ever find a dog that could guard without having to purchase one? Alas, I was given Orion who had gone from home to home, and finally had a forever home with me.

So you see, the Universe and my guardian angel Misha always takes care of me. I got publicity for my daughter’s lack of justice and her trial will go forward. I lost my dog and was given Bruno who has acclimated to my farm perfectly and the other dogs accepted him unconditionally. He is a little reminder of my Taz every minute from the moment I held him. He uses his paws like Taz did, he sleeps in the same position as Taz, he uses his ears to show his emotions, he is so like Taz I do double takes sometimes when he walks around, following me like a little shadow. He is my living, breathing, reincarnation of Tazzy, and for that I will be forever grateful. My heart still misses Taz, but my face smiles every single time I look at my new precious boy.

So now I move forward with hope the trial will successfully put my daughter’s killer in prison. I will not lie I have been super stressed about this forthcoming trial. Bruno has put a dent in that anxiety just by being in my world. He has given me a bit of sunshine in my countdown to the trial and having to sit in a courtroom and hear things I do not want to hear. I will think of Bruno while I sit there, I will remember out of bad always comes good. I will allow myself to let go and let the Universe handle the fate of the killer of my daughter. I know the Universe handles everything, because I found Bruno and a bit of my Taz once again.

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Pondering, Life and Friends

Posted on May 7, 2014May 7, 2014 by hummingsfromparadise

You go a little crazy when your child dies and that craziness brought me to Colombia. A decision many found controversial, but a decision that has provided healing to me after many years of turmoil. This journey, often messy, often wonderful, and often sad brought me to a point where I know whom and what I personally need to fulfill myself, the main discovery is I am my own best friend. My friendships with others have been involved in the shaping of my life, but ultimately I am the one who I need to count on during good and bad times. My mom would call this character if she was still alive. I call it strength to be me. No matter how many outside influences try to change my character, I am the one responsible for my life. The past is always in the forefront of my musings and brings forth the question of how our life relationships play a part in our life journey?

Contemplating while I lay sleepless some nights, I look back on friendships that played important roles in this formation of my life. The life I envisioned when I raised my children gone to the wayside, with only memories left to remind me it happened. When I was that soccer Mom, going to my daughter’s games to hear her cheer, routing for my son at basketball games, volunteering in the school cafeteria, making sure my family was well cared for, my thoughts when I envisioned the future were always about my children going to college and me encouraging them as they began their own life journey. There is no crystal ball to show us the future, but we have relationships that are part of the composition of all that develops. Did the unfolding of my life come with me in a predestined package when I was born? Did my decisions cause the problems my children encountered in their teen years or was it what we call free will which we all exercise as humans.

I have written of my first marriage and the birth of my daughter which you can read about here: https://hummingsfromparadise.wordpress.com/2013/11/22/being-myself/. I met my best friend for life when I married my first husband, she is still with me today as my confidant, cheering me on as I move forward here in Colombia, happy for me and what I have accomplished. Isn’t this the way we should be with our friends? Supportive, honest, and loving? I know nothing will come between us, as she is the sister I always wanted, the person I go to for advice about anything, and she is non-judgmental, which applies to me also. I really do not gossip about others, even those that have hurt me. If I have something to say, I say it to the face of the person and it is between us only. During my many years on this earth I have acquired and lost friends, some dropping from my life without notice as I raised my family, others being set aside because of treacherous behavior, and those who left from their own false judgments based on gossip or jealousy. Then there are those who have entered my life recently who are enriching me with kindness, support, and shared love for all living creatures of this world. People I have met through my website http://www.facebook.com/VillaMigelita. I remember watching TV on a standing television without a remote, and now I have connected with many through technology and I consider them friends in my new life of Colombian living! Lastly, the friends that I had lost contact with, finding me again (through FB) with their own tales of what occurred during the years we had not talked. What does it all mean?

I reflect on much during those nights of insomnia. I have one particular incident that bothers me constantly since my daughter’s funeral. When I was in my twenties before both of my marriages I had a friend. I considered her a best friend for many years. Her son grew up with my daughter as playmates he was almost 4 years older but we always did things together and when I married again, my ex-husband became friends with them both. They were always at our house, went on vacation with us, we called them family. The day Misha spoke of the incidents to me the sun was shining, my mood happy, my son in the car with us as we parked to go inside a store. “Mom he touched me where he shouldn’t have and had me touch him where I should not.” The air left the car, the words were inside my head but I could not believe them. The boy who grew up with both my children molested my daughter who had just turned 10, he was almost 14. He took her innocence. He did it while I was in the house with my 3-year-old son right there when he did it. These details came out during her counseling. The friendship ended. You would think that would be the end of this story but it is not. My ex-husband brought them back into his life when my daughter was killed. He brought that boy now a man to sit beside him in the front pew of the church next to my son. He placed the ex-friend in the pew behind where all my family was. My ex-husband had no one from his HUGE family attend except his sister. I stew on this question often; “Why did I not make a scene and have them removed?” I was in so much shock from her death is my only explanation, because I always stand up for what is right. It is something that really bothers me, so I am writing it down to get it off my chest. I wish I had approached the Priest and told him what this kid had done and I know he would have changed the situation. I did not and now I live with this inside me and will forever. I will never understand why my ex-husband did this. I know his motivation was to hurt me, but this was his daughter he disrespected at her funeral by bringing the young man who took her self-esteem during a time in her life when she should have been discovering who she was. He brought these people around my son again at a vulnerable stage in his life. It broke my heart, and during the whole funeral I was aware of their hateful presence. This was an act of treachery I meditate about often, and I never can find an answer to it. Sometimes there are not answers in our life journey, maybe we find out later when we are no longer living on this earth.

Many people were so wonderful during the week of my daughter’s death, I can not emphasize that enough. Then the funeral was over and they were gone. Poof, abracadabra, gone. Then me wandering the house with so many memories of my children, not just Misha, but my son, who was not with me much anymore. I remember that time vividly. It was awful. I still was going through the divorce from hell, and now had the huge stone of grief carried upon my back, carried with such sadness because my daughter left many angry about her death and I was the person they all took it out on. Now all those people (well most of them) are my friends because they realize I had nothing to do with the actions of my daughter in the year preceding her death. If anyone was asked they would say “she is not consumed with her daughter, but her death has changed her.” I actually went to a retirement luncheon the year after she died, full of much anticipation to see people I had not seen in a long while who knew what had happened. I was shocked by the reception of people I knew for years. I was barely spoken to, I was ignored by friends of many years, it was cruel. I then started putting things together and I realized that the people who supported me during Misha’s funeral and death really did not like me. It was clear. It was awful. I will never go back to a retirement luncheon again because I have enough of my own grief and sadness to last me a lifetime and I do not need other’s to place their preconceived perceptions on me also. I had a friend for years that I always notified of my arrival back in the States, who never really responded. Out of some sense of guilt I kept contacting her because she was wonderful during the divorce and the death of my daughter. Then she just changed. The last contact with her was me asking if she wanted to meet myself and another of her friends for lunch when I arrived? Her response? One word; “maybe” that was it she is out of my life.

So that is enough of the negativity, let’s talk about the good things. A very dear friend who was my maid of honor in the wedding of the father of my daughter recently contacted me through Facebook. We have reconnected and I see her and her husband as part of my life forever. They are making plans to visit Villa Migelita. Her husband still calls me “Missy” my nickname from childhood. Another friend also has reconnected, she a flight attendant with so much of the same stories of her horrific divorce. Then there are the flight attendants who admire what I have done, not knowing me well but asking to be my friend on Facebook, and the flight attendant friends who never have left my side during this journey of life I am on, never judging always supportive. They know who they are. I love them. Me, well, I am real excited about the Bed and Breakfast I will soon open, just like a new chapter in a book. It is my life; good or bad. I am struggling every day to get past Misha’s death, but I am winning.

For those who follow my blogs, the trial for the killer of my daughter will take place starting June 2nd. My trip and subsequent publicity made a difference.

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What Animals Can Teach Us

Posted on April 17, 2014 by hummingsfromparadise

I have long ago learned that fellow humans will let us down in life, but animals rarely do. I have been blessed with many animal friendships in my lifetime. I wish they could stay with us longer than they do. They are always beside us, loving us, adoring us, showing unwavering loyalty. Recently I have lost three of my beloved pets I brought here to Colombia with me. Colleen my collie was the first to leave me. She was getting old, showing many signs of old age when I finally made a decision to let her rest. She is so missed by all of us here at Villa Migelita. I had the comfort that her last years of living were with unlimited freedom and wide open spaces. She carried so much love in her heart, and to the end she was my loving, faithful pet. She let me know it was time to go, and I saw her leave with peace in her heart. She taught me about my truth. The truth of love that I carry inside, the love that unfolds when it is returned unconditionally. She talked to me with her eyes, which showed her soul deep inside her. She taught me to let go when it is time, she showed me with those eyes she was ready and I listened to her.

My second pet to leave me was Taz whom many of you know I lost on Christmas Eve in Cali, Colombia. You can read about his loss here:https://hummingsfromparadise.wordpress.com/2014/01/06/missing-taz Taz was still young, he was part of my heart, and I was not prepared to lose him the way I did. He was killed by a car after a woman who is evil let him out in the streets on purpose. I still think about how awful she is and if eventually karma will catch up to her and the horrible thing she did to my beloved dog. I try to think about the lesson to be learned by this situation. It has to be forgiveness. I must forgive this woman, or carry hate where there should only be my love for Taz that matters. Hate is a bitter pill to carry around inside of ourselves. So once again I am back to love, it seems that our animals teach us in so many ways about love even when it is a situation that is sudden and unexpected. Over my many years with Taz, and the enjoyment I got from his quirky personality, I learned to accept unconditionally his little mannerisms and nuances. He was a nervous dog, but super smart. He could do high-five on demand and always had his little paw up in the air if there was food to be had. He showed me that once again animals tell us all they feel with their eyes, they speak to us that way. He spoke to me the last time I saw him with those eyes as he looked at me through the window that night. That is my last memory of him, watching me walk off his eyes following me with only love radiating from them. I can only hope my animals feel the return of that unconditional love from me when I look back at them with my eyes. href=”https://hummingsfromparadise.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/taz-farm-where-wedding-007.jpg”> Taz , farm where wedding 007

My third pet I just lost was Cloudy my cat of many years. Cloudy was the first pet I got for my children along with his litter-mate Midnight who had died many years before Cloudy. Cloudy lived a long life for a cat. He was always so affectionate and loved to sit in anyone’s lap. He came with me to Colombia on the airplane and just took it in stride. When I first arrived and was renting a house before I bought Villa Migelita, Cloudy would hide in one of the rooms for the longest time. I called him the cave dwelling cat because I thought he would never come out and be part of the household again. When I moved to Villa Migelita, Cloudy got a new lease on life. He became an outdoor cat for the first time in his life. He no longer used a kitty litter and had his own little basket house outside in the laundry area. He loved it. He would sit for hours outside enjoying the sun. I have never seen a cat transform like he did. He was so happy. Cloudy taught me that no matter how old we might be, it is possible to change. He accepted the change of his living conditions with such happiness and I know his last years on this Earth were filled with love of life and surroundings. He slowly was losing weight in the last few months and started staying inside the house again and I knew he was not going to live much longer. He was in his 18th year of life and he was wanting to be with me all the time. He lay with me at my desk, and in my lap the last few months. He occasionally would bask in the sun, but stayed inside once again. I would find him in the mornings sleeping next to my dog Orion. Then he would follow me into my office to keep me company. When I recently went to the States he just gave up. I feel guilty as I know he died from missing me. It is with tears in my eyes I write this, as he was found in his little basket house outside not breathing, but looking like he just went to sleep. He left this world without me, and I am so sad about that. I am not sad about the life I gave him. His death has taught me to appreciate every second I have with my animals, especially the older ones as they can go so quickly. He taught me that when it is time to leave this Earth to do so with dignity. He taught me to cherish the moments I have with any of my animals as they can leave us without warning. Cloudy taught me about kindness and the loyalty of love that transcends and embraces us even when they are no longer with us.

So now I have acquired two new babies at Villa Migelita. I needed to smile again and laugh from the antics only pets can give to us. I adopted a baby kitten and named him Tommi and an Amazon parrot and named her Luci. They both are fun as only the young of the animal kingdom can be. I am learning that with my new additions I can embrace the memories of the past while smiling for the future. We might not have a long time with our animals while we are lucky enough to have them, but we have a long time to remember them and accept what they can teach us. My new kitten has already taught me she is quite resilient and can adapt to the dogs quite well and holds her own with all of them! Luci is showing me that she has quite the personality for such a little girl and feeding her by hand makes my day. I had actually waited to take her as I was worried about the hand feeding. Now she thinks I am her Mommy, her actual mother abandoned the nest and she was found by a neighbor. So I have two more rescues to add to my list of pets, and I look forward to more lessons in life that only animals can teach us.

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Staying Strong

Posted on March 21, 2014 by hummingsfromparadise

I feel very good about myself this week. I did something I really did not want to do. I flew to Baton Rouge and publicized the lack of justice that is taking place four years after my daughter’s death. I have dreaded going to that city, driving on the same highway where she was murdered, facing the reality I have known for four years. I was really stressed, feverish, tired and sad during this trip to Louisiana. It felt like I had left my body and Misha entered me and pushed me forward from the minute I stepped onto the plane out of Cali, Colombia. I dread the trial also, when it finally takes place. It is unimaginable to me still that my daughter was killed. I live one day at a time until I find closure in this journey for justice.

I have continued living my life with purpose since she was killed, a purpose that I want my granddaughter to observe as she grows up. I have made a plus out of a minus as my mother used to say. I went from a bitter divorce with nothing but anger and negativity surrounding me to whom I am now, a forgiving but strong woman. I have tried to inspire others with my actions and reactions to all of life’s difficulties. I have slowly made a success of my life based on who I am, not other’s perceptions of what they want me to be. I have shown others that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to, even to publicizing the lack of a trial in my daughter’s death.

I now speak Spanish, have a beautiful Villa in Colombia, and a business plan to start my Hostel this summer with like-minded people who enjoy the beauty of nature as my guests. When I look back, I never thought I would end up in Colombia at this stage in my life. I accept that we as humans can not control life’s circumstances or journey, but we can make the best of every situation, even the death of a child. Now I can only hope that my publicity will bring results for my deceased child. I again ask you to write to the DA in Baton Rouge and insist that a trial does take place in June. Here is the email: Ron.Gathe@ebrda.org. I also am including the link to the news report from channel 2 WBRZ in Baton Rouge.
I will see an editorial soon in the newspaper The Advocate about the lack of a trial going into the fifth year. I am proud of what I accomplished. I intend to keep publicizing this until I see results for Misha, even though it is so difficult accept and face.
Please click on this link to view the video: http://www.wbrz.com/videoplayer/?video_id=18796&categories=231%2C58%2C135%2C95%2C66

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If I Had Known

Posted on March 8, 2014 by hummingsfromparadise

If I had known the moment you were put in my arms, I would only have twenty years with you, what would my thoughts have been? Nobody every tells you the truth about loss. You don’t only lose someone you spend your life shaping, teaching and loving, you lose part of yourself. Your heart. Your humanity. Maybe even your soul. Through all of our life together, no matter the distance, or estrangements, a bond existed that remained strong. This bond came to me the night you died when I awoke at the same time that car threw your body, and it remains strong even in your death. I have only photo’s now. I look through them sometimes, there are so many and I thank God for that. However, they make me sad. I want to put myself into a time capsule and go back to each memory. I want to look into your eyes again and say I love you, I miss you, and I wish the last years of your life had not been so hard. I would tell you how strong you were, even when you knew you made decisions that you wished you had thought through more. We would talk about a lot of things when we walked to the beach with Amaya in her stroller. You were going to school, but you had a baby and you were only 19 years old. I was helping you care for her, but it was a difficult situation. You wanted to have fun and go out more, like your friends were doing. We shared so much those last months you lived with me. We went to see Celine Dion one year to the day before your death. It was such a wonderful night, magical really, who would know you would be dead the next year? I think of these things now when I wake up and can not sleep. I cry a lot, like now, when I write down how I feel. I am so angry you have not seen justice yet. The man who killed you over four years ago walks free, continuously getting the trial postponed. I feel helpless. I am doing what I can, I am writing about it. I will share this with as many people as I can Misha. I will ask them to write to the assistant District Attorney to ask why they are not fighting for your rights to have a trial? It has been postponed three times now. I wish I could go to the principal like I did when you were younger and kids bullied you when you wore glasses. I wish I could have the ability to get this publicized like I see other unjust situations get publicity. All I can do is try. I will send this to every news organization I can and maybe I can get you your trial. I am and always was your biggest champion. I know you see that from Heaven, as you visit me in the form of hummingbirds and butterflies everyday. Just now while I write our song “My Heart Will Go On” came on the internet radio. I know you are around me in spirit always. Remember how we held hands and sang along at her concert to this song? I feel you next to me now, looking over my shoulder as I write. This photo montage will show people you had a wonderful life that was taken too soon. I will remind people you have not seen justice yet. I will do what I can.

Misha photos 031 </a src=”https://hummingsfromparadise.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/misha-004.jpg?w=218″

Now I ask my blog followers to write the Assistant District Attorney of Baton Rouge, Louisiana. His name is Ron Gathe. This is his email:Ron.Gathe@ebrda.org. This is a link to an article written at the time of her death: http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/2010-02-17/news/fl-louisiana-hit-and-run-20100216_1_deerfield-. The man who hit her has been free for over four years and is living his life like he never took her life. Look at these photo’s and remember she was killed while trying to help someone, someone who did not even mention Misha when she talked with the police. Misha was left on the side of the Interstate I-10 for hours dead. My daughter Mikel Cara Carson deserves justice. I want to make sure it happens. This man needs to stand trial and there should be no more continuances in this case. I sincerely ask for all of you to write this to the DA. Misha lost her life, Amaya lost her mother, her brother lost his sister, and I lost my child. My heart still goes on, but it will never be the same without her.

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