Tag: accomplishments

Posted in Colombia, coronavirus, Entreprenuer, expat life, glamping, long distance relationships, love bombing, romance, social media, texting, Uncategorized

Love Bombed? Maybe. (Part 1)

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

The Love Bombed, Maybe Series

A lot of what I’ve read about this whole subject seems overblown in today’s world of hype and buzzwords. It didn’t feel manipulative to me, maybe because I realized right away it might be what people call “love bombing” when he sent me a romantic song to get my attention. I think for him, sending memes and songs was easier than talking, since his persona was definitely introverted, while I’m the chatty extrovert. Although I apparently lack the social skill known as texting etiquette, I text like I talk, too much, which I will address later in this blog. I know these social media terms get thrown around as another way we can get hurt in today’s world. People cancel each other for the most ridiculous reasons, and I always take a wait-and-see approach with anything new. He appeared in my life at a time I was ready for a diversion after focusing on my business and personal growth for many years. Anyone who has moved abroad like I did and figured out life in a foreign country has faced more than most. It has given me the kind of independence that comes from finding out everything the hard way, surviving, adjusting, learning another language, and trusting in myself. I am resilient, and my confidence is part of my personality. I know what I have accomplished, and I also know that not many people could do what I have done. Any man entering my personal space needs to know this, too. I’m always ready for something new and see life as a continuous process, but I control my life. I am not an easy target for anyone. In fact, I think anyone who has a relationship with me figures that out.

He visited Villa Migelita Ecolodge last year with a family member. We had known each other on Facebook for years, and I was curious to meet him in person. They arrived in the early morning hours after a long flight, so I made pizzas and opened some wine. The conversation was pleasant, and the views of the Valle del Cauca were as beautiful as ever. I love it when anyone from the USA sees what I take for granted. Views at night from my balconies will impress even the most jaded person. Over the week, I saw that he’s serious; in fact, I don’t recall seeing him smile much. Spending a day out with him and his cousin, he showed a lighter side, but was still kind of stuffy. I would later find out that his social skills lack warmth and effort. After a few days, they left for another part of Colombia. Occasionally, I’d get texts from him or his cousin, which is normal for guests who visit my Glamping place. One day, his cousin messaged while I was at the hospital with my son, who had a medical emergency. I replied briefly, explaining I had no time to chat. Love Bomber messaged me kindly after hearing about my son and kept in touch. My phone constantly lights up with messages, so I wouldn’t know when someone’s interested in me. Then he sent a Luther Vandross song—my favorite. That’s when he caught my attention. The songs he started sending were fun and increasingly love-oriented. I would then send back a song that was even thirstier. As we continued texting, I realized he had a repertoire; for someone I remembered as sort of boring, he seemed deliberate in his use of this technique. These gestures didn’t fit the person I recalled. I also realized later in our relationship that he doesn’t listen to music, unlike me. Did he have these songs in a PDF file, ready to use when needed?

As I look back on the initial phase of this flirtation, I realized that Love Bomber was a pro at texting, but only with songs. Then came the memes and only memes. He didn’t talk unless he called me. Then it would be me carrying the conversation, not him. If I spoke about my day, which is always filled with guests and interesting happenings, he would just look at me without engaging. If I spoke about him and his life, he would talk. I like the old-fashioned way of chatting. Let’s talk on the phone, or send real thoughts, not songs, not memes. Looking back on our text conversations, there weren’t any. I would send him a couple of short paragraphs. As I said earlier, this is not the way social media experts think is appropriate. I should have answered with a short, witty sentence, as they advised. I would receive a heart and another song or meme. I found it weird, to be honest. No real words or connection, just these silly reels and memes. Because I am who I am, I didn’t care. I accept people as they are if I like them. To me, it was all in fun. I’m perceptive, and I looked at this blatant manipulation of romance as entertainment once I realized his intent. Those big gestures were priceless; in fact, the more obvious they were, the more absurd the songs or memes I would send back. It became a game in my mind. He was writing a book, and he started sending me chapters. I am a writer, so I was interested. However, he wasn’t interested in anything I had to say unless it was about him or the book. He started calling me his muse. I didn’t mind helping him, but being his muse added some work to my day, in the form of reading and dissecting his book. Yet he could never send me a normal text. Not a “How was your day?, I know you are busy. How are the dogs?, How is your son? What is the weather like?” Nothing. As I write this on my blog now, I realize it is not normal not to ask about the other person. Maybe this is why I feel the need to share this story. I am a busy person, but I loved the attention he was giving me. I admit to that. However, if you are the type of person who really wants a love interest, I can see where this attention could draw you into a situation where you might get hurt. Make sure your expectations match reality. I know life is not a fairytale; I have been through a lot. As I always say to prospective suitors, “I never want to marry again!” and LB (love-bomber) knew that from our first, as I call it, three-day date in Bogota.

He invited me to meet in Bogota for a few days. I had to close my Glamping place down, but my son was living with me, so I could leave. I met him in Bogotá, and as soon as I walked outside of baggage claim, he was touchy-feely, taking my hand, hugging me, and kissing my cheek. I am not demonstrative at all, so it felt unnatural to me. I give warm hugs as a greeting, but prefer to leave it at that. As we drove in the Uber, he kept up the affection. I was worried. What had I done? We arrived at the hotel and had lunch on a beautiful terrace. Wine at lunch made me feel less nervous. I knew he was a normal human from his time staying at my hotel, so I began to relax. I explained I needed my phone for hotel inquiries. I felt bad because I don’t like being on my phone when with others, especially while eating. I would later learn that LB was the most phone-addicted person I had ever been around, including younger people, but he kept it in check during this trip. He needed sleep, so I caught up on reservations while he snored in the other bed in our suite at the Sheraton. I kept wondering why I left my comfort zone, especially while sharing a suite. I told myself I needed something new, which I think women talk to themselves like this when they should not. In hindsite I realize I don’t need anything new, because my life is pretty perfect. I knew it was going to be tough at night since I’m a light sleeper. I had an ex-husband who snored, and believe me, I love being single and not having snoring in my life! When he woke up, we went out to dinner and enjoyed Korean BBQ. When we returned to the hotel, I literally had no sleep that night. My thoughts were, “Why did I do this? I do not like to have my sleep disturbed. I hate it, and my thoughts while I lay awake half the night were not kind, nor ready to start anything with him. But the next morning, after I slept fitfully, he suggested going to the gym on our floor. I liked that, because fitness is important to me. He seemed to care about staying in shape, which is also a requirement for any man in my life. I did Yoga while he worked out; my unkind thoughts about my lack of sleep weren’t as bad now.

If you look up love bombing, you’ll see that people who do it avoid social interactions and focus all their attention on their objective. YOU. This does match some of what I experienced, but what I want my readers to know is that not everyone will be affected the same way. They do shower you with affection—holding your hand, putting their arms around you, being overly attentive —but LB was limited in one-on-one social skills; he really could not carry on a conversation with me. I didn’t notice this at first because I was translating for us, and to be fair, I can carry on a conversation for another person and me without a problem. I can see how someone might get caught up in the initial phase and feel over the moon from all the attention they receive, even though this attention was mostly nonverbal in my case. His behavior was over the top, but flattering, too. And I want my readers to know that love bombers usually focus on someone who is lacking something in their personal life. Maybe they’re lonely, missing companionship, or have never had a real relationship before. Maybe they want to be swept off their feet, and the love bomber comes along and does just that. I thought he must be infatuated with me, nothing more than that. I was enjoying a break from my usual routine. My life is wonderfully full, filled with what I have made for myself through lots of effort. For me, it was a vacation and nothing more. One-on-one with LB wasn’t bad, but I later realized that was the only time I enjoyed his company. A relationship has to be more than just the two of you; it has to be shared with others. He is not good with other people, not even a random smile to a passing stranger. I also found him secretive, though I couldn’t figure out why. I would ask him a question, and he was really good at deflecting. There is something strange about someone who doesn’t initiate contact with others yet overshares on Facebook. Facebook seemed to be his comfort zone. We all know that many of the posts we see on social media don’t tell the whole story. I also noticed that his Facebook friends were only connected to him; no one was connected to anyone else. For instance, I have friends I share on Facebook with over 100 other people. Looking back, I think this should be a warning to anyone. Why didn’t he share any friends with others? 

We visited Monserrate in Bogota after working out together in the morning. We enjoyed some wine and beautiful views before heading out to lunch in the Candelaria district of Bogotá. He actually talked to me a bit, and when we went out to lunch, we discovered we liked similar light meals. Again, I want to add that this could be another trait of love bombing. They will mirror everything you like to make themselves more integrated into your psyche. On the second night, as we walked through a trendy part of Bogotá, I felt uncomfortable. We found a great restaurant, but there was only silence between us as we walked the streets, which is unusual for me. He didn’t seem to notice how uncomfortable I was; he kept clearing his throat, and I was worried he was getting sick. That’s when I realized he didn’t mind not making conversation, not even when the silence felt heavy. I was dressed up and felt good, but he didn’t seem to notice. Later, he’d say our trip was perfect, but I remember that night as a red flag. I loved sightseeing in Bogotá, but that dinner wasn’t fun for me. I remember it as a contemporary place, without any romance from the person who had been showering me with attention all day.  On our last day, we visited the salt mines, which were fascinating. We were at the back of our group, and when a woman spoke to me in English, he didn’t engage with her. I love meeting new people. She was a Colombian living in the USA but visiting Colombia. We walked together for a little while, with LB sort of holding back. I didn’t know this was normal for him until later. We had a driver who took us to another colorful pueblo for lunch. I ordered a lot of food, tapas style. LB became cranky when his Coke didn’t show up quickly. I had to go and find out where it was. He was arrogant and a bit rude. I didn’t like that. When we both left the next morning, I thought what would happen next was up to him.

After Bogotá, he was attentive to me via text, again with the songs and memes, and asked to meet up. He sent me a round-trip ticket to the Northeast since I wanted to see the fall leaves. After a long journey from Cali, Colombia, to the NYC area, I was excited to visit my best friend in Newport, and LB drove me there and went to visit his aunt. I appreciated that he helped me reconnect with my friend. Shannon and I laughed like old times. When LB joined us, I finally realized he didn’t like being around people he didn’t know, and he seemed uninterested in being friendly to my friend. Shannon tried to get him to talk, showing him local sights like Fort Adams, and still managed to keep things light while engaging him in a one-sided conversation. Later, Shannon said she knew our relationship wouldn’t last based on our conversations; I did share what could be construed as red flags. That day, with LB and Shannon, reminded me that while moments of excitement when LB focused only on me can be welcome, staying true to myself and being honest about what I want matter most. At this point in the relationship, I was learning things about LB, and he was learning things about me. There are no hidden meanings when you allow people to be who they are. True freedom comes when the mind is not chained to outcomes. Seeing that LB was not comfortable with my best friend was a warning. Not necessarily a red flag.

After visiting Fort Adams in Newport, we had lunch by the water at The Moorings. We ordered a bottle of wine and enjoyed great seafood. With the wine, LB became a bit more outgoing, but not in a way I’d call warm. My thoughts were, “Remember, Michele, not everyone is like you and Shannon; they might not be as outgoing.” Once we said goodbye to Shannon and got back on the road, LB returned to being charming and affectionate—holding my hand, kissing me, and giving me lots of attention. I couldn’t help but wonder why he acted so differently around my friend. We drove to a hotel because he had planned a day of leaf viewing at the Rockefeller State Park Preserve. It was a long drive, and I badly wanted to put on some music, but I couldn’t because I didn’t have internet on my phone while out and about in the USA. I found it strange that he didn’t play music from his phone through the speaker. After all, we did nothing but send each other songs. I had the beautiful fall colors to look at, but something about the music bothered me. I realized it was because the night before, at the hotel, I had put music on from my tablet. We heard a song that he declared would be our song. He said this should be a wedding song. Then said, “Oh, yeah, you never want to get married again.” I didn’t say anything because I had made that clear. However, right before that, he had chastised me for interrupting him at lunch earlier. He doesn’t talk to anyone enough to actually interrupt him. He also told me he loved me that night. That was a definite chaotic turn of events in my mind. I couldn’t keep up with the topsy-turvy way his mind worked. I also was dreading going to sleep and hearing him snore. I put in the earplugs I brought.

When we arrived at the park, the weather was perfect. A cloudless day awaited us, with the leaves all changing colors. I couldn’t have been more content. I had come to see the beautiful fall colors, and he had delivered them to me perfectly. We wandered the park, holding hands, and I lost the unease I sometimes felt around him. We were both quiet in a good way and stopped to have a small snack while sitting in the woods. As a glamper all of my adult life, I could not have had a more perfect morning. Nature parks are my forte. The scenery itself was like the joy I always take in when I am at my own place in Colombia. Small pleasures are how I live in the present at all times. I took in the colors, the clear skies, and the sounds of children laughing. I love being stimulated by my surroundings.  We had sandwiches waiting for us in the car for our ride back later. We were going to spend the night in New York City. I could not have been happier. I had not been to the city in years.  I found I had no appetite and was starting to get a headache. We arrived at the hotel in the late afternoon, right under the Brooklyn Bridge.  I had to lie down immediately because the headache was horrible. I felt nauseous. I wanted to feel better so I could go out in the city that night. After rest and a Tylenol, I forced myself to get going, but it was very hard. The cold air really helped. When we left the hotel, the young hotel receptionist looked at me and remarked on how cute I looked. It was another curious moment for me because, just like in Bogotá, LB seemed not to like the attention I got when we went out; he never remarked on my looks or my style. I have always attracted attention because I have always dressed with flair. Everything I have read about love bombing is based on how they want to be the ones who give you all the attention you need, so you crave it and look to them for that dopamine hit.

That night in Brooklyn, looking across the Hudson River at the skyscrapers of New York City brought back memories of layovers from my past as a flight attendant. The weather was cold, but not overly so. It was helping me to feel better. We found a crowded, popular restaurant and were given a quiet spot in the back, since the only table was near a door. I loved that too, because whenever the cold air entered, I felt better. I didn’t know why I felt so off, but I did. After dinner, we walked around and then drove through some areas from LB’s past growing up in Brooklyn. It is so interesting how times change neighborhoods, and they become so swank when they were once the projects. LB was the most talkative I had ever seen him be. He loved showing me where he grew up and places from his past that were now restaurants or fancy buildings that had once been liquor stores with apartments on the top floors. For me, it was wonderful being in the city. I couldn’t wait to go out the next day and experience more. Back at the hotel, I fell asleep quickly with hopes that whatever was bothering me would leave by the next day. When I awoke the next morning, I felt better. After breakfast, we were off to see the One World Observatory. I had always wanted to see this towering structure built after the tragedy of 9/11. As a retired flight attendant, I felt a close connection to that day. It was, to me, the best way to end my vacation in the United States. I felt a quiet synchronicity inside my soul, visiting this sacred site, which represented so many who died that day. We had lunch at the very top, overlooking the breathtaking views of New York City. I could almost hear the song New York, New York playing in my mind. We ended this wonderful day at a bar in SoHo, drinking Tequila with an old college friend of LB’s. I was completely over whatever caused my headache. The next day, I had an early flight home to Colombia. After I arrived home, Shannon called and said she had COVID. I wasn’t sick at all, but we figured I must have been the one to give it to her. She came down with it on my last Sunday in New York City, and I must have had COVID when I had that headache on the Saturday before. I had a test, so I took it, and sure enough, I tested positive. I had never had COVID that I know of, so I isolated. I called LB and told him to test. He said, ” No need, I have no symptoms.” I didn’t either, but still, you can spread it to others; he didn’t seem to care. Wow, a big red flag waved in front of my eyes. Who goes out and spreads COVID?

I won’t lie, a long-distance relationship takes work.  We didn’t have plans to see each other until LB came to Colombia in December. That would be more than a month of texts and calls. Since he had made it clear to me that he was in love, I knew we would have to stay in regular touch to keep that energy going. I told him I loved him, but I wasn’t sure. I wanted to be in love; I liked the romance of it. But, did I really love him?  The memes and songs can only go so far. We would talk on the phone occasionally. As I look back on that month by reading my WhatsApp, it was just more of the same. Love songs, back-and-forth, memes, and then one day he didn’t contact me. I had never spent time with LB outside of these vacations. To think he was in love with me and I with him seemed premature to me. I knew the only way to tell was for him to come back to Colombia and see how he was day to day with other people around him. I wouldn’t be with him all the time; I would be taking care of my business, and we were entering the busiest time of the year for the tourist industry. I was already booked into January, and it was only November. I remember the date because it was the day before Veterans’ Day. I had noticed his texts were falling off, maybe mine were too, but I tried. He hearted something I sent, then nothing for almost two days. Being me, I didn’t send anything else.  I know it was Veterans’ Day, and I should have said something to him because he was a Veteran, but I knew he was not contacting me deliberately. That man was always on his phone. He never put it down. So I ignored him, too. This is the way I look at these things. I do not have time for nonsense. I am too busy in my life to play stupid games with anyone. I was tired of not talking on the phone like regular people. He posted a Photoshop image of himself on Facebook as a much younger, handsome version, and he received accolades all day from friends. If you have time to post, you have time to say hi to me.

After that long period, he called me. He asked me what was wrong. I said I was wondering the same. I explained that as the owner of a successful business, I don’t have time for bullshit games. I make time for him, and he should make time for me if he really wants this relationship to work. It wasn’t the longest nor friendliest call. He said he would have to think about it. I was fine with that, because why waste each other’s time? The next day, he called me and said he wanted to make it work and would make an effort to stay in touch every day. Finally, he would call me once a day, and there weren’t as many memes doing the talking for him. The only thing is, the calls always had to revolve around him, his day, his book, his work, him, him, him. Any time I brought up anything related to my work, it was quickly brushed aside. If I called him, he would say I have to call back at his convenience, after he ate or whatever. Meanwhile, I was running my hotel and would take his calls when I was eating or working. Again, I guess this isn’t the etiquette required in this social media age, but I am not like that. I am who I am; I don’t go by any rules except my own rules of life that I live by. In the back of my mind, I wondered what it would be like when he arrived in December, and I had guests. I chatted with my brother from another mother and told him what was going on. He, of course, scolded me: “Michele, look at what you have done! You moved to another country and opened a hotel, and speak another language. Don’t let some random man make you think of moving, marrying, or changing one thing you have accomplished!” I knew that was true, and sometimes LB would send memes about getting married. I would always say, “Now you know I never want to get married.” I never waivered on that. Also, LB was a divorce attorney! He would know better than anyone about why I was turned off to marriage, after two failed ones in my life.

He arrived in December, after almost 1.5 months apart. I knew this relationship wasn’t going to succeed if we always had to wait that long to see each other. One can only take so much of these memes. At least when I was with him, there was a break from that.  Also, there was too much about him that I didn’t know. Sometimes I would try to get him to open up about his past, but crickets. I, well, all I do is share about my past. I am an open book; I have had this blog for years now. We both agreed not to publicize anything about our relationship on social media. I have to be honest: his chat style, filled with romantic references from songs and reels, was too smooth not to think there might be someone else. I was already thinking I might not want to keep this going, but I would be honest about it. With him, I wasn’t so sure. Especially after he arrived. A few days in, and my thoughts were, what does he do with his life when he is in the States? That phone was always in his hand with a headphone in his ear. He was messy, which I didn’t really notice when we were traveling because we were staying in hotels, not my clean glamping place, which he was treating like a hotel on the road. I would get up between 5:30 and 6:00 am, and he would be sleeping. But then he would expect breakfast to be served to him, all meals while he was here, unless we went out. He never washed one dish, picked up his clothes, and threw wet towels on the bed. He barely acknowledged Adriana, my employee, but expected her to wait on him and do his laundry. My son was here, and he barely spoke to him. He spent most of his time in my Suite or on the balcony adjacent to my room.  Of course, that phone was attached to him as if it were part of his body. He complained that I would sit with him for a while, then jump up and go do something, leaving him alone. I don’t care whether I am in a relationship or not; I am not responsible for entertaining someone by being with them constantly. This, to me, an independent woman, is absolutely horrifying. Then we went out to dinner on the first Saturday after his arrival, and I knew that this wasn’t going to work even if I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself.

We had plans to go on a two-day road trip to Nevada del Ruiz the next day. One of Colombia’s most biodiverse areas. I was able to go because my son was going to run my place for me. LB had only been here for a couple of days, and I was already feeling exhausted from running my hotel and taking care of him. We made plans to go out to dinner. I invited my son to join us, but he declined. I drove us down the mountain to this popular restaurant in La Buitrera. This restaurant has beautiful aesthetics but really bland food. They serve a good cocktail, though. I ordered a blue margarita, and LB ordered a mojito. We placed an order for food, and my son showed up to say hi. I was so pleased because I knew he had come by for me. LB said hi, while my son tried to engage him in conversation. I thought, let’s see how this goes. I love my son more than anyone in this world. He is my number one person, my love, my defender of everything. I can assure you he didn’t want to be with us. I had seen how LB had been so withdrawn, with no interaction, in the two days he had been here. When I say I was shocked, I mean it politely. LB put on his headphones and listened to whatever he was listening to while my son tried to engage him in conversation. I tapped LB and said, ” Take your headphones out.” CJ tried to talk to him about football, anything, it didn’t matter, LB mumbled answers. So CJ and I talked. LB put his headphones back in, and I realized that this was f**ked up. CJ hurried through his meal and said goodbye, and off he went. LB took the headphones out when he left. We ordered another cocktail. LB chatted away with me like he hadn’t been the rudest person ever. We left to buy some wine for the week in another shopping area, and LB got mean to me. He made fun of me for having blue lips from the cocktail I had been drinking. All I could think was he never says how nice I look, but he sure loved saying I had blue lips. To think I had ten more days with him. When we returned home, I found my son and apologized.

To be continued……..

Have you ever experienced something that felt like love bombing, or wondered later if it might have been? If you’re comfortable sharing, I’d love to hear your story or thoughts in the comments.

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Posted in Achievements, Cali Colombia, child death, Colombia, Colombian life, Entreprenuer, expat life, friendship, Glampingcolombia, hummingbirds, Live your best life, nature, Uncategorized, Villa Migelita Ecolodge

Thirteen Years Later

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

The other day, I was in a taxi chatting with my driver. He asked how long I had been in Colombia. I did the math and was amazed when I answered twelve years. He responded: “You’re a Colombiana!”  A lifetime has passed by in the last thirteen years. Some of those years were not easy for me, but I persevered. I have found my peace after so much time has passed. Stress is not part of my life anymore.  My life revolves around my business and nature. What is better than earning money while living at home? I can wear my yoga clothes, drink wine, and discover new friends who come to enjoy my glamping cabins and lodging. I go to bed at night feeling grateful, although sometimes tired from my increasingly busy glamping business. It is far better to be exhausted from days filled with adventure and nature than to be tired from a long day without purpose. Nature brings out the best in people. Nature also heals the soul. It has been over thirteen years since the death of my daughter, Misha. I think of her every day, wishing she hadn’t left this world so abruptly and too soon.

This blog has been therapy to me during all the years that have passed. I have always written about what was on my mind, in my heart, and in my life. I have made decisions based on my gut feelings and inner knowledge guiding me. This last year I have found that I needed my blog less because living the life I do balances peace, activity, and accomplishment. Of course, I will always grieve for my daughter’s life, but in some ways, it is less forceful. I look around at what I have built and know Misha would have loved it here in Colombia. Misha is the reason I have been relentless in my pursuit of a business that I can pass on to my son and my granddaughter. I feel her gentle push to keep going with my future vision of what my Glamping Place can grow into. When I hear the birds singing in the morning, my heart smiles. I am ready for a new day, a new adventure, a new beginning to my life story.

As I move forward, I find forgiveness in ways I never thought I would be capable of. There are people we can never forgive in our lives, such as the murderer of my daughter Misha. There are people in our lives who do something we can not understand, and perhaps we do not want to forgive them, but we do because it is better than holding on to negative thoughts. Forgiveness clears the mind. Some people become distant, maybe they have a lot going on in their lives, and we should reach out to them. We all have pasts that include glorious moments or moments we might not be proud of. We all have made choices that were not the best ones. But we all get to start every day anew. Now, I am living my best life. Even with all the ups and downs I have experienced along this road I have traveled, I realize my life has been good. Let a moment be what it is. Embrace it when it is good, and don’t dwell on it too long when it is terrible. Give up that wish to impress. There is no need to show what you have to everyone.  Post a little less on social media and immerse yourself in real life! A flock of parrots living in a nearby tree causes me to pause throughout the day to listen to them. As I grow older, I become quieter, and the moments in my day when nature shows itself humble me. I think this is why my nature retreat is successful. When people experience these moments, they feel humbled, too. At night, when I am in my room after a long day, my cat is lying at my feet; I think about happiness. What is happiness? Is it the feeling of contentment? Is it the feeling of satisfaction? Is it the feeling of a good life, a fulfilled life that brings joy? I think happiness does include all these things, but it is also about accepting what has happened in your life, both the good and the bad. Not caring about what others think because you know you are doing and being the best you can be.  My mother used to say the grass always looks greener on the other side, I am too busy with my grass to notice if yours is greener!

Palmira, Colombia, is a small city, but the congestion and traffic are intimidating. I remember being afraid to drive when I first arrived in Colombia. I was terrified by the traffic, the crazy drivers, and the motorcycles that passed on both sides when they sped by. It is still like that! I am thankful for these struggles that I have overcome. I didn’t let them break me! I drive myself everywhere now, always listening to good music that calms me. The secret to my life here is letting every situation be what it is instead of what I think it should be. I made the best of it and gained my independence. I have made friends in all the stores I visit while doing errands. My imperfect Spanish has served me well. When I arrive home after my chores, contentment fills me up. Independence is satisfying when you have moved to another country. Something we take for granted becomes a challenge when we move out of our country of birth. I haven’t waited for the perfect path to appear because tracks are made by walking, not waiting, and for that matter, I walk a lot when out and about—something we don’t need to do when living in the United States. Many people would miss the easy access life provides them in the USA. I don’t. It is all part of life for me now.

After twelve years in Colombia, I think of life like a budget. I cannot afford stress, envy, negative vibes, or doubt. I will only receive peace, love, positivity, trust, and loyalty. Life for me is no longer about having several friends but the quality of my friends. I love people who get excited about sunsets, hummingbirds, birds singing in the morning, a full moon, a beautiful view of the Valle del Cauca, heart-to-heart conversations with kind people, and people who don’t mind a rainstorm or the noise of parrots chattering. This is my kind of life. I am grateful for where I am today. It was a new beginning back then. Now it’s where I want to be. I embraced uncertainty when I moved here, and I know I still have many chapters left. Branches that will unfold year by year. I have given myself space to listen to my inner voice and not the noise of the world surrounding us all. Maybe I am living in a bubble, but it is a lovely bubble I have created through perseverance and unrelenting strength. I choose what matters and what doesn’t. I relax, I breathe, and I stay positive. I control my life and how I respond to all situations. Thirteen years after Misha’s death, I am blessed with the wisdom acquired through hardships, learning, and life lessons. I have messed up, but I got wiser; I have gone to bed at night in fear of the future, but I didn’t give up. I have let go of what doesn’t serve me. I am grateful for where I am now. Every day is a new beginning. That is how I live thirteen years after my daughter’s death.

Posted in Achievements, Colombia, Entreprenuer, Glampingcolombia, Live your best life, Uncategorized, Villa Migelita Ecolodge

Glamping, A New Start

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

It has been too long since I wrote my previous blog. I wrote about how I wanted to reset my business after the last years of the pandemic. Two years of Covid restrictions wiped out all I had accomplished and worked hard to achieve. During my time away from writing, a tiny house made of glass for glamping was constructed here in Colombia at Villa Migelita Ecolodge. Glamping is an accurate word now, and it is a popular way for many people to spend time away in the country and take a break from the cities they reside in. The idea that I wrote about changing my business’s direction has turned into something bigger than I had imagined, and I am grateful for every second of this new phase in my life. 

In my last blog, I wrote that I planned to build this tiny house. It became a goal that I was determined to keep. I focused on building, and I pushed any doubts out of my mind. I knew that I needed to get back into the business of hosting, to have people here enjoying nature, watching the hummingbirds, and looking out to incredible views. I choose to trust the voice inside me that guided me on this new journey. 

Losing my business during the Covid 19 years gave me a different perspective on everything I had done before when I had a thriving business. I realized that I enjoyed staying in my Villa during the beginning days of quarantine; I was always in a hurry to get back home when I went out to do errands. Before Covid, I planned adventures for my guests, and I always looked for new tourist activities to share. After the country opened up, I knew my Villa was beautiful with magnificent views, but I hadn’t used that as my focal point as a tourism business. I started to see the value in what I had right in front of me when I received guests again at Villa Migelita Ecolodge. I took these observations and created a plan.

First: I took a small loan. A significant decision, as I didn’t want any debt, and I hadn’t had any obligation for many years. My decision to expand when I was unsure if I could make money again was to learn a lesson. Use other people’s money if you can. Second: believe in your judgment, even if it is something you wouldn’t have usually considered after two years of lost time and money. Third: accept what you have done, whether the outcome will be good or bad. It’s our thinking that holds us back more than anything else. There’s no reason to imprison yourself. Don’t think outside the box. Think like there is no box. Sometimes, we need to listen to that inner voice that guides us.

I opened up Cristal House Glamping on January 1st, 2022. Every weekend since has sold out. I am now getting many week-day bookings also. My new Glamping business has brought more bookings to my Ecolodge, and I am meeting many young professionals from Cali, Colombia. Young people are the life-blood of our world. I never imagined that my idea of entering the Glamping business would be successful right away. I thought it would be the same as when I opened my Ecolodge many years ago—steady growth with slow word-of-mouth recommendations. Instagram and social media expansion has changed the way new business evolves. I am so indebted to the younger generation that visits me. They send me videos I never would know how to produce. They are all video filmmakers these days. They have shown me that using the stories on my Instagram and Facebook reach so many more people than I ever thought possible. Their clever use of photo opportunities brings different ways of presenting a view or an activity to further light. This old dog is learning new tricks! I am also making so many new friends. By writing about this in my blog, I hope to reach and help others who want to bring back their business after the past years they lost. Just look at the young people around you. They can guide you to success!

Now I am building another Glamping house here at Villa Migelita Ecolodge. That money I had from my loan brought me more money through my bookings. I am not keeping it in the bank but spending it growing my small business. Again, I am following my inner voice. It is still dawning on me that I am doing more in my 60s as an entrepreneur than I have ever done before. Hopefully, nature will always be a widespread love to many, with amazing views and incredible birds that people love to photograph.

After years of being restricted by the pandemic, people want to be outdoors. I have used it to my advantage. I am grateful and humbled. I am learning to be at peace with my decisions after such a long time of subtle criticism by others that I choose to ignore. I am my support system. It is empowering. I have chosen myself, and it has worked out. You can do it too! Just believe in yourself, filter out unwanted noise from others around you, and listen to the most authentic voice you have—your own.  

Posted in Achievements, Live your best life, minimalism, Order, structure, Uncategorized, Villa Migelita Ecolodge

Minimalism: The Next Step to Organization of Your Home and Life

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

My last blog Minimalism 101 gave you some ideas on how to organize your home while we find ourselves sheltered in place during this unprecedented time in history. I want to expand on the next steps to keep your household straightened out. If you are still working on projects don’t feel frustrated. Just keep on trucking along!

Recently I organized my office which is the only place that has often gotten cluttered since I moved to Villa Migelita Ecolodge in Colombia. I often procrastinate about filing paperwork. I have made a rule that I will not let myself go a week without putting my different receipts I collect in the appropriate file. I find when we give ourselves these rules, we follow them if we make them a habit. That is the secret to becoming minimalist. Make it your normal to keep your mind in a decluttered state by keeping your area of living uncluttered. Make it a routine.

In Colombia we are in strict quarantine, there are no exceptions and we have to follow the rules, no exceptions. I have found that I have to become a very patient person. I wait in lines on my day out for essentials, and I do not panic buy anything. I don’t want to have to find space for too many purchases when I return home. I don’t have my maids who always accompanied me before the pandemic and came home and put away the groceries and had places for everything. I now have to do this myself, my son cannot come with me to help. We are given our day to go out by our country ID and only one member of the household may leave. I find these days exhausting because of the time spent waiting and then returning home to put away everything. I am sure you can understand that I buy just what I need, nothing more. In Colombia, there is nothing that is unavailable and I am assured of my day out each week.

I mention routine in my last blog and now in this blog. As each new day starts I know what I have planned just as if I was not made to stay in my home all the time. I believe this is key to keeping up with cleaning and not allowing yourself to use staying in your apartment, farm, big or small home, lots of lands, no land, wherever you are sheltering in place as an excuse to do nothing because you don’t have a reason to do it. Your reason should be because you like to be surrounded by an atmosphere of peace and relaxation. When you know what your plan is for the day and you complete it you can then do whatever it is your want to do without looking around at the chaos that can creep up in a few days.

My mother used to tell me when I got my first apartment and was living on my own to do a few things each day and your home will be clean. It works. I also give myself one day where I don’t do anything. That can be a reward to yourself for having a home that looks nice if you take a day off. Usually, on my reward day, I read and enjoy sitting outside or hanging in my hammock. I have found I love to try new recipes that I can use once I have tourists visiting Villa Migelita Ecolodge again. Every day after I finish the chores I do Yoga. Yoga is calming for the mind and helps relieve the stress we create by worrying. I have one day that is a very heavy cleaning, which my son helps with. It is amazing how quickly we finish and the Villa looks wonderful.

In my last blog, I suggested that you go through your home room by room and write a list of what needs to be done in all areas that bother you. In this blog, I want you to continue with your projects, and for those you have completed I want you to keep them in their new state. Make your agenda for each day and follow it. Again make it a habit. I just like everyone have days that I don’t feel like doing what is on my checklist for the day. However, my mind will nag at me if I don’t do what I have planned. This is because I have created my routine and so can you! Also, it doesn’t have to be confined to the inside of your house, it can be your yard, your garage, planting spring flowers, anything that is an area that you think about but procrastinate because you feel it can be overwhelming. Just say to yourself, what else do I have to do that is more important and start chipping away at the activity.

Believe me when I say I was a bit overwhelmed at keeping this huge Villa clean with just my son who is helping me with the cleaning. We have worked it out and my place is cleaner than ever. Even on the day to do nothing, we find time to sweep the floors and put in a load of laundry. I am sticking with my environmentally friendly ways even as the world is becoming less polluted during the pandemic. My next minimalist blog will discuss ways to be more environmentally friendly so we can keep the Earth clear like it is looking now with less human pollution being sent into the atmosphere. Let me know what you think and sign up and share my blogs!

Posted in Alternative Lifestyle, Awakening, child death, Colombia, entrepeneur, expat life, freedom, friendship, hummingbirds, life lessons, nature, Perfection and Peace, Spanish speaking, strength, Thanksgiving blessings, Uncategorized, Villa Migelita Ecolodge

Bohemian Rhapsody

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise
I recently went to see Bohemian Rhapsody here in Colombia, South America.  I did not know a lot about Freddy Mercury’s  history, or upbringing. I  had to read a lot about him before going to the theater to see this marvelous movie in Spanish (I was a bit worried about my Spanish but I understood everything). He was an amazing talent, a true genius. I was young when he became famous, and to be honest his music was what I liked to dance to. I didn’t care about his personal life, and in reality I preferred music that was not Rock as I was a Disco loving girl. His music captured people like me, people outside of his genre, people who were not Rock fans, but who loved a good beat. This is where his true gift showed itself. Everyone could value and appreciate his talent, even those like me who enjoyed a different style of music. I am listening with new interest to all the songs that made him famous. I love to watch the sunset at night here at Villa Migelita Ecolodge while listening to music. The other night I was listening to Stevie Wonder sing Ribbon in the Sky.   How interesting to think this man who is also an inspiration to all, just like Freddy Mercury, sings about sunsets. He cannot see what he is singing about but I felt like he was seeing the sunset with me as I sat watching the sun go down. This is when I realized that life is a gift to all of us no matter our limitations. We all share heartbreak, it might not be the same, but we all share that shattered heart in some way. With that realization, I believe that Thanksgiving is truly a time to be grateful for what we do have in our lives that is good, that is of value, how our lives can change in a moment and we should appreciate anything that brings us blessings. We alone have the ability to move forward in our lives, even when the situations around us are bringing us down. We are not without distractions that throw us off path, but we can always redirect ourselves forward again by staying positive and persevering with determination. I find myself thinking about these sorts of things when I watch the sun go down while listening to music. Music is a great healer, and for me has always been a way to help when I have a bad day. Music is always playing at Villa Migelita Ecolodge, often Spanish music which helps me with my Spanish-speaking. Speaking a new language is an obstacle that I have overcome, one I should give myself credit for. We should give ourselves kudos when we accomplish great things. Learning a new language and becoming very independent here in Colombia is an achievement I am quite proud of. I drive alone to do errands now, I run into friends and speak in Spanish easily if not perfectly to all. I write to my friends on Whats app chat in Spanish and have an active social life filled with new friends from this different phase in my life. This to me is a blessing, one I have worked eight years to achieve, along with running a hotel in the rain forest of Colombia. Many thought I was crazy and perhaps I was a bit erratic when I moved to Colombia. After all, I was still recovering from my daughter’s murder and a horrible divorce. In my mind Colombia was only a 3 1/2 hour flight from South Florida. I knew I could obtain great healthcare and live well. I didn’t take into account that many people still felt Colombia was unsafe, nor that I was actually isolating myself from many people by moving. I found out that there were many who disapproved when I returned for a retirement luncheon and found myself being given the cold shoulder by people I had known and loved for many years. I was still very overwhelmed with grief, and in actuality I was a different person from the one these old friends knew in the past. I was beaten down inside. I will never forget that luncheon and how I felt like a deer in the headlights.  As the years have progressed and I have made a life for myself here high in the Andes mountains of Colombia, I no longer feel that sense of insecurity I felt that day surrounded by all the people I had grown up with as a young flight attendant. I feel blessed. It turned out I made the right decision for myself, even if others didn’t understand. It was my destiny, and who would know that I would need such a rare surgery that would have cost so much money in the United States. The great healthcare I have here was such a wonderful blessing this year and I have healed quite successfully from my hip surgery. When I was watching the movie of Freddy Mercury I was struck by the loneliness he felt, it was subtlety presented but I picked up on it. I  have felt that same loneliness myself. A loneliness brought on by being different. When you don’t follow the norm, people will find a reason to be critical. I now try to accept when people are not what I expected them to be, when they hurt me, when I am let down. I am surrounded by peace, nature, beauty,  and wonderful friends here in Colombia. I found a beautiful spot to heal from great tragedy. When I am out doing errands, I am always thinking just this one last thing and I can go back to my Villa and enjoy the wonderful place I alone am responsible for making a place of comfort and joy. One I share with guests who come to stay with me, and become friends with new people from all over the world. I recently had a young couple who are also doing what they want with their lives, and doing it while young and healthy. They wrote about my hotel in this blog. I was so flattered, because they captured in their writing and their fabulous photos Villa Migelita Ecolodge perfectly. My greatest reason to be thankful this year is that when I think of my daughter now, I think of her watching the hummingbirds with me, or hearing the rain fall, or watching the fog move in and then move out over the mountains. I feel her presence in all the symmetry of nature that surrounds me. Bohemian Rhapsody      
Posted in Colombia, Colombian life, expat life, photo challenge, Uncategorized

I am now a Resident of Colombia!

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/photo-challenges/satisfaction/

It took almost 6 years but I am now a legal resident of Colombia. If you relocate to another country it is always a process every single year for your Visa. I now have my residency and I don’t have to do another thing for five years. However, I can start the process of being a dual citizen in 3 years. Which of course I will do! I love my extraordinary life of adventure and friends here in Colombia. I love that even though I have endured many hardships, including some here, I have persevered. I haven’t let anything stop me. Now I am a legal resident. No more E for extranjero before my cedula number. The ID we all carry when we live in Colombia. I am full of satisfaction for an extraordinary life! One full of friendship, color and adventure. These photos were taken by friends at immigration. They know me very well. I like them so much. It seems la gringa en Colombia is here to stay!resident 1

resident 2
My friends at immigration who know me by name

Posted in Uncategorized

A Bridge We Can All Cross

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

I have discovered so much about myself in the last 5 years. I have found out I can continue to grow even when heartache lives inside my soul. When I lost my daughter almost 6 years ago, I wondered how I would go on. I have discovered that I can center myself in what is happening in my life now instead of what might happen or might not happen. For instance: I was devastated in 2014 when the murderer of my daughter was given probation instead of jail time for her death. There are really no words for heartache like I felt and still feel about the outcome. I read every single day people who get sentenced appropriately for the same kind of crime, but I also read stories like mine where a corrupt judge lets the killer walk. I entered 2015 with a mindset of anger over the outcome of the plea deal he got. I was extremely vexed as my daughters date of death approached in January and the killer Christian Cvitanovich was putting photos up on his Facebook page showing him drinking and without a care in the world. He even lists his occupation as ‘retired’. I would not be human if I said I could forgive and forget. I can’t, I just can’t. However, I have moved on with my life. I have lost a child, and I have moved forward, so if I can do it we all can. It is a bridge we all can cross no matter what our personal problems are: that bridge leads us to a better way of living. Her death has taught me to be a kinder more loving human being and to live my life with substance and integrity.

So, let me share some thoughts about my year 2015 with you my readers.

These are my Truisms from Colombia.

  1. No matter what you must live your life the way you want. Do not let anyone else influence your belief in yourself. I have progressed, not regressed. It is not easy, I have had many sleepless nights these past years.
  2. Walk your path in life the way you want. I have lost touch with some people in my life, including my brother. He doesn’t approve of my move to another country that he thinks is dangerous, yet here I am 5 years later with a Bed and Breakfast. Colombia just made the Forbes list of the 14 coolest places to visit in 2016! It does make me sad that my brother is not in contact with me, and I continue to send him notes, they go unanswered. All that I  have done has begun to heal my life and the suffering I have felt. Sometimes, we will feel we are not doing the right thing based on other’s beliefs…but we are actually where we should be!
  3. I think at Christmas we give too much to our children. They expect too much and have no idea about the hardships all over the world, including the United States. Why not do something like give your child a pen pal from another country? Join the Christian Children’ s Fund or another worthy cause and let your child write the letters to the child you are helping? What a good way to show compassion to those less fortunate! The cost is minimal and the lesson is wonderful. Your child, grandchild, or family member will learn a valuable cultural lesson. Not everyone receives a large number of gifts under the Christmas tree! My own son CJ actually wrote me and asked I give my gift to him for Christmas to the charity of my choice. I was so proud.
  4. Working hard for something you do not care about is called stress, but working hard for your passion is called peace.
  5. Stop looking at what others are doing for your definition of happiness! I can attest the internet is full of a lot of bullshit. I started my own personal Facebook page when my life was going downhill. I would put photos up that looked perfect but they didn’t tell the real story. I can guarantee this is true for 99.9 percent of the internet.
  6. Stop holding grudges over silly things that happen with people in your life. I had a friend, someone I adored and loved for many years. When I retired I gave all my uniforms to her. She came to my house to get them. We had wine and I opened my mouth and said “the last time I flew with you, you were horrible to another flight attendant. You were wrong, he was a great worker, perhaps you are making this job too much of your life.” I was wrong for criticizing, but she is wrong for giving up a friendship that was 3 decades long over that! She left (with the uniforms, LOL) and 30 years of friendship went with her.  Always apologize, because there are always two sides, which I did, and let go. If someone reaches out and apologizes accept that apology. I haven’t heard a word from my daughter’s murderer, perhaps if he apologized I could go on to forgive. I will never know because he hasn’t ever acknowledged any responsibility for his crime.
  7. Look at any obstacle in your life as an opportunity! I believe hardships are in your life for a reason and they show you what is worth fighting for! I am living a lovely life now, but I still have bumps along the way. I get past them and so can you. Do not let fear get in your way! There have been many times where fear of the unknown has kept me awake at night. I always remind myself that I have so many possibilities that are in front of me.
  8. Believe in your dream! I did and was recently published in International Living (scroll to page 8). Now I am adding a bar to Villa Migelita because I believe in my abilities. If you don’t try you will never know what you can accomplish. No one is entitled to success, so you must look for ways to find it.
  9. Be happy with what you have. If you have food on the table, clothes on your back, a place to live, then you are doing pretty well considering there are people all over the world who can barely get by. Choose simplicity and try to appreciate what you have instead of wanting more.
  10. Stop being a material person, our lives are defined by not what we have but what we go after. A sense of accomplishment is the best gift you can give yourself.
  11. Travel more, experience a different culture, learn a new language!
  12. Get the drama out of your life! I have stopped anything that can lead to negativity in my own personal space. What a relief it is not to have it around me. Even when I feel hurt by another person’s actions I try not to react.
  13. Have a plan for your future, a vision. It will get you through tough times!

So there you have some of my thoughts on the last year. I have learned from my past and can talk about my future like it has already happened. I have learned to trust myself and the decisions I make without need of anyone’s opinion. I have used the struggles from my past to shape my future. Sometimes taking a risk is worth the journey.

Posted in Uncategorized

Lessons, Learning, Loving

Posted on by hummingsfromparadise

I have lived on my farm in Colombia, South America for over three years now, and what a learning experience it has been! When I first moved into Villa Migelita, I was not pleased with the way life on the farm was turning out. I had moved from a house in a small thriving city that I could walk down and get bread in the morning, or go to the pizza place at night. I had access to a store with fruits and vegetables, most anything I could need. I had neighbors and family nearby. My quest for the perfect farm was fun. We looked a lot; it was interesting and the farms were all beautiful, but they all had something that I did not like or not suitable for my needs. Then one day I saw Villa Migelita. I knew from the moment I set my eyes on my Villa she was the one I had searched for. She was old; close to 100 years on this earth. She was in need of lots of renovation, but her basic structure was so perfect it reminded me of Italian Villa’s that I had seen during my travels as a flight attendant. Then I took some photo’s and one photo had an orb in the picture and I knew this was my deceased daughter Misha telling me this was my farm, the one I had searched for; a clear sign from her. I made an offer and soon was the proud owner of Villa Migelita.
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January of 2012 was the month I finally accomplished my life long dream of retiring in the mountains, a dream I have had since spending summers in Tennessee as my children grew up. Villa Migelita had basic renovations completed before my move. Her rooms were all painted; along with adding large windows throughout the house. All the views surrounding her were magnificent. She still needed much work, but living there would be fine; or so I thought. My first months were a learning experience. Colombia has two seasons; rainy and dry. There is no real seasonal change here in my department of Valle del Cauca, Colombia. I loved the temperature immediately upon moving in. Very chilly in the mornings and evenings; enough to always need a jacket, but then by the middle of the day comfortable without a jacket and no need of air conditioning. The doors and windows were always open with the fresh breeze flowing throughout my home. My animals were thrilled with the wide open spaces they had to wander the farm, and the dogs loved the walks they took with me while I discovered the mountains and rivers nearby. Sounds perfect; but then little things started happening that I was not so happy with. The rain would cause mud, mud would be all over the house, patio and my laundry area as my dogs would walk in it and carry mud wherever they went. One day I was down in the laundry area and there were little worms everywhere! I was horrified. My gas water heater did not work with the plumbing and would either let out scalding water or not work and the water would be ice-cold. The first week I threw a tantrum of sorts after not having a hot shower. I look back at that morning and laugh now. It was a simple fix of just buying electric shower heads. The construction was ongoing, and I knew things would get better, however I was neglecting to see the beauty around me and focusing on the annoyances. Going to get groceries or going to a restaurant seemed a far distance now. I thought to myself “Could I have misjudged my love of solitude and life in the mountains?” I started to dislike the rain, even though I have always loved rainy days. I started to feel lonely, even though I have always loved spending time without a lot of people around. I started to second guess myself. Along with that I had not been to the States for a very long time and I missed my friends and family. I booked a trip to the USA to get a taste of my old life.

Going to the States was exactly what I needed. I was not used to the big highways and hectic lifestyle of the United States,I realized this the minute I drove my rental car on I-95 from Miami International Airport. YIKES. My first big wake-up was getting used to the traffic I encountered. I had lived in Colombia for over a year and had gotten used to small towns, simple living and nature. I will admit the Colombian’s drive crazy, but the roads in the city are small and when I drive I go slow and take my time; if you do not drive slow you will hit a bicycle, horse-drawn carriage, wheelchair, pedestrian or someone pushing a cart with fruits or juice for sale! Another thing I noticed immediately was no one really looks you in the eye in Florida (and anywhere I travel when in the States), nor do they say hello when you walk into an office or store. In Colombia it is considered impolite to not acknowledge others when in offices or entering any building or business. This is a cultural difference between the two countries. I had forgotten that the people of the USA are more involved with their phones and electronic devices than connecting to the world by smiling and even just looking up from their phones. I had been just like this when I lived in Florida, my phone was always in my hand wherever I went. I have a little phone now in Colombia, it is a basic Nokia you all had in the 1990’s! I have a pre-paid phone without internet in the States. I had completely lost the habit of constantly being online, I had changed from my old ways to a new way of thinking and living. I did enjoy running to the drug store, or going to the super stores of all kinds. We do have some huge stores in Cali, Colombia along with malls and huge construction stores in both Palmira and Cali, however it is never a short drive to them like it is in the States. I found the shopping fun while I was back in Florida, but again it was so impersonal. The crowds inside all the stores would make me feel anxious. This was new to me; almost like I had never lived and grown up in South Florida. How did I change so quickly and forget the way I used to live? Colombia was my way of life now and by returning to South Florida I was able to see this clearly.

When I came home to Villa Migelita, my animals were all awaiting me with such love. I saw that some changes had taken place with a fence being constructed around the patio to help keep the mud at bay when it rained. The garbage from all the continuing construction had been burned and taken away. The little worms that had appeared never came back. The laundry room had been organized and cleaned up perfectly, and it was huge. I now had a perfect place to feed the animals and keep cleaning supplies. I will admit that I missed a dryer when I first moved up to the mountains. In the small town where I had rented before moving, the house had a laundry area inside and the clothes dried quickly on the line. During rainy season it can take a couple of days for clothes to dry on the line. I got used to it, and now I would never even consider owning a dryer. I like the way I can just take my clothes right from the line on a hanger and put them in my closet. I also realized I was a minimalist now. I have no need for a bunch of new clothes or the latest electronic device. I am so backward I have no idea how to work an I pad and am just now considering buying one. I know that sounds funny to everyone, but it is how I live. My trip to the States gave me a lesson I needed to see. I really loved the life I now was living in the mountains and I just could not see it when I first moved into a house that still needed a lot of work. When I came back I had a learned a valuable lesson; I was not whom I used to be, I was evolving and sometimes when we evolve we need a wake-up call to see just that!

So now I am almost done with the last phase of construction at Villa Migelita. Villa Migelita has been a work in progress for 2 plus years. I have become one with nature. I have made my outside farm beautiful by hiring a farm manager that keeps the flowers and plants in perfect condition. I have a huge front entrance gate that will have a sign welcoming my guests of my soon to open Bed and Breakfast. The entrance road to my house is lined with blooming flowers. I have hummingbird feeders everywhere. I have two beautiful kiosko’s that are perfect places to sit and read a book, while hummingbirds buzz by you. Hammocks are all around to take a little siesta. My lake was repaired and the landscaping is now full of plants I picked out and they are flourishing. I have acquired a menagerie of animals, and they all leave peacefully with each other. The mud problem is no longer an issue; but my dogs do have dirty feet sometimes and I don’t care. They are my loves; they are my friends. I have learned to let go of things that took me a lifetime to learn. I have learned to let go and let be. As I write this I look outside at the hummingbirds feeding and resting on the lemon tree. I have no desire to return to fancy clothes, jewelry and cars. I do not think there is anything wrong with that lifestyle, I lived it for years. I just like this lifestyle better. I have learned to love solitude. I have learned to love and appreciate seeing a butterfly land on my finger, or a hummingbird fly inside to visit me, which you can view here. 89 butterfly 002

I have realized the longer I live here in the mountains of Colombia the closer I am to accomplishing my dream of a Bed and Breakfast. This dream was always in my thoughts when I first moved to Villa Migelita. I was always considering this dream in the back of my mind as I continued to update my home. Then one day I decided to go for it. After all I had been a flight attendant for years and I love people, getting to know new friends, and entertaining in my home. What better way to do that than to bring people to see what I have accomplished in a short period? To show others you can fulfill your secret desires even when faced with crippling pain like the death of my daughter. Now I am so close to opening, it will happen soon. I am ready. I have no more frustrations or second guessing. I have only optimism for my future. I have learned to love myself for the person I have become since the past sadness I have endured. I want to show others it is not necessary to let life’s worst circumstances take you down. My future is firmly embedded here in the mountains of Colombia. I will prevail. This is Villa Migelita now. This is the view from the 4th floor balcony which looks out over the valley. Marley bite, video's from hike and pink tree 022
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Villa Migelita is a two short months from completion. My website is http://www.villamigelita.com with all the information in the tabs. I will have more pictures soon, but you can always look at my Facebook page Villa Migelita for continuing updates on the progress of the Bed and Breakfast and more of fun videos of my life and my animalsPicMonkey Collage in the mountains of Colombia.