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Can a Person be Misplaced?

I went to the United States recently and immediately found myself ‘misplaced’. I gave my debit card to the cashiers when checking out a purchase, while they looked at me as if I was from another planet. I took so long to pump my gas another guy paid for my pump and I had to go inside with him to straighten out the purchase. I found myself saying good day to everyone when I entered an office to not even get a response, I was not fitting into the world over there! I am now officially a misplaced person in the United States!

I moved to Colombia in 2011 with no knowledge of Spanish and a dream. My life is my truth now, but apparently I am not good with the evolution that continues to overtake society in the United States. I can now speak Spanish but I cannot understand life as I used to know it anymore. There are too many uncertainties and no guarantees. I found myself constantly missing my glass walled bedroom in Colombia and Netflix. I hated the constant barrage of negativity spewed out from the television, I noticed that a lot of homes I visited were dark and without light streaming inside their homes. I need light! I have my doors open and a breeze flowing constantly at Villa Migelita. People who are part of my family disappointed me. It seems that no one is more important than their own self.  A member of my family asked me whom I was leaving Villa Migelita to! When I answered honestly, insults and really bad words said like they were a normal part of every day conversation! It seems as if polite society is no longer in existence.

Snow for a part of the day in Newport, RI

I realize I have become mentally strong. Even though there were horrible things happening while I visited the USA, I was able to keep focused on what I have accomplished and will continue to carry out. I did have some wonderful moments while visiting and I enjoyed them so much. Making a snowman with my granddaughter was so special. Seeing my best friend and laughing so hard I cried was wonderful. Making memories with my granddaughter is always lovely, but the other stuff…that stuff she has to endure while I live my life unable to do anything is truly heartbreaking. I have come to realize you can only try your best in life and after that you have no control. Mental strength is knowing you can manage your emotions while others cannot. Mental strength is speaking up against things you see that are wrong, even when it disturbs others peace. Mental strength is revoking all that is wrong and saying so.  I have that now. I didn’t when I moved to Colombia.

So now I am back in my home in the mountains of Colombia, enjoying my life and my solitude. I have much I wish I could change about what I experienced while in the United States recently. I can’t so I accept that. I know what matters and what does not. I have made a bit of a dent in some problems but not a great one. I have made new friends and have shown that I am a person of integrity to many. I practice gratitude every single day. I am mindful of what matters and what doesn’t. If I have learned anything from my visit to the USA is that I have truly become a different person than I was when I left and moved to Colombia. I have detached myself from taking things personally and I say what I mean. I focus on the positive, even if the best does not always happen. That is who I am now. If that makes me displaced then I am doing something right.



Posted in Uncategorized

This Distant World

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Villa Migelita stands out as the mountains surround her.

When I moved to Colombia I left a lot of baggage behind. By baggage I mean: “intellectual baggage that keeps one from thinking clearly”, it seems I was always fighting conflict before I moved to Colombia. By moving, I sought a new lifestyle free of conflict, negativity and chaos. I wanted to live in nature with my animals, to wake up and hear birds sing, write, hike in the mountains, swim under waterfalls, find a style of living that brought me to a place of peace. I have found this way of living in Colombia, although I have had some bumps along the way, for the most part it is a peaceful lifestyle and certainly adventurous. I live in a home that is beautiful and simple, and I no longer have the need for a lot of ‘stuff’ including the constant connection with others by having a phone in my hand every second of the day. Nor do I have a credit card for every store, nor a mountain of debt just because I must have the latest phone, computer, clothes, electronic devices and decor of the moment. Let’s face it; I am un-prepared and sorely behind this fast growing world of technology, the way people don’t interact with each other anymore, and I can’t find my way anywhere. I still keep my passwords written in a book. I am really lacking in many areas of social media advancement. I am not sure I care. I love my simple lifestyle. I was so grateful to return to Villa Migelita and my life of peace.

My most recent trip to the United States started off with the car rental place telling me I could no longer leave the airport without a sun-pass so I needed to buy the 13.99 a day option they were offering at a discount of 8.99 a day. I laughed so hard when he said that. I hardly use 25.00$ in tolls when visiting Florida. I told him that was ridiculous, and asked would it be possible to pay 8.99 for one day (even though that in of itself was stupid as the toll is 50 cents to leave the airport) until I could get my sun-pass from my Florida residence. “No, if you do that you will be charged 13.99 for the entire length of your car rental agreement” and he offered me the advice to go down the road a bit into Miami and buy a sun-pass at CVS drug store. He gave me directions. So after getting up at an early hour and taking a flight from Colombia, going through customs and then arriving at the rental place with my ears hurting because of my vertigo, I got in my rental car to buy a sun-pass at a CVS. I found the CVS without problem (a miracle actually if you don’t have GPS which I do not as I have a pre-paid phone in the USA) and entered and asked for the sun-pass from the cashier as it is sold behind the counter. She just looked at me as if I was speaking a strange language. I guess I was to her as she called over a co-worker who spoke to me in English, because she could only speak Spanish. Wow. So I then speak to her in Spanish and she made a face, and she acted like I was annoying her more. Great start to my vacation in Florida. So now I have the sun-pass and no way to activate it because my phone does not have media. I called a friend and thank God she answered and did this for me. I finally made it to my residence 4 hours after landing in Miami!

I am a person who treats others with respect, but I found the rudeness during my stay by many people I encountered unsettling. I go out of my way to be polite when I buy anything, anywhere! Where does this disrespect come from? Especially from employees? I seriously find that the most disturbing! When talking with the doctor’s office that had me in collections I spoke with a woman whom I knew. She said the employees who charged me the wrong price were not at fault. I asked “then who was at fault?” The answer was nonsensical as it could only be them and lack of training, so was it the superiors? I heard her say under her breath as she hung up the phone “jesus” like I was the problem! Was I the problem for trying to correct a situation that I didn’t cause? As a retired flight attendant from Delta Air Lines, I couldn’t get away with speaking to a customer that way! I would be fired. I am serious. So is this the new normal? Is it typical and I am just living in my jungle in Colombia with the birds and butterflies, no idea of the reality of the world anymore?  I also found my lack of a ‘proper’ phone which everyone seems to have in their hands all the time an impediment. I have phone and text. I can also hook up to internet when available but I don’t. I really don’t care about it. I have no need to look at the darn phone all day! Am I a weird because I have no wish to be connected all the time to others on the internet? I really have no desire to see my email nor others photos and thoughts around the clock! UGH but I will say a GPS would be nice to have, but I probably couldn’t figure it out if I had one! I need to buy an old style GPS for my next trip to the USA. I got lost so much while driving I know that it is my only choice. I write directions but this seems to be a lost habit and it no longer works with all the huge expressways and different names of all of them! I don’t want to say I am horribly incompetent with social media; I actually have a knack for networking. I have a successful blog,  a successful Facebook page, a successful website, and now an Instagram account. However, I am not up on the latest new thing with technology. I do have an iPad. I love it. I don’t know all I should about my device. I do have Yoga classes downloaded, and my Kindle app for reading. I have the Facebook, Instagram, and my email on it. I am sure that I am lacking so much in what I actually could have, but I don’t have anyone to teach me. I am now on Trip Advisor, and I am  on AirBnB but it takes me a while to get these things started.  So, like I said I am behind, like the last person running a marathon and coming up to the finish line last.

As I finish this blog I have one thing to say; ‘This is a distant world now.” No one really connects with each other in a personal way.They post photos and their life online and we all read it. I do the same. So I am not criticizing, I am just making obvious points. I miss seeing the people I love, but I understand it is not personal, it is just the way it is. I come home to my mountain home and I love my life of solitude. I am very happy to be writing my thoughts in my blog. I don’t miss real social interaction. I guess this is the new world we live in.