Posted in hummingbirds, Uncategorized

May Peace be with You

I’m sitting on this Sunday after exercising and doing my Yoga and all I can hear is the sounds of my hummingbird’s attacking each other. They are posed for fight, tails spread. Their sounds of hitting each other while their wings rapidly flutter is  a constant whir in my consciousness. They are relentless. I’m just relaxing and trying to read, but I cannot because I’m endlessly fascinated by their behavior. They never let up. They are little gangs of brutality and beauty.Looking up 008

I have hummingbirds year round. The many species I have interact and accept each other as best they can. I’m an impartial observer. That is why I find them so interesting. Sometimes they drink from my feeders without much fighting, but today that is not the case. They all are militant like fighter jets bombing the enemy. My presence so near is not even acknowledged. They are going for the feeders like it is their last meal.

As I am distracted by them, I have a lot of thoughts running through my brain. They actually remind me of how people are responding to this presidential campaign going on now in the United States. They are ready to kill for the nectar, just as people are ready to give up friends and family for their beliefs about this election.

Maybe I have mellowed in my life since I’ve moved to Paradise, but one thing I have learned is you are not going to change anyone to your way of thinking. Just like my hummers. They are not going to stop fighting for their time at the feeders, taking that precious sip of nectar. Let it go. Vote your choice and be done with it. Hopefully, the world will survive just like my very aggressive hummingbirds and we will find something else to be scandalized about.

Me, well I’m aggrieved that there is no true fairness in this world. Some people win and some people lose. I lost in my quest to get the murderer of my daughter in jail. It breaks my heart, and there are many just like me who have not seen justice. We go on. Just like those hummingbirds who fight every single day for the chance to drink the nectar. Let your life become about good things, peaceful things, happiness. Stop trying to make everyone see it your way. It’s not important. What is important is being a good human.

Sometimes my hummingbirds are peaceful with each other, they sit nicely while they all feed together. Let us try to be that way with our lives. They often sit peacefully together drinking nectar and flying off to rest on a branch.  My home is a place of peace where the hummingbirds entertain and amuse all who visit.  I’m certain they are not worried about the other species, sizes, sex , or colors of those they battle with to get the feeders to themselves. Maybe, just maybe, us humans should look to nature more often. The fighting seems to be a bit more fair. No prejudice involved, just wanting to have a place to feed. That is why I have so many feeders: I give them all an even chance. What they do with that chance is a decision they make. What happens in this world is kind of like the hummingbirds, it is all out of our control even when we want so much to have the control. Just do your part and vote. Then let it go. Don’t lose friends over this. It is not worth it.Looking up 031

I’ve come to the conclusion we all think differently. We have brains that look at the exact same message and process it in completely different ways. If we only associate with those who think exactly like us, what do we learn? I’m all for freedom of speech, but I remember my mother and father always saying to me “politics and religion are not to be discussed with others ” and I have to agree. It is just not worth it. When I was younger I didn’t know what any of my friends believed. Because we were just having fun and liked each other for the people we were.

I’m certain we can choose to do this again. With social media it is difficult: but you can stop the hate by posting good things, happy things on the Internet. If you are offended bite your tongue, let it go. Let peace become your way of life, not hate. Hate never wins, even when you are seeing so much of it. Just let it go. Let peace be with you.


Posted in child death, Colombian life, Perfection and Peace, Uncategorized

A Thin Line

Life isn’t a narrow path upon which we walk in a certain direction. Life is curves and loops, a winding road to a quest which is impossible to predict. We can try our hardest to obtain our desires, but then something changes and so do we. We have to adapt to what is given to us.

We can take any direction, thinking it is the right one. But along comes a bump and that deviation changes everything forever. What we get is often not what we expect nor what we have planned for. We need to adapt. We need to think broadly in terms of our future. We can’t be limited in our observations of life and the world. We must be open to all possibilities.

There are lines we should not cross, immoral ones. Those are the exceptions. We have to stay true to our own moral compass and find our own truths. But we cannot follow a thin line. To follow that line without an ability to change is to become stuck without  experiencing everything you need to see in a life that can be way too short.

If we look at life in such a way that we know it is fleeting, then we can expand and grow. We can find ourselves even when we feel everything is falling apart. Because we are

First Visit to Colombia
Having fun driving in the mountains!

the future, we have free will.

That is how I have adapted to the death of my daughter. I know she had free will. I was not responsible for her choices as she matured. I did my best, but I am still haunted. I always will be. I will never know if I could have changed the outcome. I will always think about the thin line.

Posted in photo challenge

Details in Life

One of the most amazing natural details I have ever seen is this leaf. It is called Christ’s Tears or Las lágrimas de Cristo in Spanish.

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This leaf is a plant called Christ’s Tears

A phenomenon of natural beauty and elegance that surprises with the intricate detail that is on the leaf.

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One tiny duck one gentle dog
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Peaking over a bucket

Animals can show us so much  detail with their simplicity and kindness. The eyes have it all.

Raindrops on a rose. Detail that is lovely and calming at the same time.

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One rose

With all that happens in our lives, we need to take a moment to look at the essence of the familiar that surrounds us. We need to embrace the beauty of normalcy. We need to let ourselves find joy wherever we can.

When I hike I see so much I can never capture in a photograph. I try. But the reality is you need to get outside and just look around. Let the moment you see something incredible stop you in your tracks. Take that moment and live it. Stamp it in your memory. Then you will understand the details of life.



Posted in Colombian life

I Will Always Look Up

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This photo is not perfect but I love the hummingbird coming in from the top
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Look at the hummingbird coming up to take over!
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When looking up while laying on my back taking photos the perspective is different
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Mango striped hummingbird

Looking up can bring you many images of beauty. Especially in my little pueblo in Colombia. I look up all the time because of all the bird calls. I always try to have my camera nearby to catch a video or photo of the many birds I see. Colombia has the most species of birds in the world. I see so many but I can’t always get them on film. The series above was taken while lying on the ground below the feeders…the images are not perfect but I like the way they show the spirit and spunk of hummingbirds. Hummingbirds are fierce little fighters!

Then there are the animals I always see on my hikes around my Villa. I am always photographing cows, goats, chickens and horses. They wander the mountains and streets grazing in complete freedom. It is truly delightful to see this when you visit Colombia.

Taken from below
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Looking up while he looks down
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Goats checking us out as we ride by

Flowers and plants are always abundant here in Colombia. We have over 50,000 different varieties of plants and flowers. The colors are wonderful, and I don’t have to put any effort into any plant or flower to have them grow as the climate and soil allow flowers to thrive.

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Heliconia plants
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Roses on my balcony
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Then the sun started to fall

Most importantly I like the two words ‘looking up’, because that phrase brings good images to mind. In this world that is so full of suffering and random violence, looking up to see the sky, clouds, a sunset, nature and beauty can relieve us of anxiety; if only for a moment. So tonight when you read this take a moment to look up and see your sunset, or your stars overlooking the world and think positively. We must always save a little hope inside of us for humanity. Even when all we see is rampage and unresolved anger everywhere. Just look up and find the beauty around you, and let yourself feel the peace in that moment in time.

As we age we get wiser. Layers of life. Life, does it continually evolve? Or does it change as we evolve? I often wonder about my own life…the developments that made me who I am now. Sometimes, it is like the past was a dream. I am living completely who I want to be at this time, with a life that many dream they can live. Even the most rich on this Earth don’t have the freedom to enjoy life the way I do now. But I have this underlying sadness. It is like I have had so many stages that all came together and then just stopped when my daughter was murdered.

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A construction pile that is like my mind when I have a bad dream about my past.

Then came Colombia. Where I see myself as I should be for the first time. At one with nature and my surroundings. I live with a heart filled with questions, and an eye’s view of all the beauty that surrounds me daily. The questions haunt me always, I feel them prying into my soul every night when I try to have a peaceful nights sleep. Then I awaken with birds singing and mountain views and I find that tiny corner in my mind that allows me to go on. With these life pictures I see every day I am able to overcome a lot of hurt and sadness. I have come to crave solitude as I age. I want silence. I want to feel the Universe vibrate in my soul. I want to find what my life is supposed to mean. Will I ever be able to do this? I don’t know. It is impossible to even say, as each day is like a wave that breaks at the shore of the ocean. A wave that can be fierce from a storm approaching, or soft like a summer evening with a beautiful sunset. Layers of life. Pictures will always speak for me. I take them randomly with no thought besides the image that appears in front of my view. I see so much beauty in simple things now. I wish I could go back and stress that to my children. That you need to live without a need to impress, that you need to live in such a way that you will never be ashamed of who you are, that you need to live without the need to hurt others: even when you have been hurt so badly you feel so angry. That is what I am discovering each time I click my camera, the images are part of me.

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My view of a beautiful tree while out mountain biking
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The rose that is dying then the new bloom reflects rebirth to me

I am slowly blooming again. I am taking my life back. It took moving to a new country to discover just who I am. I am a strong woman, I am a mother, grandmother and a person of integrity. I no longer hold in what I feel. If I need to say something I do. I will not ever allow anyone to control or intimidate me. I will be honest, I will also be forgiving to the best of my ability. I will grow stronger each day as my layers unfold. That is who I am now. A person with strength to say what I mean, and to let go of what I need to. I will thrive despite a past that hurts me so much. A past others brought to me, but I tried to fix. It never worked. I will no longer fix anyone but myself, because you just can’t. I have learned that in the layers of myself.

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Roses growing strong to the sky

I will continue to do what I need to do, despite the displeasure of others. I no longer care. I only care to do the right thing in a world filled with madness. A world filled with uncertainty and immaturity. A world filled with judgmental people who have no right to judge. I will ignore that and look towards the layers that define me. I will inspire others, and I will show strength and beauty through my photos; photos of many layers. Layers of life, layers that show the sweetness of life, not the adversity. A life I have made by standing tall and proud, no matter what others might say. I have defined my life through these layers and I will continue to do so, no matter how much sadness I endure.Mountain bike ride 053

Understanding the Layers of Life

Posted in Uncategorized

Opposites do Attract

Nature. So many opposites are always confronting me. There are the  hummingbirds who are all different species here at Villa Migelita. They are definitely opposites! Even if they are the same species. They fight and fight each other all day long…and if there is a wasp they hover around it until they can find a time that is safe to land for their precious nectar.Hummingbird battles 023

Then there is the animal and human connection. However, we co-exist so beautifully. I love this photo that I took recently. Love is in the air!Orion in the lake and hummingbird in the house 013

Then there is my bird Luci who is a total and completely fearless little being. She has clipped wings but that doesn’t keep her from being mobile. She is always terrorizing my dogs…sometimes she stands where they leave to go out to the yard and bites their feet when they pass…they run from her. It is really funny. I wake up every morning and smile when I see big Orion run away from her.Luci and Orion 001

How about age? Here is a photo of me dancing with a man that is part of my family who is now 104 years old…amazing really. He still dances and enjoys life with zest…I could be his granddaughter!Hike and family 033