What relationships have a positive impact on you?
Let’s face it, life is an ebb and flow. We lose relationships and gain new ones. We look through photo albums and remember how certain people were so important in our lives, yet now we have no contact with them. Doesn’t it make you sad? Of course, for some, we look for them on social media, find them, and reconnect. Others, we sigh and say Oh well, what fun it was when we were friends. For me, I totally changed my life. I left and moved to Colombia after my daughter died and found a new beginning. Some friends didn’t like that I left my son with his father, and found me to be a bad mother. To be honest, it hurt me because some of the people I respected were among them. But I do not live my life for other people’s opinions, nor for what society deems correct. I live for what makes me healthy and whole. What I did may have seemed hurtful at first, but it turned out to be a wonderful thing for my son later, when he needed to live with me here in Colombia and heal. You know, as I have said many times, the death of a child is devastating in ways no one can understand. Only those who have experienced it firsthand can comprehend. I myself have been healing for almost 15 years since she died. I think perhaps I am healed. But then, the New Year is upon us, and it will be another death anniversary where I remember her death as if it just happened. With that acknowledgement, I go to the subject at hand. What relationships have a positive impact on me?
Anyone who is authentically independent. My daughter was that way, I am that way; anyone who is focused on their own path, standing by their own choices, even when they are unpopular, is alright with me. How can we be happy in life if we live to only please others? When we decide to change to please others, we start giving away pieces of ourselves. No one should do that. As my mother always told me, “Be original, not a carbon copy!” I honor her words every single day, because anyone who knows me knows that I am who I am…good or bad, you will have an opinion of me.
I like people who are culturally aware. Those who have a need to look outside of what their world is and try to understand that others live differently. I appreciate the people around me who are intelligent enough to look beyond their own lives and realize there are other perspectives in this great big world. I live that way, so I can comment on it honestly. I am a foreigner in Colombia, which has given me more cultural awareness than I could glean from any book, fiction or nonfiction. I am so grateful I have experienced everything that I have while living here in Colombia. Some things are not so good, and some experiences are so amazing that I will die and relive them on my deathbed.
My relationships are genuine, honest, and real. I love relatable human beings. Engaging people are interesting, they laugh, they uplift others, and joy is part of their daily life. They show gratitude in life. They try not to be complainers. I chose not to complain when the worst happened to me. I still live that way. I try to wake up smiling, and it has gotten easier over the years, living in the little paradise I have created. I can speak Spanish; I am loved, and I am bold. Be bold, people! Unfortunately, today’s world is not for the meek. It is not what happens to you but how you react to it, good or bad. As I enter a New Year, I have realized that the only person who controls me is me. Those who are in my inner circle know I never stop, I cannot sit still for long because I am constantly moving. Why? I don’t know, but it is who I am, maybe it is the past trauma I experienced, and when I do relax, it is with a glass of wine. Who would ever think I would change my life so drastically, and that it would turn out okay? But it did. After almost fifteen years in Colombia, I am still finding myself, but in a good way. I wish the same for all of you!
Hummings from Paradise 